I had the exact same concerns! Here is my experience, for what it is worth.
My husband is atheist, and I have always been drawn to earth based spirituality. I come from a very Catholic area, my family follows suit mostly for tradition sake without questioning. Since age 14 or so, I have had quite a few conversations with my family about choosing a more nature based path, but these happened mostly when I was younger and just discovering Wicca. More recently, after baptism became an issue, I thought long and hard about what caused my family to think that I would just go back to Catholicism whenever there was a life event.
What I have learned is that I never communicated as effectively as I should have, and never truly took a stand for what I believed was best for me and stayed consistent. I would have a conversation that I felt was a huge breakthrough, then I would just celebrate Christmas with the family for the next 3 years before it came up again. To them, they dodged a bullet, the conversation pretty much never happened. I tried to soften the blow too much, trying to make everyone happy, and never stood up strong enough. I went so far as to get married in a Catholic church to make my family (mother) happy. I wanted to have the perfect answer to explain exactly how I would raise my kids, exactly what I believe; the perfect answer may never come, but it is what we do that creates experiences our kids will treasure when they look back at their childhood (hopefully!). For me, it was Christmas. For my daughter, maybe it will be Solstice...(and Christmas at Grandma's).
I want to show my daughter that standing for what you believe is important and admirable - I want her to learn to think for herself and to find her voice in the world. I refuse to hold a baptism if my husband and I do not intend to raise our daughter catholic. I researched baby naming ceremonies, found a very sweet officiant who did handfastings and other life events in the area, and started planning a ceremony that I thought would satisfy my mother, though designed through my eyes and worded in a way that spoke to our family. Unfortunately my plan backfired, and we never ended up having a ceremony at all. My mother freaked out, even said...and I quote..."not that devil worship stuff again". It was a very sad moment. I planned a lovely ceremony, and feel strongly that it could be amazing and beautiful, we just didn't have the circle to invite (we were living in a brand new city). The truth is, some will be disappointed with our choices. The important thing is that we stand by our decisions and hopefully open their eyes to another way. Sometimes, though, it didn't seem to be worth the battle. We will see what the future holds!
My husband and I mostly see eye to eye, but we certainly have our differences. We are finding our way of celebrating the changing seasons/wheel of the year, but surely have not figured it all out. I still crave a like minded community, and would love to meet like minded families in the area. If you are out there, I would love to connect! We are in NYC.