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Weekly Thread June 4-10 - Page 2

post #21 of 44

Having a hard night.

I got a call from my Mom at 5:45 saying that my cousin Tim had had a heart attack. She was on her way to be with my aunt and uncle an hour and a half away.

Just got a second call that he did not make it.

Tim and I were not close, as he is 13 years older than I am, and we didn't grow up together. However, I am close to my aunt and uncle. They already lost one of their 5 boys to a stroke in 2008, their youngest is recovering from a heart attack that he had a couple of years ago, and one of the others just had surgery for lung cancer. My aunt is currently undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer, and my uncle received a letter from his doctor last week saying that there is a suspicious spot in his lung that they believe is cancer.

I feel so deeply for them. It is too much. They are Christians, and I know that they have a strong faith that will carry them through this, but if it were me, I would be lost.

I wish there were more I could do to comfort them. 

I'm sorry to be such a downer. It is just incomprehensible right now, and I needed to get that out.

post #22 of 44
Aileen, what tragic news! Sending so much love and strength to you and your family during this very sad time.

Dh is at home under the weather, just generally feeling really unwell, ds2 and I had a trip planned to the museum with friends who are visiting from Australia but after waiting two hours for them and trying every method we had on hand to make contact they were a no show :-( so we ate lunch and came home. Ds is asleep in the car and I just feel a bit sad.
Maybe a quick nap is in order!
post #23 of 44

Ciga, that sounds like a pretty difficult birth. I hope this one goes much better for you.


Wow, Aileen, that's a lot of struggle for one family to take on. Wishing them strength and support.


AFM, DH finally got to feel the baby kick last night! She was being reluctant for a while but eventually he got three little thumps from her. luxlove.gif


I'm realizing I need to focus a bit more on DH and spending quality cuddle time together. I've been feeling a little distant from him but we cuddled and chatted last night while watching TV and it made me feel better. The lack of bedroom "intimacy", my barricade of pillows which isolates me in the bed, buying a house, a longer commute, and opposite schedules all contribute to not feeling as close.

post #24 of 44

Aileen - What hard news! Wishing them strength and support during this rough time.

Danielle - Aw, that sucks. Did they ever contact you to tell you what the deal was?

Slammerkin - I'm glad you got a chance to reconnect with your husband. I love it when my husband and I get a chance to spend time together that isn't focused on the kids or running the house, even if it's just a board game or bad television.


AFM: I feel like a total crank. I started pretty excited since my daughter went to her last day of kindy, and I feel so relieved for the end of the school year. Her day only lasts an hour and a half today, so I just had enough time to get some major shopping done before her return, but then my credit card got declined! We used a local bank before we moved, so we had to change bank accounts. My husband opened one by himself, and we keep meaning to put me on the account as well, but we never found the time. When my card got declined, I had no where near that much cash. Ugh. They promised to hold it for my husband could pay this evening. I hope they do. I have a lot to do to get ready for the camping trip we have planned this weekend, plus I hope to hit a few large garage sales to find baby clothes this Friday right before we leave. I hate taking two kids on big shopping trips, and as much as I love my daughter, she definitely struggles with shopping way more than her younger sibling. If they didn't hold it, I most likely will have to do it again, this time with two kids.

post #25 of 44
Thread Starter 
Mainemama, big hugs and condolences to you and your family. That is so much to deal with.

Danielle, hugs mama! I hope your friend got in touch and explained what happened. Being stood up is upsetting. Keep your chin up smile.gif

Slammerkin, I've been feeling a little distanced from my husband as well. I think some cuddle time is definitely in order!

Revolting, Ughh dealing with banks is so annoying. I put stuff like that off too. A camping trip sounds fun though!
post #26 of 44

i signed a lease on an apartment in a fantastic neighborhood today!  yay!  i'm having a lot of anxiety about moving away from the father of my children...i think it will be a good thing--but it makes me sad too.  plus, he can be a real jerk when it comes to things like child placement & child support, etc.  i would like to stay friends with him--but sometimes i think i'm stupid to keep trying to be friends with someone who routinely rips the rug out from underneath me (figuratively speaking.)

hopefully, no matter what happens, he'll be supportive during the birth...another thing to worry about.  that, & i want my kids there--just not too close--they are intense in a regular situation! to doula or not to doula.... my midwife says she will be very supportive during the birth so i don't have to worry about extra support...but i still do.

post #27 of 44
Thread Starter 

Em- Yay!! Congrats on the apartment! I'm sure it'll be a great change for you :) And as far as a doula goes, do what makes you feel the most prepared and comfortable! 

post #28 of 44
My midwife got my ultrasound report today. Everything looks good! Also, it's a girl! I'm completely stunned. I have three boys. There have been plenty of boys born in my family, but no girls in 17 years. It sounded like they were quite sure of what they saw, but I think I'm going to have a hard time believing it until I see it with my own eyes. I'm excited, but also a little nervous. I'll be fine, but I guess it's just that I already know boys. I feel like I know nothing about girls. I'm very happy about it, but I think it's going to take a little getting used to!
post #29 of 44
Emconnel - Congratulations on the apartment that's great news! I'm sure your children's dad will pull through, fingers crossed anyway!

