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Post Partum Chat Thread

post #1 of 265
Thread Starter 

welcome to the other side, mamas!! congrats!! how are you doing?

 

Things have been going so much better than i expected here.  with such a difficult labor and recovery with DS, i had some looooowww expectations for how things would be this time.  since DD's birth was so fast and easy, recovery has been a breeze.  DH went back to work today after having the first week off, and it's going off almost without a hitch!  It's also obvious to me now that I really did have the PP blues last time.  I have been on cloud nine this time...well, i have had a couple of hormonal incidents, but they have been mild and still don't compare to how things were last time. 

 

DS absolutely adores his sister, and it's so special to watch him admire her.  tandem nursing has been going well....so long as i eat almost constantly.  sleeping is also going much better than expected, although coordinating bedtime is still a little tricky.  DD sleeps so good it's almost unnerving...i wonder if it will stick or get worse....either way, i am super duper lucky that i have been able to sleep as well as i have. 

 

the hardest part has been remembering that i just gave birth about a week ago and that i still need to take it easy.  i'm prone to overdoing it and then crashing.  i'm super annoyed with my MIL right now; we had a entire conversation about me overdoing it and her sympathizing.  So DH asked her to come over this morning to help with breakfast so that I could relax a little, since DS has been super clingy in the morning (that's one of our big cuddle times usually).  When MIL came over, she immediately asked for DD, then let me fend for myself for breakfast.  Then, she asked me to make some for her.  Then, she just stuck DD in the bouncy chair and talked with DS.  I was livid.  She's supposed to come back over this after noon, and I think I'm just going to tell her to forget it. 

 

Oh, and she tried giving DD a pacifier last night...after i said not to.  they were out because ds found them in a bag of baby stuff and he's been playing with them. 

 

meanwhile, a mom from my local mom's group, who lives a good 40 minutes away and just had a baby a few months ago (and has a toddler) offered to come over tomorrow to drop off food and do chores for me.  It's amazing that some people can be so generous and self less and others just don't get it.

 

....And I do just want to say that MIL is great in a lot of ways, but she just drives me nuts in a certain way too.

So most of this thread was a vent for me, but I am curious how others are doing. 

 

So, let's chat!

post #2 of 265

So glad things are going well for you.

 

I keep wanting to type out my birth story, but it just isn't happening. So let me just say it was short. water broke at 11ish and baby arrived at 4ish and at least an hour of that time was spend trying to sleep with no contractions and an hour of sleep with contractions. This was not what I was expecting after last time. I also was NOT expecting my little guy to arrive 2 weeks early. In fact I was pretty set for him to be 2 weeks late. So I"m still dealing with a bit of shock. I was not really ready. I was ready to labor and give birth, but had not done much to prepare mentally for the after part. There were still things I needed to prepare in the house and I feel like I wanted to do more say more to my 3 year old before all of this.

 

So I gotta say I am not coping as well as I would like. My 3 yo is doing pretty well considering. My husband is struggling, but doing a lot. We have a home business and he has been taking our son to work with him giving me time to be with the baby.

 

I don't know what my deal is, but I definitely do not feel that overwhelming joy and love that I did after the birth of my first. I'm not angry or sad all the time, but I feel chewed up. I know this is not the case, but can't help feeling that my life fell apart and I have to pick up all the pieces without being able to cause I'm just too tired and overwhelmed. Taking care of the baby is relatively easy compared to the last time and he does seem to sleep more. Oh I got it, it's like being in limbo or waiting for the other shoe to drop and I just want to be back and in charge of my life again.

post #3 of 265
Thread Starter 

Sorry things are so tough right now, littlegreenlady.  I can see how baby coming so early would throw you off; I don't know what we would have done if DD had come early.  My DD came late, and I am still kind of processing the fact that she is here! It's also taking me longer to bond with this baby than it did with my first....it all still feels a little surreal.  I hope you are able to relax and take care of yourself - I know the feeling of mentally wanting to have things *done* but not being able to do it, and it's really frustrating, but try to focus on the positives - it's this way because you have an amazing baby that you brought into the world.  Focus on self love and love for your family and everything else will fall into place, even if it's not perfect. 

post #4 of 265

thank you! Ya the bonding has been hard. It feels more like mourning the loss of my only child. But I'm sure that twill change with time.

post #5 of 265

Sounds like you are both adjusting well, it can definitely be a challenge for the big sibling sometimes.

My 2 1/2 year old pretty much ignored her for the first few days but yesterday came up and patted her head like it was no big deal. He's saying her name now and telling me to nurse her when she fusses so I think we're on the right track here.

 

Emotionally I'm tossed between feeling guilty I'm not spending time with my toddler, absolute baby bliss, mourning that this is our last one, absolute baby bliss....luxlove.gif   It's an ongoing cycle but I think it's normal to have such crazy ups and downs after birthing, all the pregnancy hormones that make us crazy have to adjust again to non-pregnancy and I think that is why we feel this way.

