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I need a pep talk!

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 

Rather new here and feeling like a pariah when it comes to not vaxing . I totally "get" the  feeling of being the only one in the world. Glad to read other posts.

 

I researched the topic of vaccination -both pro and con- extensively and obsessively starting 10 years ago with my first, drew my conclusions and made my decision not to vaccinate my children.  I didn't give it a second thought when my third child was born 2 years ago. I just got on with parenting and the topic died off in conversations with the mommy groups I am in. However....it has come back again now that we are entering a new phase with childhood activities and vaccinations are necessary to participate. There are many in my area or so it seems, if not most who follow CDC schedule, a few who selectively vaccinate and none who will admit to not vaccinating except me. And yes, I am now paying the price with alienation from some parents and childhood activities. I think I need to zip the lip and only admit the no vax to a select few if only I knew who they were. I always thought it was like breast feeding. The more people who bf in public, the more accepted it will be but with vaxing it is almost becoming a witch hunt and it doesn't even matter if we have had family issues in the past.

 

Just this past week I was told by a pro vax pediatrician (a conversation I would normally not have but it was unusual circumstances) that (in a round about way) I am responsible for breaking the link in herd immunity, children die every day from these diseases, my information is incorrect, the ped's friends at the CDC don't lie, over 98% of the population is vaccinated and I am the only one this doctor has ever met in 21 years of practice that does not vaccinate as well as a few choice stories of the unvaxed children she nursed back to health. I was also told that an exemption only qualifies if my child has had a reaction-in my mind that is too late once there is already harm done. Now I know the above is not necessarily true, but I am in dire need of finding authentic current statistics to quell the sickness in my stomach of feeling like I am doing something wrong. Sadly the stomach and the brain are at odds with each other. My kids are overly healthy (knock on wood) and I feel like we are doing the right thing but.....I still feel sick about it when confronted. I need a pep talk! PLEASE!!! Tell me why you aren't vaccinating and let me know of any current websites with up to date credible statistics. I think I just need to hear someone on my side.

post #2 of 16

Credible stats on current disease in your area can be obtained from your local health dept...just call and ask.  I am a mom to four, one who is vaccine damaged, and the rest of my kids are vaccine free, pretty  much grown now, too...youngest is now 17, healthy as a horse, hardly EVER sick, and when he is, he's over it in a day.  He also outgrew his asthma at age ten.  It never came back as of yet.  And the drs and nurses who tell the horror stories just do it to get parents to comply with their agenda.  A nonvaxing parent is not in line with 'their agenda' for your child, hence the scare tactics, and bullying measures being used on you to comply with them.  I also do not tell people our medical decisions-it's none of their business.  If a parent is truly wanting info on the vax issue, then I will give info, but generally, in playgroup or school functions or even talking to other parents, medical issues and discussions are off limits, imo.  The 'witch hunt' surrounding the vaccine issue, is good ole mainstream media putting the fear in the masses of society who don't do their homework on these things, and rely solely on CDC, FDA info at all times...these people are incapable of thinking for themselves anyway, and sound like parrots when talking about illness, treatments, etc, etc...

Again, good stats on diseases are found in your local health dept for your area, and any area you are interested in.  

post #3 of 16

You can also get stats from the MMWR weekly the CDC puts out.

 

 

In any case. You are not alone. I'm actually surprised when I learn of yet another parent that is choosing to not vaccinate that I know. I think more and more people are making that choice, but nobody talks about it for fear of exactly the kind of treatment you described above. It is a shame because if more people just talked about it, that type of treatment would probably go down. Its a catch 22 really.

 

I have 2 kids 5 and 1 both unvaxed. I feel good about my choice and know its the right one for my family, but also let the propaganda and the naysayers get to me from time to time. It's not easy being a minority is it? 

 

I don;t advertise that we don't vaccinate, but I won't deny it if someone outright asks me. I generally will feel the person out and you can tell how open minded people are about the issue fairly quickly. If they are not - I just don't get into a discussion - period. Not worth it. As for the tongue lashing you got by the ped. NO WAY I would stand for that kind of treatment. That ped would have heard a few choice words from me before he/she saw my back and me walking away.

post #4 of 16
We are the minority. But I think we are BRAVE. We are strong to not let the bulling of doctors and nurses and scared people push is into something we are not comfortable with. Keep your head held high. wink1.gif you are not the Only one.
post #5 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marnica View Post

...I feel good about my choice and know its the right one for my family, but also let the propaganda and the naysayers get to me from time to time. It's not easy being a minority is it? 

 

I don't advertise that we don't vaccinate, but I won't deny it if someone outright asks me. I generally will feel the person out and you can tell how open minded people are about the issue fairly quickly. If they are not - I just don't get into a discussion - period. Not worth it...

