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Mothering › Groups › September 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › Will you tell anyone that you're in labor?

Will you tell anyone that you're in labor?

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 

Who all will know that you're in labor, when the time comes?

 

Do you have any close family or friends who you'll notify you're in labor, or do you plan to announce everything once baby is born? We have never told family or friends until the baby has arrived, and I don't post labor updates on facebook. I just go inward when I'm in labor and get the job done.

 

If I labored during the day and it was longer than my 2 hour freight train, I might consider texting a couple good friends who would be prayerful and respectful of space to let them know things started. I'd contact one for sure if I needed her to pick my kids up.

 

My DH is a pastor, so I'm amused at the potential scenario of me going into labor on a Saturday night and him not being able to show up at church....everyone will know then, whether or not I would have wanted them to know! And we live right across the street from the church, LOL. Thankfully, I know people will respect our privacy. 

 

What about you, have you thought this far ahead yet?

 

ETA: my mom will hopefully be at our house for the birth this time, so she will probably alert my dad, which is fine with me


Edited by CookAMH - 6/22/13 at 8:45pm
post #2 of 20

I don't really want to tell anyone either so we're not going to. If I go into labour in the evening/night and we called my husband's parents to let them know, I know for sure that my mother in law would be absolutely unable to sleep all night out of excitement and knowing that would bother me. We'll just call them after the baby is born.

post #3 of 20

I definitely don't announce to the world (e.g., facebook) until after the fact, but I called my mother the first time because I was supposed to, as she and my dad were coming to stay and help us after the birth and had an 18-hour drive to get there. I actually left it too late! My dad was at a graduation ceremony or prom or something (he was a VP of a high school, and this was almost exactly six years ago), so my poor mom was driven crazy waiting a few hours for him to get home so they could head out. They also decided to sleep a bit first, since it was nighttime, so didn't end up getting there until he was about twenty hours old.

 

The second time, Mom was already staying with us to look after my older son, so I don't think we called anyone during labor (I think she called my dad who called my sister, though)... I was PLANNING to call my close friend because she was going to come and take some pictures for us, but in the end, I waited too long again and she was out to a barbeque so I couldn't get a hold of her before he arrived. I'm a bit sad about that,since it would have been pretty cool to have some labor and birth photos and that was my one chance to have them done by someone close who wouldn't feel like an intruder in my space. But, that's life! I did get my husband to grab the camera and we managed to get a shot of me and him still int eh birthing pool. It was blurry, but I still love it. 

 

Anyway, for everyone else, we call the close family members right after birth (well, my husband and mom have in the past) and then I announced to the world a few hours later, once I was cleaned up and ready to be on a computer again. winky.gif I'm sure it will go in a similar fashion this time.

post #4 of 20
Thread Starter 

So having this post on my mind after posting it, I told my mom that she can tell my dad when I'm in labor, if she wants, since she'll be up at our house. She was like, I thought you were having me come WHEN you go into labor and then I'm (my mom) am thinking I will probably miss the birth (she's four hours away and that's very possible).  And so we had to rehash all the details she completely missed about me inviting her to come around 38.5w so she could be at our home birth, since I went into labor at 39w with both kids. I tell ya, she hears what she wants to sometime, and it's good this came up tonight! 
 

post #5 of 20

We don't really.  Actually, not really on purpose.  The last three we had no warning and no time.  I'm okay with that this time around, too.  Plus, I don't really like other peoples expectations hanging over me.  We'll tell my mom, who will be watching the kids, and that's about it.  She'll probably leak it to a few relatives, but that's okay.
 

post #6 of 20
Ill tell my mom since she will be watching the kids and then we will tell my fiancé's parents if their is time. Last labor was over and done before we had time to call anyone but the midwife and my mom to watch my oldest. orngtongue.gif Hours later we will get around to telling the world.
post #7 of 20

This is definitely one of the reasons I wish dh and I were comfortable with a home birth.  But after a c-section with my first, preceeded by a very long labor and a very long labor with my second, we're not confident in a home birth.  So, yes, my parents and dh's mother will be informed solely so they can watch the children :/  I wish we could just surprise everyone and announce the birth!

post #8 of 20

This time we won't be telling anyone. We told a bunch of family last time and DH's family kept calling asking if the baby had been born. It was very stressful for me. He's not allowed near a phone, or two even have his on this time! We will have to tell my mom since she will be watching DD and she will probably tell my dad to let him know where she will be going. So aside from that, plus midwife & doula, nope not telling anyone! 

post #9 of 20

I'd rather not tell anyone - we'll see how that works out depending on how long labor takes.

post #10 of 20

I don't plan on telling anyone, unless I need them for kid care (so, basically, my dad, if DS needs to leave the home birth scenario, or we transfer).  I just really don't want anyone knowing or pestering until we announce the birth itself once we're ready (last time, it was about 12 hours post birth that we made the calls, although DH's parents knew I was in labor because they came to pick up the dog). 

post #11 of 20

Last time, people were all, you're going to text me when you go into labour, right? Nope, you guys can watch facebook. I'll post something there. I'm not going to spend my time in early labour texting 20 people to tell them I'm in labour. I have better things to do and some screaming to get done. Same thing this time.