 

Physically I'm healing fast and trying to take it easy as well as get caught up on house chores. I too overdid it the first day I laid her down for a moment to tackle MT. Laundry. Must pace myself more. Plus my hips are still somewhere in Africa as they are not even close to where they need to be. Makes getting around very difficult sometimes. Things are better this week though, feeling stronger, more energy, less ups and downs, getting more sleep and starting to adjust to life with our newest blessing.

 

Things are starting to fall into a nice rhythm for our family, I hope the same for you ladies. joy.gif

post #6 of 265
Wow, you ladies seem to doing well. I am 8 days pp and finally feeling good. I loved being in the hospital, I was a little sad no one visited, but actually I enjoyed the rest. I didn't want to go home. I hated it the first night I was home. My sweet dh and dd cleaned the whole house. We have no family around so it's just the 5 of us. Dd is 10 and she has been very helpful and so has ds who is 5. I feel so bad cause the hormones made me freak out on them a few times. I would scream so loud at them over nothing. Along with hormones out of control, baby Omar isn't latching on correctly, and I didn't catch it while at the hospital. I wish I had to talk with LC. Now my one nip is torn up and the whole breast is sore.l I cry when I put him on. The worst part I am stuck at home and can't get to a LC! Cause I am not allowed to drive for two weeks. I finally got him on to where I can tolerate it, but I still cringe when I have to feed him. I had one day where I didn't cry out so far, so I guess I am doing better. This nursing thing is killing me cause I nursed. The other two children for two years.

That is my rant for today...still have to writ my birth story. Hopefully soon.

I do just love being with my new baby.
post #7 of 265

That is hard Circle Vortex, when my 3rd didn't latch on correctly, I was thrown for a loop. I had cracked bloody nipples as well. Husband did NOT help by declaring I would just have to pump. I had to refuse her until she would present the correct mouth, usually by screaming, which wasn't fun for either of us. He'll get it, & a good cream will help.

post #8 of 265

circle vortex, hugs mama. I have been fighting with hormones as well, can't tell you how many times I've been mean to the people I love these last 2 weeks (including my 3 year old). I'm starting to come out of it, but it's slow progress and I cry A LOT.

 

I had nursing problems at first as well. Also surprised cause it was crazy easy the first time. I had nasty blisters on both nipples and my baby wasn't getting any milk. A good nipple cream is hep full as well as not wearing a top while your nips heal (if possible) Also and more important LC often do home visits. If there is a LLL group in your area call them and ask about LC that are able to come to you. Otherwise calling the hospital for this info may help as well.

post #9 of 265

Just my 2 cents on really bad sore nipples - if you cannot get baby to latch properly, nipple shields are helpful to help transition. I had to nurse with a nipple shield for my first, when after a week my nipples were bleeding and scabbed and I could NOT fix his latch for the life of me even with the help of a LC. Think he had a top lip frenulum issue that the LC mentioned. 

With my second, I had no problems at all. With my third, I thought I'd have no problems and was unpleasantly surprised to be in the situation of bleeding cracked nipples that made me scream out in pain every time baby latched. Again, I used nipple shields out of necessity because I could NOT fix her latch. I didn't go to an LC, but I feel confident there wasn't anything they could have done for me. I was able to wean her off of them eventually. So, if you get desperate, they can help. My midwife agreed that they don't typically have an effect on supply since baby still has to stimulate and draw from the nipple. It's just a barrier to make sure the latch is right. I never had any supply issues with any of my kids. 

 

I myself have nipple shields ready to go in case I need them. But, hopefully, I won't this time. 

post #10 of 265
Thanks mommas! I did just get breast shield, I have to figure them out. They seem to be healing and today I didn't cring when he latched on. Ha, I didn't cry today either. I even worked out in the garden. I have been using a lot of essential oils to help me. In use frankincense nd a blend called joy, which has rose in it. They really help me.

Now if this little man will understand that there is no all night party and we flip our days/ nights to the right schedule, I will be good to go.

I love my little monkey man.

Glad to hear I am not alone with these crazy hormones.

Hope you all are doing well .
post #11 of 265
Thread Starter 
I second the essential oils to help improve mood, I. Had the blues after my son was born, and floral scents really make me happy, so i stalked up on a bunch of scented things to help give me a boost. It definitely works.

I'm starting to have a harder time now, the "honeymoon" phase is over. I don't have nearly the right kind of support around, and I am feeling much more run down now than I was. My post partum bleeding keeps getting heavier when I do too much, but most of my "support" isn't really doing anything to help, despite me asking for help with specific chores. My FIL is up visiting, and thinks that since he doesn't visit much that its his time to bond, and wants to come over all the time. But again, he wants to hold the baby and have me wait on him. I'm finding myself starting to become mean because I'm just getting exhausted. Thank goodness my mom has been by a couple of times to actually help, but she took most of her vacation time to watch over DS when we had the baby.