 

Took the words right out of my mouth.  Hoping to see the tides turn on this debate by the time my babies have their babies... one can dream, right?  :)

post #6 of 16

Welcome.gifto Mothering!

 

 

 

Now I am taking my mod hat off and putting my member hat on:

 

If/when it becomes an issue or people ask (sneer?) - I tell them it is on religious grounds we do not vaccinate. Mostly it is the truth and mostly it is the simple answer.

Typically (if the person has any tact) they will just nod and let it be. Sometimes they want to know more about 'such religious beliefs', and if they're kind and curious I will answer...If not, I just blow them off with a response about the First Church of Bob. In a world of reality tv shows and massive over sharing - I think people sometimes forget what IS and ISN'T their business.

post #7 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by witchhavis View Post
 over 98% of the population is vaccinated and I am the only one this doctor has ever met in 21 years of practice that does not vaccinate as well as a few choice stories of the unvaxed children she nursed back to health.

That is just funny.  She has never met an unvaxxed child but she has nursed several unvaxxed children back to health.  ROTFLMAO.gif

 

Welcome to MDC.  

 

There are lots of unvaxxed and semi-vaxxed kids floating around.  Many times there parents do not advertise it, though, so you can feel alone.  

 

I am not closed lips about my vaccine choices - as I agree in trying to normalize it.  However, I seem to live in a pretty accepting are as i have never had the issue some people here have had.  Lately, if the topic comes up, I tend to let a more common choice out of the bag, like "we do not get flu shots" and see where that goes.  i often know whether or not to open up by how they respond.  

post #8 of 16

"Herd immunity" should be fine with a 98% vaccination rate. So the doctor is wasting her time arguing with someone of the "2%".

 

Also not sure how she could not know any unvaccinated kids, while she has nursed several back to health.

 

It sounds like she's someone who pulls statistics and stories out from nowhere to suit her beliefs and agenda. Don't let someone like that make you feel sick about your decisions that have obviously benefitted your very healthy kids.

 

I bet there are people you know, whom you assume vaccinate their kids, but don't. I don't vaccinate my kids, but I've never told anybody (other than anonymously, on the internet). I also seem like a pretty conservative person (as in, not "hippyish"). You would probably never guess. To protect my family from what you have experienced, I would even lie about it if asked directly, although if it were a parent asking, I would make an effort to somehow let the person know they have a choice, and that exemptions for school/childcare are available.


Edited by ma2two - 6/13/13 at 10:28pm
post #9 of 16

I know how you feel about being the only one who does not vaccinate. I'm sure once my "hippie friends" start to have children I won't be the only one; however, at the moment I am. Thankfully my family is o.k. with my decision... or not.. considering that I keep hearing "you'll change your mind when Jaya is born." I'm 3 weeks away and still very adamant on my non-vax status but whatever. I don't plan on bringing it up again to anyone other than my sister, who admits that the only reason she vaxed her kids was to avoid a headache when they go to school.

 

When I used to frequent another website, I learned about the whole "vax vs. non vax" war. Before 6 months ago I figured it wouldn't matter to a vaxed person if there is a non-vaxer somewhere. I admitted my choice on said forum when someone was asking about a delayed schedule and woooosh, the winds of change blew. The thread instantly turned into how I have a "moral and social obligation" to inform my community of my non-vax status that way people can make informed decisions whether or not to be around my child. I thought this was absurb... for example, if years down the road my child is invited to her cousin's bday party I should make sure that the other parents aware of my child's vax status. It seemed very witch-hunt like and I became a social pariah on AN INTERNET forum for pointing this out. 

 

So at the end of my rant.. I agree there is no reason to tell anyone, yes it might bring more information to light... but some people just don't trust anyone other than the CDC. It's their choice but its a losing battle so wtf is the point? Thankfully there is the non-vax board on mothering to make feel feel less like a "tin-hat wearing, conspiracy theorist, paranoid person," and more like a person who is simply making an informed decision about their child's health. 

post #10 of 16

You are NOT alone!!!!  thumbsup.gif

 It's a tough position to be in at the moment.  Nowadays I get,  "I cant believe that outbreak of measles in NY, you gave your little guy all his shots, right?" This conversation usually takes place at work and I can FEEL the eyeballs on me! My response is....I'm waiting a little while.  I lie because I am a wimp!  My fear is if DS "caught" something I will hear "I told you so!" for the next decade. I am LITERALLY the only person at work who is not vax.   