 

Although this has made me fondly remember the facebook birth announcement and accompanying baby picture: Taken when she was 15 minutes old.

.

post #12 of 20
Thread Starter 

One option I kind of like, should I decide to tell some friends, is to make a very small facebook friends list group, and I can post an update to that. Say I pick my 10 closest on there, I'd post to them and only they'd see it. Hmm. We'll see. It might be fast enough again there will be no time, or it might be the middle of the night.

 

Doing the announcement of the birth with a pic later on is so fun though, seeing all the comments come in! I love facebook for that. There are many friends and relatives we have from back home and around the country that aren't here, so it's fun.

post #13 of 20

Like other PP's have mentioned, I only tell those who are doing childcare for my other kids.  And the folks that live in my house, which are DH and my mom.  Everyone else can rejoice when I post a post-birth photo onto Facebook.

 

I tell my doula clients that if you tell the world, you WILL feel like an egg timer from someone.  If you tell your friends or extended family, at least one of them WILL contact you periodically throughout labor - it's human nature and I don't disrespect that.  But if being able to focus on something other than your phone or Facebook sending you vibrating buzzes every 30 minutes is important, then keep it to yourself as much as possible!

post #14 of 20

I'm planning to (send out to far away close friends and) hand out at my shower matching pretty votive candles that I will ask everyone to light and think of me when I go into labor.  When I go into labor I'll send out a message to all the ladies who love me to light it up and say a blessing!

post #15 of 20

I was thinking about putting my dad on announcement duty.  We are going to have the baby at my parents' house, but my dad will probably go out or hang out in his studio while I'm in labor and just come to meet the baby once he is born.  So I think I will give him a list of the key people (best friends and family) that we want informed and updated and have him text or email them.  I had originally figured we would let people close to us know when I went into labor and then once the baby was born.  Now I'm wondering if we should just have him notify them right after the baby is born.  For the broader public, I think I will post something on FB and send out a mass email once he's born and we've had a little time and I've rested some.  Everyone here is making us promise to let them know and send pictures ASAP.

post #16 of 20

haven't thought about it so far, but i think i'd like DF to email a few people - close family and friends. friends of ours sent out an email last year when they were going into labor and i liked that.. it gave us the chance to think of them and send good energies, and i would like the same when it's my turn :) 

post #17 of 20
This is actually a pretty delicate subject for me at the moment. At the very least, we will be telling DF's mom, my best friend, my SIL, and possibly my XH and his parents. My two older girls will be there, so if they're with their dad-or really his parents because they're the ones who usually care for the kids during his weekends with them-then I'll need to coordinate with them to get the girls. Also, more than likely XH's parents and/or aunts will be helping out watching the younger two kids during the labor and birth, as well as all of them while I'm in the hospital following the birth. They're all pretty awesome when it comes to helping care for the kids and helping me with childcare despite our divorce. XH is a complete lame-o, though.

Whether or not I call my mom and sister right away is still up for debate. They will both expect to be present for the birth, but there's been ongoing tension and drama with them that makes me feel like I would prefer them not be there-but that will also make things exponentially worse than they already are. I didn't have them at my 3rd child's birth because my niece (daughter and granddaughter) was sick and running a 103 fever and I didn't want them exposing me, mine, or my newborn to whatever it was. I was made to be the jerk of the situation and was guilted about it for ages after. I have kind of reached the place where instead of feeling like family is family no matter what, that its ok to distance myself from anyone who hurts me or causes pain-regardless of how they are related to me. Of course that may change over the next few months before labor and I could feel completely different, but I highly doubt it. (Sorry for kind of going off on a tangent.)

I will probably shoot off a text to my dad, letting him know what's up, but he also isn't one to intrude and will just want to know when to show up afterward.

I may say something on fb, but it all depends on my mood at the time and how things go.
post #18 of 20

They sound ridiculous.  Clearly a woman giving birth has every right to want to have a 'no infectious diseases' policy at the door and minimize risk of exposing a brand new baby to a nasty strain of whatever fever-causing illness it was.  That's so justified, that I'd not be able to stand by and listen to any sort of attempted guilt trips about it after, but then again I am not the turn the other cheek kind, I may be slightly too belligerent.  redface.gif

post #19 of 20

man.. it's so strange how much trouble family or the lack thereof can give us. while some of you guys have trouble getting some space from relatives.. i'm here wishing, hoping SOMEONE will come and visit after the baby is born! i talked to a doula yesterday and she asked, "who's gonna be at your birth?" and i said, "my DF. well.. and if we get a doula, then she would be there too." i wouldn't WANT anyone else there DURING the whole thing either, but i'm a little scared that i might end up staying in hospital for two days without getting ANY visitors!!!!!

post #20 of 20
I should lend you all my inlaws. When I mentioned, before anyone asked even, that I'd like it to be just Greg and I (and the birth attendants) there at this birth, all I got was, "of course! We'd love to be there if you wanted but we understand that this is a special moment for you and Greg so we understand." And that was the end of it.
They're very enthusiastic and a bit overwhelming at times but they've got a good sense of boundaries.
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