DSS case, Neglect and exclusive breastfeeding of a 9 month old - Page 2

[paloma]

sntm, thanks! Medline is good for not havin' the whole article.
Velcro, I'm sendin' the link to my lawyer!

[comet]

Also just wanted to add that if you are getting divorced, do whatever you can to push the proceedings along. In other words - get divorced asap. Otherwise, your child bfing will continue to be used as a tool. And a bfing 9month old is not looked down by the courts nearly as often as bfing a 20 month old, or a 30 month old, kwim? You don't want to be in the position of them forcing you to wean just so you can keep custody. Right now you have the AAP on your side. Once you get past a year, though, your support from teh legal system will all but vanish. If you divorce now, things will likely be set in stone for at least 2 yrs (for most states), giving your much more freedom to bf how you like.

Also, why are you holding out on giving her/him solids? Do you have a medical reason? Try to take this issue away from them. Say that you are offering solids. Find something to offer. You'll find a lot of support that the legal eagles will believe, in offering only one new food at a time. You could drag this out for a few months while you get the divorce through in the meantime. Allow others, like your husband, to offer certain solids. I know this is not what you want to hear, but I really think that damage control is the issue right now. Not vax'ing is a more difficult issue.

You are dealing with people (lawyers & judges) who are making a decision between two parents for what *they* think is better for a particular child. They are very likely not going to change their mind bcs you educated them in the courtroom setting.

Speaking from experience here, unfortunately. Think of what you are fighting for - not to change their mind or educate them, but to win the right to make these and other decisions for your child. Get that right legally asap, by getting divorced asap.

hth - I'm not trying to make problems, but to save yourself much, much grief over the next year.

[paloma]

[mamacrab]

I am so sorry to say that the lawyer you are discussing, Liz Baldwin, passed away last year! She was a wonderful advocate for mama-and-baby-togetherness.

Do contact LLL though- all leaders have access to a Legal Liason who sould be able to hook you up with necessary references, contacts, etc.

[paloma]

[wombat]

I think Ms Baldwin died last year. I think it was her, the lawyer who was defending those extended BF cases? Anyone else know for sure.

I remember reading some of her articles online - there's good info in there re extended BF and the law. Don't have any links but you could search for her name.

[wombat]

I forgot to mention this site:
http://www.breastfeedingtaskforla.org/index.htm

They have a great overview of the BF research literature here:
http://www.paho.org/English/HPP/HPN/Benefits_of_BF.htm

It does have mention of research about extended BF and allergies, you gotta wade through it though. It might also be useful to your lawyer, in that it provides comments and criticisms about research design - i.e. where no association was found in some studies b/w BF and obesity for example, they show how the design was at fault and the result is not useful. You know if your ex is trying to say BF isn't that important, he may try to use some of these flawed research studies.

[ldsapmom]

Yes, Liz did pass away last year -- it was a great loss. I linked to some of her articles in post #3. Yes, LLL Leaders can provide you with more legal info. If you don't get help from one, try another.

[paloma]

Wombat, you are a gem!! I wil look through the links later in the week, and compile, compile, compile for the lawyer.

My lawyer spoke with the accusing social worker at DSS, and he said that the soc. worker was very nervous on the tel. and did not want to speak w/ him, "she couldn't get off the phone fast enough." I hope they think that they overstepped their bounds. My lawyer thinks they will revisit the case.


: (I hope to soon come out from under my chair, I wake up in the A. M. feeling like a criminal.)

[mommy2three]

I'm so sorry that you're going through this!!!!

My law is a bit messy since I haven't been in law school for almost 5 years (and I've been a stay-at-home mama since so I'm by no means practicing and haven't yet) but I know there was a case years ago about a woman who was exclusevely nursing her 2.5 year old and not allowing ANY other foods. The child was malnursished because of this... I can't remember the case number but if they try to use this case against you it's rediculous because there's a big difference between a 9 month old and almost 3 year old... (I'll look up the case to give you more specifics just in case they try to use that against you...)

That said, if your child is a healthy weight for her age then you should be able to nurse for as long as you and your baby need. (I exclusevely nused my last for a year and still nurse although he eats food as well- although limited food because he's alergic to everything). However, unfortunetly, the courts may give you trouble because it seems to me (correct me if I'm wrong) that you're in-laws are trying to use the baby as a tool to get back at you.

I don't have any real advice for you but send lots of hugs!!!! I'll go look some stuff up for you in my law books and La Leche books and see what I can find and PM you if I find anything useful. Good luck!!!!! You're a great mama!

[NoraB]

I have no advice, but want to offer you lots of (((HUGS))). I can't even imagine what you must be going through right now. I am so sorry.

[paloma]

[wombat]

Originally Posted by paloma

the judge looked at me funny and asked if my then 2 y.o. has the ability to drink out of a bottle or cup (as opposed to just a "booboo.") That poor guy looked so dumbfounded!

So the judge thinks that by BF you're sheltering your baby too much? Judges always seem to ask the most stupid questions. If you take the mainstream view of weaning and promoting indepedence in our culture and then the social welfare/social work/psychology background of CPS and family court judges, there's a tendency for them to see every mother as trying to emotionally cripple her children!

[milk4two]

So sorry you're dealing with this! Dr. Jay Gordon is a proponent of extended breastfeeding and an awesome all around physician. It may be worth seeing if he can point you in the right direction of supporting info.

[paloma]

[guestmama9924]

Originally Posted by velcromom

Hmmm, guess that link is dead. Try this:

'Ms. Baldwin, the nation’s expert on breastfeeding and the law, is available to serve as an expert witness in family law cases regarding breastfeeding, attachment-style parenting, and other related parenting issues.'
http://www.compromisesolutions.com/

She may be a good contact for your attorney.

Liz Baldwin died last year, sadly! Here law firm in Miami is still there and I am sure they can refer as needed. I have refered many mothers to her firm , and when alive, she always helped and was a true blessing.

[guestmama9924]

sorry! I did not see page 2 when I replied. Still figuring the new layout out!

[paloma]

Funny. DSS refuses to give me my "neglect report" in any less than 30 days. When I have asked in the past (for reports of supported allegations against my husband) my request was expedited for no reason.

[Mamid]

It took almost 6 months for me to get mine. And I didn't get it all. Missing at least a dozen pages that were censored because they would be detrimental to a third party (who? me? my mother? bah.) and anything about the "new" case against me when I had the visit by them about my son.

Wanna watch me get furious? Just let me read any of those pages.

[Satori]

My dd was exclusively BF till 17 months (dd would act like you were trying to kill her if you offered food and w/ good reason we found out!) and even then only tastes of foods on occasion till she was almost 3 YEARS old. It was so freakin stressful and got worse when CPS stepped in to investigate because of a jerk Dr who was NOT friendly to families of special needs children saw my dd for a few seconds and decided I must be mentally ill. Thank god I had a butt load of Dr's on my side and medical reports to back me up. One of the issues we were/are dealing with are extensive allergies and time and time again we were told not to start solids till at least 1 year of age. There are quite a few references over at the kelly mom site http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/so...ay-solids.html