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Weekly chat June 10th to 16th

post #1 of 52
Thread Starter 

Lovely lovely gardens ladies, I agree! I'm so wanting to start one, but we only have bricks in our backyard so buying plant boxes could be pricey. I'm also pretty horrible at staying on TOP of the gardening thing. Last summer I had some herbs and when the REALLY hot days came, I neglected the plants and they died. Sheepish.gif


Man do I feel pregnant this week! WHEW! My belly is really round now and I'm getting the dreaded hip pain I was hoping would be solved by the chiropractor. I should take a photo with this particular tank top on, oh man I look HUGE!


Have a good week ladies!

post #2 of 52

We've been really slack with our garden this year, mainly because I've just not felt up to it. We have planted onions and potatoes though, so hopefully we'll avoid potato blight this year. But we have also been allowed to expand our garden into some recently cleared woodland, and we're going to make it a sort of adventure bit for the kids, and we'll also build a wee fire pit. There's a lovely beech tree in the area which is perfect for both a tree swing and a tree house.


I've been feeling a bit down about pregnancy this week, mainly because of all the horrible side effects of it. I hate having so little energy, and I also hate having so little patience with my daughter. I think she's having a hard time of the whole thing as well.

But on the positive side, we've been having really good weather, although it's a bit colder this week. I was expecting a repeat of last summer which consisted of cold and rain literally all summer, hence the potato blight. So my daughter and I have been spending every possible moment outside which has been lovely.


How is everyone else doing this week?

post #3 of 52

I'm taking my kids to an amusement park today, hope I can keep up with them.  Whew.

post #4 of 52
Hosting a play date for DD this afternoon. She's been begging for one and I just haven't been able to muster up the energy to deal. But she really likes this little kid and they are old enough that they don't need constant supervision (as long as all the scissors are put away!).

I'm also taking a series of summer intensive courses to make sure I have enough credits to finally effing graduate(!). It has been a long, long three years and I want OUT! Still, want to drop one sooo much. This first one nearly killed me and the new one that starts today looks nearly as intense.
post #5 of 52

Our garden has gotten a little wild and full of weeds since I got pregnant.  Right around that time, DP started a pretty intense job, so he didn't have much time to do maintenance on the garden.  And while his job ended, he's now busy catching up on all other kinds of stuff he couldn't do while he was working.  I'm still pitching in a lot with cleaning the house, but keeping up with the garden has definitely fallen to the wayside.  We just need a serious weeding weekend to get it back under control, I think.  It's the rainy season here, so other than weeding, the garden is pretty low-maintenance.  We've got celery, lettuce, green peppers, dill, rosemary, mint, chives and a tiny fig tree.


So, I got it in my head that I should add squats to my no-exercise routine since they are supposed to be good for preparing for labor.  (I call it my no-exercise routine because pretty much I've just relied on the fact that I walk a lot - 45 min-1.5 hours a day - and not actually started a formal exercise routine.)  So yesterday I did 30 squats, spread out through the day, and was thinking, "Wow.  This really isn't that hard, I can work my way up to 200 a day no problem."  But today my legs hurt SOOOOOOOO bad.  I am so sore, I can't believe it.  Just going up the stairs at my office this morning was so painful.


On another note, my partner and I had an epic fight last night.  A screaming, crying and yelling kind of fight.  It basically started because I was really upset with him after feeling like he had kind of ignored me and been rude all evening while I ran around with him to visit his dad and run some errands, which got me started crying (I was also hungry and tired, so that didn't help).  And then, when I was upset and crying, he started laughing at me which just made me SOOOO angry.  And the angrier I got the more he started laughing and it just escalated into a shouting, cursing and screaming match that I'm sure sure scandalized all of our neighbors (all of our houses are right on top of each other, so you can hear everything that goes on).  Finally, he went to his friend's house who lives down the street.  And I started getting sadder and sadder and he wouldn't answer my calls or texts.  After about an hour and a half he finally answered me and said he wanted to stay there the night and talk in the morning.  But I couldn't sleep with so much tension between us so I pleaded with him and he agreed to come home and we basically hugged without discussing anything and agreed to talk today and then went to bed.


