1) How are you feeling physically and emotionally?
Physically, great, with two exceptions.
1) Still healing a small diastasis and trying to watch what I eat to get rid of these last few pregnancy pounds around my midsection (I'm guessing on the poundage, as I haven't weighed myself). I am treading carefully with my history of ED, but it's tough since, even though I am decidedly not thin, I have always had a naturally small waist and relatively (not really, but relatively) "flat" belly. In the meantime, I may order an old-fashioned girdle, as most shapers-- even the Squeem-- just give me an even tinier waist side-to-side (which I don't "need") but actually make my belly stick out MORE in the front. Annoying. I really didn't seem to gain much except in the belly, and lost most of it right away, but have been at my current sticking point since 1 week PP. I know why, too-- I have been exercising but not watching what I eat at all-- in fact, eating loads of takeout. Stopped that on Sunday and I already think I can see a difference.
2) My SPD from pregnancy is still bugging me, though it seems to slooooowly be going away. It only bothers me when I sleep on my side-- then my crotch is terribly sore in the morning. This is tough b/c we bed-share and I nurse on my side, etc. Right now, I'm working with A) pillows between my legs and knees, and B) basically sleeping on my back next to Miss L most of the night. I hope it won't be like this for the rest of my life! I'm banking on my connective tissue getting back to normal by 6 months PP or I will see a PT.
Psychologically okay-ish... My issue with not getting enough work done always seems to be about my constant feeling of "being behind" rather than the reality of the situation. That is, whenever I break things down, it's clear that we will meet our goals if I can get 15-20 hours/week work done, and I totally can the way we have things set up (or close to it), and I am not "behind" at all... but it feels like it. Probably because, hey, I'd rather be ahead, and I used to have so much more time, etc. So it's more that I have to work on that feeling than that I need to change my plans or pull some sort of all-nighter to "catch up" or whatever. I know DH has had to work on the same thing, as it's his impulse to work long hours and prove himself awesome and indispensable at his new job (started January), but with this new and overwhelming family responsibility, he has to let go of that and be okay doing B+ (maybe even B-) work and just garnering moderate praise and keeping his job, YK?
I am looking forward to slowly integrating this new responsibility (baby) into my brain and not having it feel like a big chunk of it (my brain) is MIA because I am always preoccupied with her on some level (however subconscious). YK? I hear it takes at least a year to be able to juggle things in a way that makes you feel uncrazy, LOL.
2) How are your partners settling into their support roles?
I think DH is doing better than I am, though I'm doing better than I expected, too. We have a thing in this house, though-- we never refer to DH as "helping" or being in a support role or whatever. We are "co-parenting." I do more like 60% of the co-parenting, though, and even though he is pretty insistent on doing as much as possible, I can see it slipping a little (hard to fight societal expectations). And it's partly me, too, who is unconsciously taking on more than my share (I mean more than 60%-- that much is okay d/t differing work expectations). I am very wary of slipping into what Naomi Wolf talked about in one of her books... Basically DH doing much less and us "calling it fair" when it's not. So...
3) What development milestones are happening?
She is super-obviously working sooooo hard on rolling over (both ways) and getting frustrated, making her pretty cranky in the last week. She is excellent at swinging her legs over and getting to her side from her front or back, or from her side to her back, but she hasn't figured out that she can't roll all the way over with her hands in her mouth, LOL-- she'll have to put her arm above her head or at least along her side, right? I do let her get fairly frustrated before I "rescue" her (by picking her up and comforting her-- not by rolling her over myself!), but can now understand how overwhelming the urge can be to "do it for" your kid, even when you know that's wrong (and ineffective!) I have been pretty surprisingly great about not being impatient for her to get to the "next stage" of development, but when it's sooooo close, I find myself getting antsy about it, so I try to take a deep breath and relax. She's pretty clearly (?) able-bodied, so I don't think she'll be going off to college without knowing how to roll over, LOL.
I wonder if she'll be like me-- it drives me nuts (and especially did when I was a kid) to get the gist of how to do a thing, but to be unable to do so yet, because of physical/developmental limitations or lack of experience. I always wanted to be able to do X right away, without practice, because I understood, intellectually, how to do X. But I think that may not have been so much inborn a trait as something I came to because I was always praised for my intellectual/verbal abilities, etc. Hence why we're concentrating on Unconditional Parenting over here.
Other than the rolling-over thing, she laughs some, is super-interactive, and does absolutely everything else you'd expect a 4-6-month-old to do (she's almost 14 weeks), so we're not concerned here. My MWs have commented on her exceptional trunk and leg control, how much she talks and has "conversations" (pretty awesome), etc. She will also often concentrate on a book(s) for up to 20 minutes at a time, and is starting to play more independently for longer periods (her Tiny Love play mat/arch is one of her few toys). My theory is, I'm not going to try to force "independence" in play (and we all interact HEAVILY), but when she's happily playing by herself, why am I going to insert myself into that? That would just be butting in for no good reason.
4) Do you have a question for other mammas?
I just KNOW I do, but I'll have to think about it and get back to this!