Gracisue - woohoo that is fantastic! A wee girl after 17yrs of no girls in the family, amazing!!!!
I hear you on feeling anxious, we are expecting our first daughter after two sons and I'm still nervous and wanting another u/s for reassurance just so we can check she is indeed a little lady.

AFM - I have a tonne of motivation at the moment which is great, embracing it I reupholstered ds2's bed, the base was handmade by a family member so needed a bit of softening up around the edges so that was last nights accomplishment, with some help from dh as its always nice to have a strong man help out. I had planned some sewing today but we had a rough night with growing pains with my youngest son so we may just take it easy for a while.
22+4 things are chugging along nicely!
post #30 of 44

Em.. that's awesome news!  How exciting - a new start is always a great thing :)  And i feel you on the ex situation.. I have remained "friends" with my ex because of our son, BUT I can never truly forgive him for being such a life destroying jerk when we were married.  I can laugh about him now (years later) because he was such a ridiculous man to live with, but the damage he did to the my and DS's self esteem (not to mention the house) is very hard to forget. 


Gracisue.. I feel the same way - our family is swamped with boys, not to the extent of yours though  The idea of a girl is completely alien to our whole family but we will work together to keep this one as close to cool as we can LOL.. I live in a boy land (guitars, drums, skateboards and Playstation.. and that includes DH) so it's going to be interesting to see the impact of another female in the dynamic :)


Slammer.. thanks for your post.. I hadn't realized in the crazy land of working 6 days and being pregnant, I have pretty much gone to work, come home to eat and crashed on my sea of pillows.  We haven't had any quality time for AGES so thank you so much for making me see that... So tonight is Date Night.. ooh la la.. I hope I can stay awake past 9pm LOL


Shiloh.. your birth advice is awesome :)  I want you at my hospital in case I get to have labour this time!


AFM.. Crazy crazy busy with the shop but happy we seem to be making some money for the first time in years :)  But totally overwhelming amount of stuff to do and ends to tie etc.  I've always done everything myself (if you want something done properly... etc) so the staff all look to me rather than use their own initiative, but delegating is my forte :)  I keep thinking of the big picture.. after the shop closes we get weekends off together and I get to stay  home and be a mum.. so so excited about that!!

We have the follow up scan on Tuesday, so hopefully Peanut will roll over this time, but I'm glad to get a second look before we paint the room pink! 

I'm not sharing my birth story/advice - it was a nightmare.  I did get kicked out of the birthing class (for uncontrollable giggling at a picture of a lady giving birth over a mirror, wearing a leotard!) so maybe I would have done better if I was better prepared LOL... but when you get the crazy giggles, what can you do?  hahaha!

post #31 of 44

Wow I am behind this week's chat.



Em- that's really great news!  I'm so happy for you!


aileen-- my sympathies!

post #32 of 44
Originally Posted by ciga View Post


One of the things that has helped a little is learning about sterile water injections for back labor. I went totally unmedicated last time and though I don't want actual medications this time either everything I've read about sterile water injections has been really positive and there are no known side effects. Back labor was horrible and that is my number one fear this time. I had about 30 minutes during my last labor after my midwife ruptured my waters where the back pain eased and I felt just regular contractions and that was pain I could totally breathe through and handle. The back labor was a whole other animal.

Back labor is the kind I get.  I have tried the sterile water injections during my last birth at home, and they help a bit.  For awhile.  It's still intense, and they come so fast.  but then again I birth fast.

post #33 of 44

I spent the weekend trying my hand at gardening!  First real attempt in our new house (we moved in after the sleet started, just before the first big snow, so we barely had time to rake the autumn leaves away (in the dark, in the cold, and they were all wet already) to enjoy  and tend to our garden!   My eldest mowed the lawn.  I've never done anything green-thumb-y before.  Ever.