I'm kind of at a loss of how to address it today, since it felt so out of control and out of character.  This morning I just quietly got ready for work (I had to leave really early and he was still asleep) and left.  Like I know that my hormonal moodiness had a lot to do with it escalating so much.  But I'm just so hurt by him and especially his laughing.  I want to own up to some of my part, but I'm worried that will cloud out the less explosive ways that he is hurting me, too.  I know he already thinks the pregnancy has made me explosively emotional, and it has.  I can see that once I'm out of the explosions.  But I also feel like he's really insensitive in how he handles all of that and I want him to see and understand and change that.  Uggghhhh.....  I feel so shitty today and I have a really long day at work.  Close rant.

post #6 of 52

Lilmamita; I'm sorry you had such a bad fight last night. Pregnancy seems to make us more prone to fights as well. I think I just have less patience for stupid things that my partner does.


I also really need to do squats as well. I was doing them for a while, but I stopped when the sugar took away my motivation.

post #7 of 52

lilmamita - I think you have the right idea by just saying to your partner what you said here - that it was out of character for you, but he was also out of line by laughing (god, that burns me up too, thought it's usually not DH for me, but a friend who does this).


cmu204 - Good on you for trying those intensives!  It's a hard call whether to try it now (when you're already tired/exhausted from pregnancy) or whether to wait until you have a newborn in the mix.  It's a hard one to balance, especially if you don't know your newborn's personality yet, KWIM?  My thoughts are with you whatever the outcome!


Serafina33 - Gold star for you for taking the kids to a theme park!  I couldn't even imagine doing it right now, but today it's like, 94 degrees F here and crazy humid, so that may be adding to my whinyness on the subject.  I don't handle humidity well AT ALL.   Which gives me even more empathy for lilmamita, who surely must be dealing with bad humidity too in Central America, right?


nettlesoup - I feel like I haven't seen you in awhile!  I am sorry you're feeling down about the pregnancy irritation.  I lost my temper at my older DD yesterday and spent the afternoon feeling guilty.  On the flip side, I think she'll remember the cool play area you're designing more than a few snippets of short temper.  That cleared woodland area sounds divine!  A fire pit has been on my "to do" list for a few years, and I'd love to hear about the results.  Marshmallow roasting isn't the same over a sterno can.


tillymonster - I hope chiro helps your hip pain!  Mine began last week as well.  I found a good prenatal massage deal on Groupon a few weeks ago (two prenatal massages for under $60) so I snapped it up and my first appointment is tomorrow!  I cannot wait.  I love spending days with my kids, but when I think about that massage, they'll be lucky that I slow the car down to kick them out at my in-laws!  ROTFLMAO.gif


AFM, DD2 began her speech therapy this week and we're really happy with the therapist so far and feeling much more confident in DD2's abilities and skills.  Tomorrow is the aforementioned massage (oh please, yes), and I am strongly considering getting a haircut.  Story time; gather 'round!


For the longest time, I had short hair and I loved it.  Like a longish pixie:


Then, I get to this phase where I see these lovely girls with stellar looking braids on Pinterest and that coupled with spending money on haircuts every 8 weeks;  I start to think "I should grow it out".  I spend 2 years growing it out and then it gets to about the length I have it (pic below) and I get too hot/sweaty/humid and I think F THIS NOISE and I hack it off before it gets to braiding length.




So my mom thinks I need to suck it up and stay the course and grow it out despite kvetching.  My hair is straight and thick and doesn't hold curl or even a perm.  I love the way the girls stroke my hair right before I go to sleep and if I blow it out, it looks lovely and poufy.  However, I'm tired of doing nothing more than putting it in a ponytail or a bun every day and it just looks, meh.  I got tons of compliments on my hair when it was short but when it's long, I look just like every other girl who has medium straight hair that just hangs there...