Dh went back to work when DD was a week old, taking a midweek day off to break up the weeks. Today was my first outing with both kids for DD's two week appointment, and it was a disaster. So I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. Hoping that a little bit of sleep makes things better....
post #12 of 265

Oh BabySmurf, sorry to hear your outing was a disaster! It will get better I promise, just hang in there thumb.gif

 

Trillium's maiden voyage was a fathers day picnic, she slept almost the entire time but got over heated since it was warmer outside then I'd anticipated. Now she's got this lovely heat rash. irked.gif

 

I'm not worried though, I know a little nakey time to air/dry out will help those little sweat glands recover.winky.gif

 

 

Any of you ladies have trouble with your babies getting Jaundice? (or 'pumpkin baby' syndrome as we call it? lol.gif)

post #13 of 265

Sorry I've been off the radar since the baby came! I am really thankful for this thread because I was having major baby blues (crying and weeping a lot about all kinds of things, joys and upsets) and one of the things I was sad about was that this pregnancy/birth journey is over... and it was empowering and healing. But now the much less straight-forward long haul of life with two children begins. My first week was easy because the baby slept at night... though my other daughter was having some emotional upsets, which was painful for all of us. Now the baby is proving to be, dare I say it, colicky in the evenings and nights.

 

And a couple of days ago I guess I overdid it and dislodged a clot from my uterus and had suddenly a lot of bleeding and pain. Now I'm 2 weeks pp and bleeding and in pain if I walk around much. Midwife prescribed strong RRL tea and rest. I had been doing so well! It's pretty impossible to just rest. And that's with my husband still at home and our community generously feeding us almost every meal. Tomorrow he goes back to work, but thank goodness MIL just arrived to help for 3 weeks. I feel really overwhelmed at the notion of doing it all myself when she leaves, but I'll delay thinking about it too much.
 

Overall the hardest thing so far is getting used to a new way of interacting with my first daughter. Having this new baby makes me realize in a new way that my first daughter is already growing up. So fast! Someday sooner than I'd imagined she'll be an adult and out of the house and out of my hands. I love her so much and I hope it shows even with this new little baby in my arms (tears tears tears.)

post #14 of 265

hug2.gif's Mama. It's a tough rollercoaster but your emotions/hormones will even out, things will get easier and you'll feel in control of your life again.

Just rest as much as you can, be gentle with yourself as you adjust emotionally and enjoy the little miracle you brought earth side! joy.gif

post #15 of 265
Quote:
Originally Posted by BumkinsMum View Post

hug2.gif 's Mama. It's a tough rollercoaster but your emotions/hormones will even out, things will get easier and you'll feel in control of your life again.
Just rest as much as you can, be gentle with yourself as you adjust emotionally and enjoy the little miracle you brought earth side! joy.gif

Just what I needed to hear!
post #16 of 265
Anyone taking placenta pills? Just wondering if that had any effect on mood or anything else. I have mine and took 1 on 3 different occasions since this is new for me I don't want too much at once. I also wonder if they will help me feel less tired. I'm doing ok just physically exhausted and my 3 y/o is driving me nuts, seriously, I know she's been the baby for 3+ years but she's wearing me out greensad.gif and I feel bad even admitting that.
post #17 of 265
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tenk View Post

Anyone taking placenta pills? Just wondering if that had any effect on mood or anything else. I have mine and took 1 on 3 different occasions since this is new for me I don't want too much at once. I also wonder if they will help me feel less tired. I'm doing ok just physically exhausted and my 3 y/o is driving me nuts, seriously, I know she's been the baby for 3+ years but she's wearing me out greensad.gif and I feel bad even admitting that.


I'm curious about this too...It wouldn't apply to me unless we had another baby, but I know what you mean, Tenk, my two and a half year old is definitely wearing me out more than the baby is; not that he's being bad, but he's just a handful!

post #18 of 265

yes, I think they help with my energy and healing. I take Motherwort  tincture for state of mind. 

 

Tenk the woman that encapsulated mine said the dosage was 2 caps three times a day. I think I did that once then did 2 times a day for a few days and am now just taking the 2 caps once a day. Do not take it if you get a cold or have mastitis (there was more but can't remember at the moment)

post #19 of 265
Thread Starter 

Anyone else tandem nursing? how is it going for you?

post #20 of 265

My 2 1/2yr old self weaned while I was pregnant but has come back for a snack once or twice. Not super interested anymore now that he's a "big boy" happytears.gif

Yesterday when he was done I asked if he wanted more and he told me "For baby now, I have plenty" He's never used the word plenty before but he used it correctly. Ya!

Pretty cute though. Where did my little baby boy go?shrug.gif
 

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