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Lost all my self esteem last night :(

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 

My Fiance really upset me last night while lying in bed, He told me at the last drill hw one of the guys said t him, " Aw I feel bad for ya now that she is pregnant, She had this sexy little goth thing going on before." My Fiance knows how I have struggled with my self esteem especially with the way I look. I felt devastated, He said he did't agree with him, but I couldn't figure out why in the world he would say that to me. I am 19 weeks and my belly is definitely pregnant and I have some mama hips now. I couldn't stop crying , I told him I didn't even want t be pregnant anymore , Then he got upset with himself for saying it to me and kept telling me how beautiful he thinks I am , and how that guy doesn't appreciate a pregnant woman's body, This totally triggered me with my ptsd , and then I felt like it was my fault for over reacting. We went t bed upset which we never do. I feel like I don't even know what t say to him :(

post #2 of 8
I'm so sorry greensad.gif you look great pregnant! Don't let anyone take that away from you.
post #3 of 8

Peacemama, you do look beautiful and it sounds like your fiance thinks so too even though he blurted out a stupid comment made by someone else. That sounds like the kind of thing my DH would do just because he thought the comment was ridiculous and because I'm the person he shares with.  He would do it without realizing it might hurt my feelings. It sounds as if maybe that was what happened with your fiance. Maybe he thought the cute goth part would flatter you without realizing how insulting the rest of it was.

Don't let it bring you down. Try to forgive your fiance for a very obvious lack of judgment if only to save yourself from the hurt. You can bet he won't do it again.

 

Also, your fiance is right that some men (like the fellow who made the comment) just have negative feelings about pregnancy and marriage...

When we were getting married this acquaintance asked DH why he would do that to himself  then when I was pregnant his response to DH was "well, you're life is over now".   He wasn't even remotely joking. People can be awful.

post #4 of 8
Quote:
Originally Posted by ciga View Post

Peacemama, you do look beautiful and it sounds like your fiance thinks so too even though he blurted out a stupid comment made by someone else. That sounds like the kind of thing my DH would do just because he thought the comment was ridiculous and because I'm the person he shares with.  He would do it without realizing it might hurt my feelings. It sounds as if maybe that was what happened with your fiance. Maybe he thought the cute goth part would flatter you without realizing how insulting the rest of it was.
Don't let it bring you down. Try to forgive your fiance for a very obvious lack of judgment if only to save yourself from the hurt. You can bet he won't do it again.

Also, your fiance is right that some men (like the fellow who made the comment) just have negative feelings about pregnancy and marriage...
When we were getting married this acquaintance asked DH why he would do that to himself  then when I was pregnant his response to DH was "well, you're life is over now".   He wasn't even remotely joking. People can be awful.

This ^^^. That guy is an idiot!! Who would say that? He is probably jealous because he is too much of a jerk to have anything meaningful in his life. I agree that I think your husband told you because it is such a preposterous thing to say and so obviously untrue. I'm sure your hubby is kicking himself for telling you but he just assumed you would shrug it off because it's such a stupid thing to say.

You are beautiful. Please love your pregnant body. Someday you will look back at it and remember how beautiful it was to be preggo.

When my hubby and I got engaged two of his idiot friends told him he needed to get a prenup ASAP. I was very insulted by it and not sure why my hubby told me. But turned out he told me because he thought it was a crappy thing to say to someone newly engaged. Not that getting a prenup is bad, but it's no ones business!!

Some folks just gotta hate on other people's happiness. It isn't about you. It's about them.

Hugs!!!
post #5 of 8

Awwww, you're one of the cutest pregnant women I've seen!

 

What is it with guy's friends/acquaintances saying stupid shit?  When our ydd was born one of dh's "friends" (he doesn't speak to him much anymore...one of those perpetual bachelors) said to him "congratulations, your life is over".  angry.gif  I was so pissed, & dh was sorry he even told me, lol.  

 

Ugh, some people are just insensitive assholes. 

post #6 of 8
Thread Starter 

I agree! and thanks ladies. I am starting to feel better. It just came outta no where and was one of those things I would never expect him to say to me. He said that he thought the "Sexy little goth thing was funny" and that was why he said it. 

 

He definitely feels bad about it though he complemented me on  everything since then and even how beautiful my calves look while rubbing my feet. I wanted to burst out laughing...it was cute. 

post #7 of 8
Aww. I'm glad you are feeling better!
post #8 of 8
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peacemamalove View Post

I agree! and thanks ladies. I am starting to feel better. It just came outta no where and was one of those things I would never expect him to say to me. He said that he thought the "Sexy little goth thing was funny" and that was why he said it. 

He definitely feels bad about it though he complemented me on  everything since then and even how beautiful my calves look while rubbing my feet. I wanted to burst out laughing...it was cute. 

Awwww poor thing! Sometimes men just don't understand how something seemingly so small to them can seem so big to us. Poor guy needs a hug LOL!!
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