I'm thinking of either going back to the aforementioned (and afore-photoed) long pixie, or doing the Victoria Beckham inverted bob from years past, but there is concern that the inverted bob will look too matronly or like Kate Gosselin. (top photo is Posh, but I'm not going blonde, bottom photo is random Pinterest girl who has a cute crop)




Honest thoughts or opinions?!?!

post #8 of 52

aidenn - Believe it or not I was thinking about doing the exact same thing to my hair! I grew it out the past few years for no good reason and now I think I need it OFF again.

post #9 of 52

Also if it helps, the short hair looks really cute on you.

post #10 of 52

Thanks for the commiseration and pep talks nettlesoup and aidenn.  As one of my old coworkers, who has two kids himself said when I told him about the fight, "Rule #1: Don't laugh at the angry pregnant lady."


DP and I just met up for lunch and we talked and I cried, but eventually we came to some sort of understanding, I suppose.  I will try to not explode again and he will try to be more sensitive.  Then we got lunch and I ate so much I am now uncomfortably full (I keep doing this!!).

aidenn, I like the short hair a lot.  But you also look good with the medium length.  My favorite thing about short hair is you can change the kind of short cut/style you have really frequently.  I think the Posh look would look great on you.  I like the other cut, but she seems to not have as much hair as you, so it might not look the same.  Right now mine is on the shorter side of medium with a kinda mullet-like cut my friend gave me that I really like, but I'm getting anxious to switch it up.  I like doing something different every time I cut it and I usually prefer what non-professional friends come up with rather than a legit hairdresser.

post #11 of 52
Originally Posted by katalopolis View Post

aidenn - Believe it or not I was thinking about doing the exact same thing to my hair! I grew it out the past few years for no good reason and now I think I need it OFF again.

That is GREAT to hear!  Sometimes I get worried that I am just pissy about my hair because of the weather or something, so it's good to hear others share their opinions on their hair too!!


lilmamita - I agree where photo #2 girl probably has more normal hair rather than the mega thick junk I've been blessed/saddled with.  I think if I got it thinned out a bit, I might be able to get closer to that second photo, but yeah, I totally see what you're saying in picture #2.  I also like what you had to say about getting new cuts more frequently.  I feel the same way, like hairstyle ADD and I really think the only reason I haven't lopped my hair off prior to now is busyness with the kids and/or dedication to have long hair with at least one pregnancy.  I had this idea of a nursling playing with my long beautiful tresses, but then I kind of "got real" and thought, no, they're probably just going to hamfist it and then YANK.

post #12 of 52

Aidenn; I think the second one would really suit you, that would be cool. And yeah, I've been a bit slack on here lately but I'm going to post more often as it's nice to be talking to you guys and sharing all these weird pregnancy things!


cmu204; I don't know how you manage to do intensive courses at the same time as being pregnant and having your DD to look after! You're pretty hardcore.


I had my midwife appointment today which was fine. She took blood to check my iron levels and also gave me the Rhesus negative jag which really stings! She also recommended that I see a physiotherapist about my split abdominal muscles, so I'll phone about that tomorrow.

My daughter and I also went to the charity shop before the appointment, and got hold of two demijohns for really cheap and a book that I hadn't been able to find anywhere, so in all it was a good day!

And this baby is being so active compared to how my daughter was. He's kicking and rolling about all the time! The midwife was saying that it could reflect how he'll be after birth and as a child. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not as my daughter has always been really laid back.

post #13 of 52
Aidenn, I like your first hairstyle, the picture of you with short hair the best! smile.gif

All this talk of hair styles got me thinking that you ladies might be able to help me decide on a wedding dress. smile.gif I'm getting married to the love if my life on July 7th in my yard with about 10 of our closest friends and family. His sister will be doing the ceremony so it will be very private as well. Afterwards we will have lunch here together and just hang out and chat. Also this is my second marriage and his first. With all that in mind I have no idea what to wear. I don't think I want the standard wedding dress but I would like something special. Not even sure if it should be white or something like a simple summer dress. I want it to look nice in pictures so nothing overly trendy. Thoughts???? smile.gif
post #14 of 52
Originally Posted by aidenn View Post


lilmamita - I agree where photo #2 girl probably has more normal hair rather than the mega thick junk I've been blessed/saddled with.