Here are our rose bushes in the side back garden, where after weeding and pruning until I was covered in thorns,  I added topsoil on both sides to plant seeds for little wild (mini) strawberry bushes!


Along the back deck is a planter that i added more seeds for wild (those crazy sweet mini) strawberry bushes.



We weeded out this back corner yard lamppost circle and put in topsoil and strawberry seeds.



And lest you think I only care about strawberries, along the back of the house, we left one big and one mini rose bush  in that little stone walled bed, and everywhere else added fresh topsoil and fertilizer and planted corn, tomato, cucumber, spinach, zuccini, pumpkin, cilantro, lettuce, carrot, and cherry tomato seedlings and seeds.  Only one or two of each variety in such a tiny spot, but this is my first attempt to raise veggies!  Let's see how it goes!

post #34 of 44

serafina.. that looks awesome!  gee I feel lazy now, looking at my poor excuse for a garden.  But honestly, I'm not sure if I got down that low down, if I could actually get back up again!  :)

but wow, that looks really cool (and  like really hard work!). 

Oh, and your obsession with strawberries?  LOL!! 

post #35 of 44

I really do love them.  As a little girl, I loved strawberries and kittens.  First cat I named....Strawberry.  :)

post #36 of 44

Serafina, that looks so fantastic!  And I completely get the strawberry obsession - we have a local berry farm that just started selling their strawberry crop this week, and I got so excited when I drove by that I practically crashed the car.  :P  Homegrown ones are so good!

post #37 of 44

And the little itty bitty tiny ones that grow on these bushes are so sweet they taste like you are eating a little bite of candy.  Seriously, they pack in such a small package a sugar rush that even Jolly Ranchers hard candy (my favorite candy in the US) can't compete with, and THAT's sweet!!!  My kids love picking them.  I hope we get a ton but they won't reach full maturity for 3 years so patience!  :)

post #38 of 44

I completely understand the strawberry feelings. I went for a run this morning in a new spot and practically tripped over myself when I saw that all the roadside ones were ripe where the plants have been getting full sun. SO yummy! I can't wait for the farms around here to start picking in a few weeks. Fresh-picked strawberries have been my biggest craving this pregnancy, and I'll be 5 months pregnant before they're ready.


Baby/uterus is having some kind of crazy spasm right now. Anyone else have those from time to time? 


Serafina, I love the planter/planting area in the bottom photo. Is that something that you built?

post #39 of 44
Thread Starter 

I'm on board with strawberry cravings too!! I ate an entire 1 pound package of strawberries the other day. It was amazing haha. 


MaineMama, I haven't personally had that yet, but I've read about them. So strange! It's totally normal though.. I wish I could remember what the explanation was that I read. 


Serafina, I love your gardening! I'd like to plant strawberry bushes, and a blueberry bush in our yard!


AFM, I feel like I'm really starting to pop out now at 23 weeks. And I just finally felt kicks above my belly button today for the first time. It's like she just discovered the extra space up there haha. So much room for activities! In other news, I got a hand me down maternity tankini... we're going on a big family vacation in a few weeks, and I'm not really looking forward to the beach time. I just feel so strange, not used to having this new body yet. I love my belly, but just feel so aware of myself even though I haven't really gained much weight. 

post #40 of 44
Oh I love all the talk of labor and birth, mamas are getting nesty. I've had a week. Ugh. Not ready to get into it now but look forward to going back through this weeks dialog.

I find it interesting to hear from other precipitous birthers too. I have a good chance of this 4th labor sending me to the 6 hour mark or above as far as time I've spend laboring in my life. I could totally relate to the shit fest Shiloh shared but that was more like my first (but I pooped myself during every labor- I think that may be pretty normal all in all especially if your body has a fetal ejection reflex).

My main fear this birth is hemorrhage. I never have but I also don't really expect the midwife to make it. I've only ever had a midwife present before a birth for maybe 20min of all three of my labors. With our son who beat the midwife I had the darndest time trying to get the placenta out and taking a bite would be my plan for stopping hemorrhage... I guess I'll get the tincture I've read about as a back up plan.

My more minor and probably more realistic fear is what to do/dealing with my other children while in labor. So far everyone has slept through their siblings births... I've had people I've called to be on hand for siblings (but baby came before it was needed so she became the gopher). It's probably all just going to work out perfectly yet again but all you can do is make a bunch of plans for various scenarios and then be willing and able to make a bunch more up on the spot because it's never going to be like you think it's going to be. I've even had identical labors (begin with SROM, identical in lenth etc, only difference was the time of day) and that was whole-heatedly unexpected. I don't quite know how else to explain it,
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