Hello! I am interested in getting a few different opinions on my situation. In 2011, I had my son. He was born at 41 weeks and 2 days, I labored for 19 hours and had him in a hospital with no epidural. He was 11 pounds even, and I had a third degree tear and anemia from a post partum hemorrhage.
I had taken a Bradley Class and felt pretty well prepared going in. But in all honesty, my experience of birth was horrible. I felt out of control the whole time. Although I could tell when I was having a contraction, what I felt the whole time was continuous pain. Yes, pain. Not pressure, or surges, but horrible continuous pain. My pain management techniques went out the window when they caught some fetal heart dips on the monitor and made me do continuous monitoring instead of intermittent. I was stuck pacing in a three foot range by the bed hooked up to the monitor, and later an IV, as I kept vomiting and couldn't keep liquid down. I did finally ask for IV pain relief, and had one dose of fentanyl. That lasted 30 minutes and during that time I dilated the last 4 centimeters!
When I was fully dilated, no one 'told' me to push, but there was definitely pressure to do so. Nurses saying things like, "you can push any time now" or "are you feeling pushy at all? How about now?". Long story short, I ended up reclined on the bed doing coached pushing for close to three hours. After he was born, I was exhausted and so was my uterus apparently, because the contractions stopped completely and my placenta was just bleeding me out and not detaching. So they ended up having to reach in and scrape it out in pieces and then do uterine massage for an hour before the bleeding stopped completely, and then sewed up my tearing for two hours.
Breastfeeding was great, my son was healthy and huge and awesome, but the recovery sucked. I was very anemic and weak, and couldn't sit without pain, obviously. I was actually told during my discharge from the hospital to 'not lift anything over 10 pounds' even though I had an 11 pound baby. Haha!
So, now my little guy is two, and I am expecting my second baby in November 2013. Luckily, my tearing has healed beautifully and I have no problems from it whatsoever. I know that I had it MUCH easier than many other births I have read about, but that does not really make me feel very positive about my birth. I would love to have an easier recovery this time, so I'm really researching my options.
I feel like I need to avoid pushing until I can't NOT push, I feel like the coached pushing contributed to my tear more than his size! I feel like if this labor is as continuously painful as my first was, it may be best for me to opt for an epidural so that I can relax and dilate. I dilated so fast once I had a dose of drugs to relax me and I really feel like the stress of constant pain was keeping me from relaxing. I feel like I should ask for a transfusion if I'm so anemic from hemorrhage that I can't simultaneously stand up and hold my baby. :(
I'd like to hear anyones thoughts on this. Positive or negative stories of subsequent births after tearing or hemorrhage, or unreasonably large babies. I am feeling a lot of trepidation about this upcoming birth. I have interviewed three OBs but have decided to stick with the same one I had for my last birth. Homebirth is not an option for me, as my husband and I feel too worried about potential complications and living too far from a hospital.
I know that no matter what, it will be worth it! But I'd LOVE to have the easy recovery that follows so many vaginal births. I am not convinced that an induction for an 'earlier smaller baby' is good for me, and I am definitely not interested in a Csection. But I do expect another whopper of a baby. I myself was 11 pounds at birth and my younger sibling was 13 pounds, so I am not counting on a smaller baby.
Thanks as always for the information and kind support I love and expect from MDC posters! <3