Hate to make three posts in a row, but y'all tell me if I'm being unreasonable here, seriously. I'm dealing with my mom, and she has a way of making me feel like asking her for anything is selfish and rude, so I don't know if I'm really in the wrong here or not.
She just took my 10yo DS on a week-long cross-country trip to my step-father's family reunion. It was very generous of her, as she paid for everything, including buying him a bunch of new clothes, shoes, and luggage for the trip. Her idea, of course. It was also really good for him, as he really needed some extra attention and time away from his computer. I was really happy that she invited him.
However, as usual, everything has to be her way or the highway. Getting any kind of consideration for what other people want is like pulling teeth. First, she changed the plans at the last minute to leave a day early. I said that was fine. She also wanted to come pick him up the day before that, so they wouldn't be in a rush, and that was fine, too. But when I asked her to pick him up an hour later than she wanted, so that DH could take the kids to the pool as planned, she threw a fit about not wanting to drive in traffic.
Shortly before they left, we realized DS was going to be gone on Father's Day. Since they were leaving a day early, I asked if they could come back a day early to avoid that. I figured it wasn't likely, and it turned out they couldn't because they'd miss the biggest day of the reunion. Oh well, didn't hurt to ask, right? Well, my mom was really flip and dismissive about it, making fun of me and acting like she couldn't understand why DH would even care. Finally she offered to have DS call home that day, like it was some huge concession on her part. The only other time I asked her to have him call, I texted and asked her to have him call home before bed. She complained that that was hours away, and she'd forget. Really? Is it such a big deal to have a kid call home from his first big trip away from his parents?
Today they are getting back into town. Originally, my mom said they'd "get in late," and bring DS home tomorrow. Today I found out that "late" means 3 in the afternoon, so I asked her to bring him home today. She threw another fit. I said I really wanted to see him, and she finally said ok, but she wouldn't drop him off, I have to go get him, and -- get this -- I have to come in the middle of rush hour. Hypocritical, much? I really don't mind going to get him, and I don't even care about traffic, but I feel like she did that on purpose just to get my goat.
This is typical behavior for her. If we're going somewhere and I have to wait for the babysitter before I can leave, she gets mad, even if we have plenty of time. If I tell her that I have to be home by a certain time, and I tell her before we even leave the house, when that time comes she's not ready to leave. She's even like this in conversation -- if I say something that doesn't interest her, she'll change the subject or just walk away. Seriously, she just walks away while I'm talking to her. Even in high school she'd put conditions on doing stuff with me, like ask me to go shopping with her, but then tell me I could only go if I was ready by 8 am on Saturday. Everything has to be *her* way.