In the situation you gave us, if the 5yo wasn't actively playing with the toy (brushing doll's hair, using it as a microphone, whatever) I would make her give it to the 1yo.
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toy sharing between siblings - time limit or "until she's finished with it" - Page 2
Poll Results: How do you handle toy sharing (general household toys)?This is a multiple choice poll
21 Total Votespost #21 of 246/17/13 at 11:11pmpost #22 of 246/18/13 at 11:36amQuote:
23% (5)Time limit -- after a certain amount of time it's the other child's turn
61% (13)You get it when the other child is finished with it
19% (4)Some other method (please explain!)
This is what we do too. All their toys are shared. They're young yet though. (1.5 and 3.5) I'm sure it will be different when they're older.post #23 of 247/15/13 at 5:00am
Like one of the PPs we now have very few shared toys.
When DS was born DD already had collections of various toys which were by default hers, most of these were kept downstairs not in her room (we used to rotate boxes). What worked for us was as DS got old enough to play with them we bought him things to add to the set, often it didn't have to be much, a few more duplo blocks or some extra play food. It really seemed to help DD feel that they both had added to the set and they should both be able to play with it. They still seem to remember who got which bits for birthdays and so on.
As they have got older more toys are kept in their rooms and are their own. There are relatively few issues with these, in part they don't have that many which the other is interested in but they are OK at negotiating when they do what to play with something in the other persons room.
Our shared toys tend to be things which I've bought for "the family" such as the electronics set. These are a "let the other person know when you are done" kind of system.
When turns can take a long time I'll bring out the timer. We have one which has lights to show how long there is left, that's really helped with the wii as they have leant not to start a new level if the amber light is on (or at least know they may not get to finish it and save). It's also helped when we've got something new, we recently bought a trampoline and for now I'll set the timer as they are both wanting to play, in time I expect I won't need to as interest will dwindle (hopefully not too much, it take up a lot of garden)post #24 of 247/16/13 at 9:10pm
In my family (kids are 18, 13, 9, 6 and 2), it's "when you're done with it, can you give so-and-so it", or "ask so-and-so if you can have it when he's done" (with no not being an answer). If one child is using it for a very long time, they well be told that they're taking a very long turn, so finish up, in one minute, so-and-so gets it. They can also have their turn cut short if they aren't playing with it, but teasing with it instead, or if they go do something else (bathroom's okay) and then come back expecting to still have a turn. The 18 year old pretty much does his own things- he's too cool to hang out with the kids, lol, and the only one who really has a problem with the rules (especially the don't walk away from it if you're not done rule), is the 6 year old.
On certain days of the week, I watch my sister's 2 year old twins and my own 2 year old, sometimes my sister's 5 and 12 year olds, too. In my sister's house, they're asked, "can so-and-so have it in two, or three minutes". The 12 year old likes to tease with it (using the scooter for a footrest when the 5 year old is waiting for a turn), so that's why my sister's adapted the "how many minutes" rule in her house. When I have my kids and my sister's kids, both house's rules get a little blended into the other house's rules, but for the most part, they've adapted pretty well.
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