Our family is really struggling because of our 5 yr old DD's behavior. DH and I are really stressed by it and it's a constant issue in our house but I'm feeling pretty lost in how to handle her awful behavior. The gentle approach we've used hasn't work, nor does yelling, nor does it help to take her toys away. I can tell that she's hurting but I need some suggestions, please.
DD is a strong-willed girl and normal discipline has never worked with her. But lately things have escalated and her behavior has gotten pretty terrible. She yells at us, at her little brother, her grandparents, etc. She can be so incredibly disrespectful and downright bratty. DD talks snotty to us in our home and out. I've steered away from play dates because I hate to have our friends see her behave this way for fear that it'll affect long-term relationships.
Here are just a few examples of what happens daily, and keep in mind, these are MILD examples. The yelling at us is much more upsetting and worrisome, but I don't have examples off the top of my head.
Me: "DD, we've really enjoyed our reading time but now we need to put our books back on our shelf."
Me: Now getting firm with her because I'm just so dang tired of this behavior, "DD, it's not okay for you to talk to me that way. Please help clean-up your books."
DD: With snotty disregard, "Nope, not going to."
Finally, solution is me raising my voice with her and counting to 5 at which point she does help pick-up, but not without plenty of sassiness.
DD: "Go get me a hair ribbon."
Me: "Um, you need to try that again, please."
DD: With total snotty voice..."PLEASE, go get a hair ribbon."
Me: "You said please but you need to ask it in way that is respectful."
This goes on for a bit and finally she'll ask it in a somewhat nicer way and I'll get her ribbon.
DH and I are constantly saying, "How could you say that differently?" "Please try that again." "That's very disrespectful, we don't talk that way in our family." etc. etc. etc...NO AFFECT on her!
Also, she has a terrible time sharing with her brother (and often friends). She yells if brother comes in her room, she won't share any books or toys with him and even is possessive over library books. I really feel like sharing should no longer be an issue...she's FIVE...this seems abnormal. What are your thoughts? I'm tired of this.