Can anyone suggest good reading material for parenting a child with this background?
How do you talk to them about why they are living with you? What about why they can't go home? How do you deal with the teen years without having the relationship of the toddler years? This little guy is just 4, but 4 is a lot of time to see a lot. (I don't know exactly what we'll be dealing with, as I am not privy to that info at this point.)
Ftr, I am not a foster to adopt parent, nor have I done any classes. Actually, in our state, I can't foster because we already have 5 children in our home. We aren't even sure the state will allow us to adopt him for the same reasons. Before we get really involved in the process, I just feel we need some help thinking things through.
I'm very much a "working with" type of parent, and intend to assure him that I will help him find them as soon as I am allowed. That it won't be until he is a grown up, but that I know how much his mama loved him, and he loved his mama. (He talks about her a lot, and talks about going home.) I don't want to vilify them, but rather teach him to see them as people who need people just as much as the rest of us do. Is this a bad plan?
I'm willing to listen to anything and everything anyone has to offer about raising this little boy. I have 5 children, but this is totally new territory, and, before I commit, I want to be sure we are truly best for him.