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Facebook: A Rant - Page 2

post #21 of 26
i made facebook mostly for family and there have been many times i have gotten po'ed because of things posted on there mostly from family.


Yes.  My dd proudly and prolifically posts her political/social views on Facebook.  I'm proud of her.  She finally blocked her grandmother/my MIL when Grandma was simply too graphic in her description of the kinds of sex people will inevitably have if same sex marriage is allowed.  eyesroll.gif


Is this hypocritical?  Dd's friends get a little crude with their political comments occasionally.  I'm not thrilled about it, but they're teens, and occasionally I remind dd that her aunts and uncles see her posts as well. MIL's comment was crude, but she's an adult, my daughter's grandmother.  She should know better.  It was the last straw after a few embarrassing comments on dd's posts.  The woman doesn't have sturdy filters on her mouth. 


Was that hypocritical, being okay with dd and her friends occasionally getting colorful, while being shocked and fed up with MIL's comments?

post #22 of 26

I got my facebook account so that I could learn the ropes. . . my dd was wanting an account.  One day, I just deleted all my "friends" that were family.  I left my sisters and one far away cousin on.  One cousin messaged me about it and I explained; we came to an understanding and she is a "friend" again.  Basically, my political views are much different than all of dh's family.  I also didn't like the TMI that a particular SIL posted.  I didn't feel that I could pick and choose from that side of the family without causing a rift.  Therefore, I eliminated them all.  When asked, I say "I don't do family on facebook."  This has been very good for me because I felt that my tolerance of them was getting worse when I saw them on facebook.  


There are a few "friends" that were friended out of 'social politics'.  I have used fb's controls to limit what I see from them, etc.  I have all "game announcements" blocked.  I don't play any of the games.  I do like to post stupid stuff that happens to me (my cat hitched a ride on top of my car once--cat was safe/it was a funny story, but I didn't want to call everyone to tell them about it).  I post pictures of some stuff, my sister in Hawaii likes these updates.  I don't post daily updates or anything like that.  If a friend does, I "limit" them through fb controls.  


I do like connecting with my dd via facebook.  That sounds wrong, but we have a great face/face relationship! Really!  It is fun for her to link something and have me like it.  I like seeing what she thinks is funny/important/exciting.  Her viewpoints have grown and developed and she has learned to be online safely and to think before she posts. 


Anyways, I don't mind it.  



post #23 of 26
I call it the Fbook. I never had an account and most of my book club ladies have now dropped their accounts. They all say it is too political and a big time suck. Even my two teens can be found avoiding it lately. There are plenty of other forums out there for special interests,hobbies and such. No need for all the Fbook drama.
post #24 of 26

I really like facebook, but I have a good friend who just can't deal with it. It really does help me stay connected to some people who have drifted a little. I'm older than a lot of y'all (49 now!), and have friends who are the same age, but didn't have kids. We drifted apart when I had kids and got connected with the mom groups. It's nice to reconnect with those folks. There are some folks from high school and my hometown that I am not really close with and a few folks that I have hidden (relatives on DHs side mainly) and I do sometimes control who can see what I post (not acquaintances, only close friends). I have a fairly large number of friends, though, and I think that's what makes it work for me. I am fb friends with a lot of people from throughout the different stages of my life. My friend who couldn't hang with fb had a small number of friends and was getting friend requests from people she went to high school with and didn't want to stay in contact with. She didn't want to share pix of her kid or tell them what she was up to. When you have a large group of fb friends it's more like a community newspaper or community-wide gathering than a dinner party. 


We're facebook friends with a lot of DH's college friends and it's such a great way to stay in touch with them. They and their spouses and families are a great group we really love, but they're very far flung (Seattle, New York, PA, KS, sometimes Europe, etc). We used to have New Year's Eve party every year before we had families and they would come from all over. It's like a mini-reunion on fb all the time. I have good friends in LA from my brief sojourn there and I'm able to stay in touch and see their kid growing up. 


I think the key for me is to really manage my friends. I hide the ones I don't want to see (have a couple who like to post about their selling businesses — thirty-one, etc; and one or two who like to post about their bunions, etc) and control who gets to see what I post and I have enough other friends and other likes (causes, pages, bands, authors) that I get to see something I am interested in instead. My friend who only had 35 or so friends was only seeing status updates from people she wasn't that interested in. 


I'm also fairly self-conscious and don't update my status a whole lot. I'm more likely to "share" an interesting tidbit (shared about the chromatic typewriter today, which is really cool) or to comment on someone else's status. I do really like social media for its organizing abilities. I've gotten involved in some political protests about issues I really care about because I saw it on fb. My friend without fb also cares about these issues, but she didn't know about the protests.

post #25 of 26

Yes, FB was great for reconnecting with high school and college friends for those of us who graduated when the internet was a baby, before everyone had email and before social media.


I do like seeing pictures of my friends kids and hearing what they are up to. But my FB use is a bit different than many in that I'm not really friends with anyone I see in real life. My family uses google+ more now so that is where I go for family stuff. I like having friends and family sort of separate. There is definitely more melodrama with in-laws so their not being on FB makes it a more pleasant place. FB is mostly people I went to college with. I hide the games, defriend the people that really annoy me, hide posts with big pictures that I find unpleasant, etc. I have just over 100 friends but really should go through and defriend some.


It is in how you use it but it's a can or worms. Someone once described it like a dinner party where no one has given any thought to the guest list. You get the ex boyfriend making a lewd joke in front of your great aunt...

post #26 of 26
Originally Posted by 4evermom View Post

Someone once described it like a dinner party where no one has given any thought to the guest list.

Ha, that's perfect! lol.gif
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