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post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 

Hi everyone. I am 40 years old and my hubby is gonna be 45 in a month. We have 4 boys ages 11 on down to almost 5yo. Hubby had a vasectomy after 4th baby. But, has been angry at me about it. He wanted another, but I was 35 when our last one was born. That was the age I gave myself. Well, since then he has been talking and talking about another baby. So I finally said ok. let's try. But he would have to find a doc to reverse his vasectomy. I guess my question is what is it like to be an older mom with older kids and then try to concieve for another, especially a 5th baby. My biggest fears are energy. Will I have enough energy for the older 4 boys and then a baby? Sleep? I really like that I can sleep through the night and in in the morning.And finally what if it's a GIRL!! ;) I am pretty happy with all boys. What would I do with a girl?! Please no bashing. I know that if we did have a girl I would do just fine and love her so much. It's just so many changes!! TIA!!

post #2 of 8

Hm. I'm not sure you really want to do this. But then again I had a lot of fears about having a second, but it turned out to be the perfect choice. Now dh and I are in complete agreement that we're done. I don't know what I'd do if he wanted more! Well, I think I would tell him to go volunteer at the preschool or something. :)

 

I was 37 and 40 when mine were born, and I wouldn't say my energy level is a problem. But then I don't have 4 already, and I am a pretty poor housekeeper and not great at lots of things I think moms are supposed to do, like sending snacks to school regularly, volunteering for the PTO, etc. If I expected of myself all the stuff my mom did, 2 would be too many.

post #3 of 8
Thread Starter 

Thank you!! We unschool so the 4 older ones would not be much of a problem. :) At least I think so now. Volunteering at a preschool or daycare may be a good idea!! ;) 

post #4 of 8

Hi!  I have 4 kids from a previous relationship (ages 20, 17, 15 and 12), am 43, and just had a new baby in April.  I was a SAHM with the first four.  I now work part time (housecleaning, gardening), and I bring the baby with me.  In a lot of ways this has been an easier recovery than with my other kids.  I'm fairly active (ran/walked throughout the pregnancy), and I'm doing wonderfully!

 

It has been SO MUCH FUN having a new baby again.  I like my sleep too, but we co-sleep and that has worked beautifully.  My older kids love their little brother and help a lot.  He's my partner's first child, and my partner is very involved.  

 

:)

post #5 of 8

I am 43 - i have an 18 DD and 15 yr old DS from a previous marriage - i worked like a dog while those two were young- my XDH was completely useless.  I got re-married to my current DH in 2007 and had our new DS in 2010.  I was 1 month from 41 when he was born.  It was great having the older two around - they arent always that good with the baby - but its nice to have someone else around who can drive and run errands!  - Although having to cart the baby to 3 separate road tests with my daughter was not so easy! 

i do feel like my age has 'caught up to me'  but then again, i am quite overweight and that does not help my energy level! 

i am a SAHM for the first  time and i am enjoying taking advantage of that!  I am still nursing - he'll be 3 in two months.  For me, its great to be able to spend so much time with this child - which i completely missed out on with my earlier two.  Plus, having a new husband - who - was a far better parent to my two older kids than even me sometimes - i KNEW he would be a great Dad - He was quite reluctant at first - i got pregnant accidentally, but i had been wanting to get pregnant for a few years prior to my happy accident.  

It was an experience that, although he was reluctant at first, i didnt want him to miss.

I think the hardest thing to get used to again is the demands on my time....for example - reading this thread and replying to it has taken me 67 minutes so far.....and thats WITH the use of cartoons! 

my biggest worry is how life will be when this DS is a teenager - the older two will be gone (i assume!) an it will be me and DH - in our late 50's - and this young teenager - i think that age may be harder to deal with than the 'early years'

good luck with your decision!

post #6 of 8

I would say it is very subjective! I had my last one at 43, he's 5 now and I have a friend a year younger than me who has a grand DD and it is like night and day between us!!

 

Energy is not an issue for me - it's a major issue for her, she parents the child part time. She gets very "stressed out" and seems to be dealing with issues I am not at all bothered by. Some even OLD moms/grand ma can parent young children (and successfully), some simply can't even when they are NOT dealing with the effects of a pregnancy, birth, PP, etc

 

When my other child (a DD almost 30) was younger, she had a friend who was being raised by her grand-mother - that now 70+ grand mom just got her masters! she's got tons of energy!!

 

I think sooooooo much is how you view yourself and what you physical condition is prior to getting pregnant - just my opinion. 

 

I know this is just an "old wives tale" (my OLD MALE OB told me this) but if you had no trouble getting pregnant at an older age, you will have no problems dealing, if you tried and tried, you body is telling you something and you should listen.

post #7 of 8
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by serenbat View Post

I would say it is very subjective! I had my last one at 43, he's 5 now and I have a friend a year younger than me who has a grand DD and it is like night and day between us!!

 

Energy is not an issue for me - it's a major issue for her, she parents the child part time. She gets very "stressed out" and seems to be dealing with issues I am not at all bothered by. Some even OLD moms/grand ma can parent young children (and successfully), some simply can't even when they are NOT dealing with the effects of a pregnancy, birth, PP, etc

 

When my other child (a DD almost 30) was younger, she had a friend who was being raised by her grand-mother - that now 70+ grand mom just got her masters! she's got tons of energy!!

 

I think sooooooo much is how you view yourself and what you physical condition is prior to getting pregnant - just my opinion. 

 

I know this is just an "old wives tale" (my OLD MALE OB told me this) but if you had no trouble getting pregnant at an older age, you will have no problems dealing, if you tried and tried, you body is telling you something and you should listen.

Makes so much sense. :) I am in pretty good shape. I think I miss being pregnant. All my pregnancies were uneventful in regards to any health problems. My last was a home water birth. I would do that again.:) 

 

post #8 of 8
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by motherhendoula View Post

my biggest worry is how life will be when this DS is a teenager - the older two will be gone (i assume!) an it will be me and DH - in our late 50's - and this young teenager - i think that age may be harder to deal with than the 'early years'

good luck with your decision!

Something to think about as well. :)

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