My real concern is not so much the section itself, but the place we are having it done at. I don't feel that most of the staff are too competent. I am terrified that something is going to go wrong. My husband and I are alone here with no family. If something were to happen to me, my parents are in no way really able to help him with the kids, and his entire family is in Pakistan. I think you are in New York, so you probably have not heard of Henry Ford Hospital. The one that we are going to is their Detroit facility. I have had good luck at their locations in Dearborn and Wyandotte, but the location in Dearborn does not do deliveries. The doctor who is doing the surgery (who we have never met) only does it in Detroit. She may well be competent, but from what I have seen so far, the residents and nurses at Detroit are not that good. And I will be at their mercy during my recovery. We also had a big blowup last week with a senior staff physician and checked out ama, so I am worried that will influence how we get treated.
Pamela England says that we all have one major fear about birth in her book Birthing From Within. Mine has always been that I will get cut open and then die. I have never feared the pain of naturally birthing, as I know a lot of women do. And I do not begrudge anyone of their fears. I just have this sense that something is going to go wrong. Don't know if it is intuition or hormones or lack of family support or simply fear talking. It is just hard to logically sort it all out.