Oh please, help. I love all my children with all my heart. I try my best to be patient, loving, calm. I don't want to spank, or yell, or use time out; I know these methods all have their negative effects. I want to be the wonderful mom who can peacefully parent her children through tough times, and come out the other side with everyone happy and well-adjusted. HA!
My 4yo DS has been pushing me constantly to the point of "mommy meltdown" - where I totally lose it. He's been demanding, yelling, bullying, spitting, punching, clawing, freaking out with screaming kicking meltdowns, saying he hates me (when all I tried to do was bathe him, or give him water, or hug him).
I can't figure out what his deal is, or why he has so much anger. The boys and I are celiac, intolerant to dairy, soy, corn, and salicylates...DD is dairy & salicylates. The sals are the only one we've been letting slide, but keeping all the kids away from them entirely is near impossible. His meltdowns are definitely better on the diet, but that's only one piece of the puzzle. It seems to have gotten worse since he broke his arm and had to have surgery last November...our naturopath thinks his GABA receptors are freaked out from the trauma or something, suggested GABA supplements, to no avail.
Nothing seems to work with him. DH says I baby him too much and "kiss his butt" when I try to understand what is setting him off and deal with it patiently, instead of just a firm reprimand. It seems like he's craving connection, but he gets a ton of positive attention, and if I try to hug him when he's nearing a meltdown he completely freaks out. Time-outs don't work in the long term, neither does any other form of discipline..."gentle" methods, "positive parenting", authoritarian was the worst...we've tried everything we can think of.
Now his 2yo sister is picking up on his behavior. Combine this with 7yo DS, aka Mr. Smart-@$$, and I am ready to hide in a closet for fear I'll lose it with them all...I'm picturing Mommy Dearest. I don't want to play mommy anymore!!! I feel like a total failure of a mother, and I can't figure out what to do differently. Sigh.