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Just can't get excited - Page 2

post #21 of 29
31 weeks with my third and still, not loving the pregnant. I know babies are nice, but not he cooking. It does get better for me by 16 weeks.

Baby is pretty abstract. Except her limbs at this point, ouch.

Identity. For me it came naturally and gradually. Pressed for time I kept the parts that were essentially me, and tossed the extraneous. Like a good editing job. New facets come in, how old they not, change is life.

Also my son took over two dozen flights his first year. Babies are fun to travel with.
post #22 of 29

About the identity thing - I struggled with this a lot when I got married as well, and was worried about it when I was pregnant with DD. My mom kept telling me "you completely lose your identity - you're no longer AllisonRH but DD's mom". I hated that thought.

 

What helped me was when I went back to work when DD was a year (we get a year off for maternity leave in Canada). I literally threw myself into my job and made some really great momentum. I love my job and truly enjoy every minute of it (ok - most minutes of it...). I am still loving my job even though I'm now 20 weeks preg with #2. I'm a little bit dreading the break in my career progress this baby will cause.

 

I also continued to dance which is a passion of mine. I wasn't able to do the 4 classes a week I was doing before I had DD, but I made sure to do 1 class a week to have time just for me to do something I love. I strongly recommend if you have a passion for a hobby or activity to sign up for something regular that gives you a chance to focus on yourself only. I have great friends at dance that see me as me, not DD's mom, not DH's wife. And it gives DH bonding time for him and DD without me around.

 

I'm so happy you posted this as it is so common but not what people want to talk about.

post #23 of 29

Oh man, this is the most timely post. I am just not excited about being pregnant. I wish I could just fast-forward to the awesome having-the-baby-be-here part and skip this whole pregnant bit, and that is very different from how I was with the others. I don't even want to tell people we are pregnant, and so I keep putting it off. At some point I will be too round to hide it, (I am 14 weeks now and have a definite little belly, but am playing it off as just being fat) and tehn all the commenting will begin.

 

"Wow, don't you have 3 kids already?"

"You do know what causes pregnancy, right?"

"You really need to get a different hobby!"

SIGH

 

YES this will be my 4th child. That's fine with me, it's exactly how I wanted it, exactly how I planned it, timed perfectly. This child is no accident, it's a gift from God, and I resent having to smile and nod while people judge me for it. I work at Starbucks, and my customers all think they know me, so they feel comfortable saying things to me, but really, I don't share much about my life there. So I get lots of weird borderline-rude comments and questions and I am just too tired to even think about dealing with it right now.

 

My mother never calls me, and when I call her, she only wants to talk about herself. My husband is never home (busy season at work) and isn't much one for talking anyway. Right now there isn't much that seems exciting to me, and being pregnant is more of an inconvenience than a joy. I feel like an awful person for even thinking that, but there it is.

 

Vent much? :) Sorry about that, you ladies are gems, so glad to have you all here.

post #24 of 29

I totally relate.  I know it's 'normal' to feel this way, but it still sucks.  I'm feeling that I look awful this pregnancy.  I'm not wanting to go anywhere.  I'm not a glowing picture of pregnancy, nor do I want to be, which I find a little bit unnerving.  These are huge adjustments and they are life.  We'll get through them.  At the same time, pregnancy is idealized which is why I avoid pregnancy magazines.  I'm busy looking at Vogue and vowing to get back to my former self.  I feel like my body and mind and LIFE have been hijacked.  I'm sure the excitement will kick in, but, it's no fun going through the discomfort, the weight gain and everything else like the nausea, etc.  Hang in there!  You're not alone grouphug.gif

post #25 of 29
Can u ladies help me out is this a positive
post #26 of 29

Sure is!

post #27 of 29

I'm not a huge fan of being pregnant either. I'd rather just skip to the baby. I like nursing and having a newborn in a sling, etc. I'm very active though and the physical weight and discomfort is irritating to me. People don't want to hear that though, so I keep it to myself. ;)

post #28 of 29
I know this thread is a few months old- how is everyone feeling?

I'm 7 weeks along with my 5th pregnancy- I've had 3 m/c. This pregnancy was planned, and I thought I'd be excited, but I'm not. I can't even get excited about the idea of a baby and I can't really remember even wanting another baby- although obviously I did enough to TTC. I just feel like a dark, heavy blanket has been thrown over my world. I hope it's the hormones and that I'll feel different soon- I never felt like this with any of my other pregnancies and it's really unnerving. i cant help but wonder if something is wrong with the pregnancy, and my body knows, but i had an u/s yesterday and things looked fine (although it is still early.) I don't want to tell anyone i'm pregnant because I can't muster the expected excitement and joy- I feel horrible and guilty, but I just am not feeling it this time around.

Thanks for creating a safe space to discuss this. I feel like the world's worst pregnant woman greensad.gif but it's nice to know I'm not alone in this.
post #29 of 29

I'm on tp the 22 week or so and I'm feeling pretty good. That first trimester is the worst time. It only gets better from there! :)

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