First of all, a general question: What do you do / say when your kid goes to someone's house where they have a dangerous toy, and they think it's overprotective to tell a kid not to use it?
Secondly, any advice for my predicament (below)?
My son (just turned 6) loves the kid across the street. He's an old 8, and is *always* available.
But his family has such different ideas about safety and rules that we decided to tell our son he can't play at their house - their play dates have to be here. How do I make sure it actually happens? Also, I think I need to limit their time together but don't want to deny my son a friendship.
The problem is, my son, who has always been 100% trustworthy until a week ago when he met this kid, has no self control when it comes to this neighbor (my son even said "I really like him, so when he said to do something I shouldn't, I did it"). If the kid says come into my house, he does. Which means I can't let my son walk over and invite the neighbor to play at our house - and trust that he'll come back.
They have guns, which I think think this kid uses for hunting, because he was joking about shooting the the other neighbor's pony in the head and skinning it and cutting it up. Ug. The father was very squirly and misleading about whether they lock up the guns - he's the first parent I've come across that I don't trust or respect.
They also have a trampoline in an area that no adult can see, with no rules. When my son played with this kid on it, I went and watched after a while and they had a hard plastic bucket on the trampoline, the 8 year old was doing flips, jumping against the net, etc. There was a 4 year old on there that was entertaining himself by shoving my son towards the edge while he was in the air, no adults anywhere.... The info I found about trampolines said that about 5000 kids died from accidents on them in 2010, the american ped. society recommends not letting your kid use one.
So after that, no trampoline. They also have ATVs, which their kids use without supervision, helmets or rules.
Their kid proudly told me that he gets to watch violent R rated movies (my son, and most kids in his class wouldn't even want to yet!) and this kid has no bed time or curfue (which he told me at 9pm when I said it was time for him to go home).
OK, and last complaint. When the kid was playing here he called his dad from my phone. His dad yelled at him "don't call me, I'm trying to sleep!" It was about 6pm.
Friends are important! My son loves this kid. What should I do?
Thank you for any comments!!!!!!!