We could just as well classify that girl as having freakishly baby-fine and thin hair and you (and me, too, for that matter) with a thick, lustrous mane.  nut.gif

letniaLynne, I think the white vs. non-white dress boils down to how much the color white means wedding to you and, also, how important it is that the photos look really wedding-y to you. <says the girl who doesn't want to have a wedding but loves going to them> My parents also got married in their backyard and my mom wore a very nice non-white dress she got at a thrift shop.  She also had a little flower garland on her head, so it isn't that hard to tell it is a wedding in the pictures.


Has anyone read Baby Catcher??  I just asked a friend to bring me Ina May's Guide to Childbirth (trying to get ready for labor and childbirth and get ideas for getting through it) and she said her housemate recommended Baby Catcher over Ina May's Guide.  I was looking online and it seems like Baby Catcher is more of a midwife chronicles rather than focused on getting you ready for childbirth, but that is just what I'm getting from amazon.com descriptions.  Any thoughts?  I really can only afford one book right now but might be able to stretch it to two if it seems really worth it.

post #15 of 52
aidenn, I really like the short hair pic and I think the last picture would suit you well. That being said, I've always been told not to cut your hair while pregnant or post partum. I also have super thick straight/wavy in some random spots hair. It's an absolute disaster to grow out. I hacked it off shortly after I had my dd and regretted it so much! It's finally about to my boobs and as much of a pain as it is, I am so not chopping it off! BUT, since you normally have a long pixie cut that really truly does suit you I say go for it! As long as you are sure wink1.gif

Letnia, congrats on the wedding! My cousin got married in a backyard. It was his wife's second wedding and they did such an amazing job. She wore a dress her mom made. It was a dusty blue T length dress. I thought it was so perfect for a second wedding.

lilmamita I'm so glad you and your dp made up. I'm in the "over emotional explosive fights that I later regret but am still angry at my dh for the way he treated me" camp. It's very hard.

Hi everyone else! I hope you're all doing well smile.gif I'm sore today. Just sore everywhere. Hips. Ribs. Sciatic nerve pain. Tail bone pain. Lots of low kicks in my lady bits causing shooting nerve pain. Lots of painful rolls and kicks in my previous c section scar area. My dh is out of town, has been for over a week and isn't due home until this weekend. So, needless to say I'm exhausted from chasing my dd around with no break.
post #16 of 52

aidenn, I think you look good with the short hair though I don't think you should chop off your longer hair either. Shoulderlength is hard because it's in between. My hair is long and thick and so easy, just put it in a pony tail or on really hot days twist it up. I get a haircut once a year (but I'm pretty low maintenance in every other way as well, don't wear make up etc.)


lilmamita, good to hear you were able to talk to DH. Normally I would say speak up before you feel the need to explode but maybe that doesn't apply in a hormonal situation, I don't know. I am of the opinion that the "explosive" arguments usually are about a whole lot more than just one thing, it's just that the one thing was the straw that broke the camel's back.


nettlesoup, what is "the rhesus negative jag"?


letnia, DH and I got married on a beach, it was also my second marriage and his first. I thought about getting a tea length dress, tried some on and decided against it. I ended up with a very simple strapless, off white gown. DH was considering getting some linen pants and a white shirt and also decided it felt too casual and ended up wearing a suit. Even though we got married on a beach the clothes we're wearing ended up looking appropriate and we have "wedding pictures". I wanted pictures that definitely looked like we were getting married so that's how we chose what to wear. I will say it was only us, his parents and my mother so there was no color coordinated wedding party, groomsmen, bridesmaids etc.

post #17 of 52

Letnia - Congrats!  DH and I got married in February in a park.  originally we wanted about 10-12 people there, but parents invited people and it became 30...still pretty small.  No bridesmaids or groomsmen, no band, reception was a potluck at the park, DIY decorations, etc.  People told me for months how much they loved my wedding!


