I know this website is not exactly the one screaming for more elective cesareans, but I also know several women here can also be more informed than other sites and can drop their ideological judgment. So, I want to give it a shot, anyways:
I want to plan a cesarean for the birth of my next child. I have several reasons for this,have researched the risks very carefully as they apply to my situation, and have extensive reasons to believe that this is also the safest and healthiest option for the baby and myself. I am particularly sensitive to vaginal birth trauma; what one woman might accept as tolerable might terrify me. My instincts are telling me not to attempt vaginal again birth if possible; I prepared as much as possible last time and the experience made me not want to get pregnant again. This pregnancy was unplanned or else I would have resolved it all beforehand!
My current ob is not very supportive and has downplayed my concerns and reasons for wanting cesarean. I asked him to refer me to somebody for counselling birth trauma, he didn't. I told him I have enough pelvic floor injury, nerve damage, and perineum damage that I don't want to go through labor again; he downplayed it and said the damage was done from the first pregnancy and that my labor was not what caused the damage. This is simply not true. I am terrified of ever having to go through a forceps delivery, having severe tearing, or having another episiotomy. He said there is no way to promise that won't happen. I told him if I was going to do another natural birth that I would try to do so at home, and he insisted that isn't safe (and in my case, might not be).
Finally he sighed and said if I wanted a c-section he didn't care as long as my insurance paid for it since it would be elective. I checked and it isn't covered. Now I'm really worried because I'm 26 weeks pregnant and do not want to go through the added stress of either looking for a different doctor or seeing if there is a midwife where I live that thinks I'm a candidate for home birth. Note: I am not interested in a "birthing center"; I could not possibly relax in one. If I"m not going to birth in my own home, I WANT my birth to be medicalized and controlled. I know people who have had planned cesareans and regret is just very rare and nothing like emergency related ones.
I don't believe therapy for birth trauma is going to change my mind about wanting a c-section, but now my concern is that even if I pay out of pocket, I am paying a jaded and somewhat misinformed doctor to do me what honor?
I think it is sad that doctors are under pressure to do things based on the politics and ideologies of others, just as much as I think it's a travesty that women are coerced into emergency c-sections and needless interventions for convenience and profiteering of others. It's the flip side of the same coin.
I just started crying today after getting off the phone with my insurance company. Any non-judgmental, non-assuming suggestions are appreciated. I'm in west central florida and looking around.