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- categoryBreastfeedingtagged by mamazee, 6/2/13
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Breastfeeding kills sex drive???post #1 of 206/2/13 at 9:42amThread Starterpost #2 of 206/2/13 at 1:27pmpost #3 of 206/3/13 at 12:20pmpost #4 of 206/3/13 at 12:22pmThey don't have to wean for you to start menstruating again. They just have to go longer between feedings, particularly at night. In both cases, I started menstruating as soon as they started sleeping through the night.
I should add that one of them continued nursing for two years after that.
And now I'm editing to add a second thing: They probably only have to sleep several hours in a row at night. It isn't likely to take a whole 8 hours of nursing-free time.post #5 of 206/3/13 at 5:45pmpost #6 of 206/3/13 at 6:15pmThread StarterYea I'm sure it could be a combination of things. I do think I'm way more stressed and tired than before, right after I had the baby I was not super interested but at least I could "finish". Then it completely went down hill. I was just curious if this kinda thing is typical, since I just can't seem to remember...post #7 of 206/3/13 at 9:13pm
IT's probably worth going to a doctor who specialises in hormones and getting all your levels checked if you're worried. When you breastfeed, particularly in the early months before menstruation starts again, your estrogen will be down anyway and that makes it less pleasurable for you because you get less vaginal mucous and senstivity in the vagina, so it's pretty normal at this point anyway.
The other thing that you mentioned about the stress can certainly make a difference too though. To be able to orgasm your body needs to switch from running on your stress nervous system into your relaxed nervous system, so if you're firmly entrenched in that stressed feeling this won't be helping either. (and it also affect your hormone levels if it continues for a long time so worth trying to get on top of - I don't have 4 kids though, so no particular suggestions from me apart from saying yes to any help offerred by anyone and asking for help from those around you if you can!)
Good luck!post #8 of 206/4/13 at 8:47amI had that problem with DS. I don't know if it was ppd or because he nursed all the time. It was close to a year before the desire returned. DD is almost 3m and I haven't had the same problem although I do get distracted sometimes because I have baby on my mind! I should add that I menstruated at 12 weeks with DS when I returned to work and at 7weeks with DD (I still don't know why!) DS was bfd until he was 2.5 and DD is ebf. So that obviously doesn't male a difference for me!post #9 of 206/4/13 at 11:50amThread StarterI think my period came back at 7 months with all my babies so far, but I started solids at 4 months with them, and I want to wait till at least 6 months with littlest ds, so my period might be more delayed...idk
I do think that on some level, if DH helped out more I might be more apt to be all in. I do resent him quite a bit at the moment. I'm positive I have some degree of PPD/PPA. Which contributes to my lack of libido....
Thanks to everyone who replied.post #10 of 206/6/13 at 8:29am
BFing has killed my libido, but not my enjoyment once things actually get going, if that makes sense. Which is very surreal for me, as I had a pretty strong sex drive prior to baby's arrival. I feel like I am not myself any more. :( Hoping it will pass when LO weans, but he doesn't seem anywhere close to that at this point. (He is 9 months now.)post #11 of 206/6/13 at 11:51amI'm pretty sure if you looked on sites dedicated to bottle feeding moms you'd see the same complaints. Rather than a bf issue I think you are right to look at your changing family dynamic, stress levels, relationship and post baby hormones. Another thing is are you feeling body confident? I know my libido took a real dive when I didn't like my post baby body. Eventually invested in s nursing nighty that felt a bit sexy - gave a little confidence back because dh couldn't see my tummy during the act, also it felt nice so he would spend longer touching me. Sorry if tmi but I wish I had thought to do this after baby no 1post #12 of 206/7/13 at 10:47amThread Starterpost #13 of 207/25/13 at 9:50am
I have noticed I am extremely dry down there.....loss of interest as well, but the dryness is the biggest problem, because even if I want to get things going, sex is not gonna feel good. I bought Replens (vaginal moisturizer with applicator) but haven't used it yet. I wish there was something more natural, but too tired to research what to do. Whatever product it is, it will require an applicator to get the moisture/lubrication up into the vagina. I am worried some kind of random oil will go rancid up there....! :/
Anyways, I am only 8 weeks postpartum. I should add that my OB is the one who noticed the dryness at my appointment, and she made a comment that it was from breastfeeding, and that breastfeeding can put you essentially into a menopausal-like state, her words. So it's gotta be super normal.
Best of luck!post #14 of 207/25/13 at 7:23pmPp bobcat, fwiw to you, I had found Yes! Lube when I was bf dd2 and found it to work fine and it was natural ingredients and they even had a version if u were ttc.. You can google it. I believe it was from uk or au so I may have had to pay a lot for shipping but a natural product was worth it to me
. Also, I have little to no sex drive while bf until 9 mo-1 yr pp. when ovulation starts again' along comes the sex driving hormones, natures way of getting us to reproduce again, and I have gotten pg 3x as soon as it does return and I (not just him) is in the mood...all while still bf btw but probably starting solids and longer sleep periods...post #15 of 207/26/13 at 2:40pmpost #16 of 207/26/13 at 3:11pmpost #17 of 207/27/13 at 11:15ampost #18 of 207/27/13 at 11:40am
Although it probably won't be much help for the original poster, as this is a different issue than the previous 3, maybe it could help someone else newer to the parenting/breastfeeding game. When breastfeeding my first, menstruation started almost immediately and weight/body image wasn't a tremendous issue for me (not to brag, but I know I was one of the blessed women, at least that time, for whom the baby weight melted RIGHT off - my body issues came a bit later with the sagging skin!). My issue was specifically how I/DH felt about my breasts. He was always a "boob" man, from the moment we met, and then when they were being used to feed baby, he seemed "detached" from them for a while, so it was entirely different. What helped me most was recognizing that our different feelings about my breasts were causing me to feel different about sex, and to discuss that with him - what he was comfortable with and what I was comfortable with.post #19 of 207/28/13 at 11:28am
I had no sex drive at all until my moon came back (and when my moon came back, my milk dried up so it was a big hormonal shift). My moon didn't come back until my child was 2.5! So it was a looooooong break from sex. We tried every now and then, but it usually wasn't comfortable or that enjoyable for me. I felt a little bad because I knew my husband wasn't happy with it, but I also knew that forcing myself wouldn't be good for our relationship, so we just dealt with it.
post #20 of 207/28/13 at 2:10pm
I'm not much help. I was always tired all the time because the little one would wake about every two hours to feed. So I don't recall even really thinking about sex drive until month 3 when the little one would sleep for about 4 hours at a time. At that time, the drive was sporatic too.
I have other issues (fibromyalgia) and that can put a damper on the sex drive due to fatigue too. But I think if it bothers you, discuss it with your hubs (or SO). It could also be a stress, fatigue, or hormone issue and that might be an easy fix by visiting your doctor.
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