I didn't want a normal wedding dress either.  I did go to David's Bridal to look around but it wasn't for me.  I ended up finding my dress at a local 'hippie' store; the dress was $39 and the beaded shall was $24.  It worked b/c I was a few months pregnant at the time and wanted something stretchy.  I tried it on again 2 weeks ago and it still fit (hoping I can wear it to my 2nd wedding reception when I visit my hometown in early July).  Here's a photo (not the best wedding photo but you can see the dress):



post #18 of 52
Aidenn, I like the short cut, too. I adore short hair on women, and I would go for it myself if I could ill it off. I cut all my hair off into a cute pixie cut a few years ago and hated it on myself, but I'm glad I tried. You look great with short hair, so I say go for it!

Lilmamita, I'm sorry you and DP are having some issues. That's a lonely feeling, I know. We've been there on and off, too, and we've had some of those really awful, loud, bad, embarrassing fights, as well. Good luck!

Mamamash, I'm having some sciatica now, too greensad.gif yucky! It just started a couple of days ago. Seems like every day or so I'm reminded of how pregnancy isn't all a bed of roses!
post #19 of 52
Thread Starter 
Aidenn-- I love love love you with a pixie cut! My so-called BFF (we aren't that close now sadly) had her hair in that sort of look but a but more punk-ish as she liked to spike it with product etc. I think both looks would work well but you'd have to style them and since you've btdt, it sounds like no biggie. But it might be painful with a newborn, right? I am DYING to cut off my super long (like past my bra strap length) super fine tangled mess of hair right now. I can no longer wear it down because it's so heavy and HOT. I like how Heidi Klum has hers but DH is crazy for long hair and would be so upset if I did something short. One day when I have the nerve, I'm gonna chop it off!

lilmamita-- yeah emotional fights are something I went through ALOT being pregnant with my DD. And guess what? She's a super sensitive creature so it makes you wonder all those silly little things that turn out to reflect how your kid comes out. But that's a whole 'nother strange thing about pregnancy.

My DH does disrespectful crap like what yours did too but it's usually not laughing its more yelling and guilt trips. Being my 2nd pregnancy I think because I'm expecting super hormonal-ness from myself, I've been able to rein it in. Though I feel so much less of those symptoms this time around! I'm getting more discomfort physically.

It's funny because I haven't done a squat in weeks... Why? So. So. Sore! It was debilitating and I told myself if something hurts that much-- don't do it!!!! I'm really taking a "listen to the body" approach this pregnancy and if I don't want to work out, or working out just plain hurts, I stop. Same goes with food. I almost horked up my lunch today for goodness sake! It was chicken taco meat on top of salad. Ugh. So I switched to apples and homemade almond/walnut/pecan butter and was much happier. I stop eating when I'm full! What a concept! I've never been good at that and always feel like I have to finish everything.

But I digress... and hope your partner learns his lesson about how far he can take it. Mine is mostly ignoring this pregnancy and that's really pissing me off but like I've said before a few times-- lots on our plates right now!

letnia-- I liked white because it is a color that works with my skin tone! Some women can't pull off the ivory and I feel should go with another color. I also feel like matching the "theme" of a wedding is fun and I did that with mine-- we got married on a boat-- The Majestic Queen Mary, so I went with an glamorous but simple a-line dress with a sweetheart top. Though if it was my taste I would have rather worn something more subdued, Grecian or fairytale-like. If that makes sense. That was not the overall theme of things so it wouldn't work, especially in photos-- I made a good effort to hire an excellent photographer because I knew I'd love looking at those pictures in frames and telling my kids about it. Just thought I'd offer up my experience and congrats. Weddings are SO FUN!
post #20 of 52

Dakipode; Rhesus negative is when you have O negative blood type. Apparently this can cause problems if the father has a different blood type as your body could mistake the baby as a foreign body and attack it. So the rhesus negative jag prevents that. Here's a link explaining it; http://www.mumsnet.com/pregnancy/rhesus-negative-and-the-anti-d-injection

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