post #11 of 16
I need to know how the non vax moms deal with the pressure of the media and reports about measle and rubella outbreaks. I really try to be strong and stick to my guns. It'll be 1 year that my DS is vax free and I feel good about it! He's feeling great too! Chronic cough he had for 5 months is now gone! Now i read about the outbreaks in NY and Japan.
post #12 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by mama2011 View Post

I need to know how the non vax moms deal with the pressure of the media and reports about measle and rubella outbreaks. I really try to be strong and stick to my guns. It'll be 1 year that my DS is vax free and I feel good about it! He's feeling great too! Chronic cough he had for 5 months is now gone! Now i read about the outbreaks in NY and Japan.

i tune out the media and simply look at the facts of whatever outbreak is occuring and where it is...the ny measles is concentrated in the Jewish population.  Then i think of the fraud Merck is being investigated for in the MMR fraudulent efficacy statistics.  Then i think about how mainstream media plays on fears, and then play that fear to the masses in an effort to get them to comply with pharma's agenda.  I'm not buying into that.  Stay away from mainstream media news.  You will worry a lot less.  Concentrate on the here and now, not 'what ifs'.  Measles outbreak, and you have an unvaxed child?  Research measles, and ways to boost immune system, how to treat it if it does occur, and how a sick body and a healthy body process illness and disease.  

post #13 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by mama2011 View Post

I need to know how the non vax moms deal with the pressure of the media and reports about measle and rubella outbreaks. I really try to be strong and stick to my guns. It'll be 1 year that my DS is vax free and I feel good about it! He's feeling great too! Chronic cough he had for 5 months is now gone! Now i read about the outbreaks in NY and Japan.

Once you get who the media works for (big corporate interests) it is easy to tune them out - I have got to the stage where all it does is elicit a chuckle from me. MSM is essentially corporate/government propaganda, that tells the masses what they want them to be told. If you stay with the alternative media and look closer, you will see that the reporting on things like the measles outbreaks is riddled with lies and tricks to make you afraid and therefore more likely to act in the way the controllers of the media want.

 

Follow along here on this board, as several posters link to interesting articles that counter the biased reporting from the MSM. Also, take it from this more "experienced" mama who has much older completely unvaxed children - there IS a difference between the vaxed and unvaxed. As you child grows, provided you don't let fear (false evidence appearing real) overrule your heart, I am in no doubt you will see the wisdom in your choice to remain vax-free. Of course the challenge that faces us refusers in the future is how to remain non vaxers in the face of ever tightening controls. I think my kids will get through to adulthood unscathed, but I worry about their children.

post #14 of 16
feeling good now!!!!!
post #15 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by emmy526 View Post

i tune out the media and simply look at the facts of whatever outbreak is occuring and where it is...the ny measles is concentrated in the Jewish population.  Then i think of the fraud Merck is being investigated for in the MMR fraudulent efficacy statistics.  Then i think about how mainstream media plays on fears, and then play that fear to the masses in an effort to get them to comply with pharma's agenda.  I'm not buying into that.  Stay away from mainstream media news.  You will worry a lot less.  Concentrate on the here and now, not 'what ifs'.  Measles outbreak, and you have an unvaxed child?  Research measles, and ways to boost immune system, how to treat it if it does occur, and how a sick body and a healthy body process illness and disease.  

 

Hee hee Emmy, we essentially wrote the same post!

 

I am old enough to have had measles and there was no fear attached to them in those days - believe me, my mum is a worrier and if there was she would have been very, very concerned. Measles was becoming extremely mild by the 1950s/1960s (read reports of MDs treating the disease in the late 50s and you will see that), by 1960, statistics actually show that the death rate was 3 in 10 million. You also have to understand that measles, in an epidemic, is way over diagnosed, by as much as 74 times.

 

Irrefutable Evidence Shows Historical Application of Vaccines Had No Health Benefit or Impact on Prevention of Infectious Disease

post #16 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by mama2011 View Post

You are NOT alone!!!!  thumbsup.gif

 It's a tough position to be in at the moment.  Nowadays I get,  "I cant believe that outbreak of measles in NY, you gave your little guy all his shots, right?" This conversation usually takes place at work and I can FEEL the eyeballs on me! My response is....I'm waiting a little while.  I lie because I am a wimp!  My fear is if DS "caught" something I will hear "I told you so!" for the next decade. I am LITERALLY the only person at work who is not vax.   

in that scenario, all you need to do is nod your head, simply smile, and tell them your child has everything he needs...his vax status is NONE of your co workers business. When the topic comes up again, another response is, 'we don't discuss our health decisions outside the family'   And if your son does catch something, most likely he'll get over it with no fanfare, and THEN you can go back and say, 'see, he over came it with no issues because we are healthy and take healthy precautions-now he'll have immunity for life!'

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