Can the BTDT folks give me some insight? My PPD was pretty bad with my son and I'm just trying to prepare for how I might feel.
I can't help but I'm curious to hear from other mamas too. My son is also 3 and though we aren't nursing anymore we are still super close. I've been able to be a SAHM for most of his life so he is used to having pretty much 100% of me. I'm nervous too. Though, in some ways I realize that as opposed to the coming baby, DS has been able to have all that one on one time. The new baby will never have 100% of DH or I.
I have had this worry and sadness every pregnancy...I even have it now and this is #5!
I haven't ever had it lessen the bond. Squeeze me more for my time, yes...Make some times see crazy...yes.
Heck, we have a queen sized bed and its not unusual for me to wake up with various kids in the bed who crept in early morning hours.
Honestly, I think having more than one helped me to bond even more (once I caught up on sleep) because we did all kinds of awesome family things and felt close together. There is nothing like seeing siblings play happily together!
Sure, they don't all get one on one attention all.the.time - but I'm not convinced that is always the best thing anyways.
Part of me thinks being scared of losing the bond may be just the natural evolution of our kids growing up. I felt it even when I wasn't pregnant and my baby turned 4.
All this to say,
Don't worry - you are more than enough mama for all of the future babes!
As for PPD - I had it really bad after my first...but each pregnancy/child felt better and better and less stressful. Just because you had it with him doesn't mean you'll HAVE to have it again. Becoming a first time mom is sooo stressful!
I just had to give a quick response because that is exactly how I felt!! DD is two weeks old and DS is about 2.5. I had read that a lot of people actually have an aversion to their toddlers when the "new baby" comes, and it absolutely terrified me. i have a very close relationship with DS and this pregnancy wasn't planned (well we wanted more kids but were planning on waiting a little longer). so I had a lot of guilt during the pregnancy about how things were going to be once DD arrived.
But you know what? Having DD has been amazing I actually felt even more love for my son, and he absolutely adores his little sister. DS was very territorial over me, but now he is territorial over *us*. Even when I try to make special time for him, he wants to have the baby involved too, so it has actually added to our relationship. That's not to say that adding another child has been easy...but it has been a lot less traumatic than I was afraid it would be.
Hugs, mama - having those feelings is totally normal, and you are a great mama - I am sure that your relationship will persevere :)
Oh, we also tandem nurse, so that has created a wonderful bond...and showing DS pictures of tandem nursing before DD arrived was probably one of the most important things I did that made DS not feel that he was going to be displaced. I don't know if you are planning on tandem nursing or not (it's HARD) but if you are, it's a great way for everyone to bond.