I planned to move out this weekend from STBX's and my house (house is only in his name, we are not married, I did live there with him for ~7+ years) He freaked out the day before I was going to get the rest of my things and nearly all of the children's things (toys, clothes, etc.) because he feels like I took things without his permission (apparently he thought we agreed to go room by room so he could approve every single item I took, whereas I thought we agreed to go through the kids room together so we could divvy up the books, clothes, toys fairly)
Friday night, he called his oldest daughter's (my stepdaughter) mom to come pick her up early from what was supposed to be his weekend because things were going to be "so bad" at our house because he was so angry. (he has never been physically violent, but is a pro at toying with me emotionally) I refused to return to the house and was able to move into my new place a couple of days early, where I did already have beds set up for the kids, plus some basic supplies, but again no toys or clothes for kid besides the backup outfit and a couple of things laying around in the car.
He told me he called the cops to get me arrested for stealing from the house and "filed" something, never heard from the cops obviously. He claims he changed the locks that night and then took off for the weekend. I have had to go out and buy literally underwear for my daughter, plus PJs and clothes, toothpaste, etc. ,all of which I could not at all afford, because he is refusing to give me any of our things until I provide him with a list of everything I took out of the house.
Essentially, he is holding our things hostage because he didn't have complete control of the situation. He doesn't care that the kids don't have their things, doesn't care that they don't understand why we can't go get our things. He actually told me that I was the one who would look bad in this situation (in court, to the kids,) because I "broke our agreement" and continues to blame the whole situation on me.
What can I do if he refuses to let me get our things? Is there any legal recourse? As I said, the house is solely in his name, but it has been my permanent address for 7 years (and still is, I haven't changed it yet officially.) I don't want to give him any ammunition by going into the house behind his back, but I also need to get our possessions. I do not at all have the financial ability to replace everything, or even some of it really.
And how will this affect custody? Am I going to look bad if I don't let him have the kids alone while he is acting this way (not as a way to make him return my things, but because I am seriously concerned about his mental state right now-if he is unwilling to let me have the kids things, is he planning on keeping the kids themselves should he get them in his sole care? I never thought I had to worry about that, but I seriously don't know right now given the way he is acting.
I'm worried-the kids and I are doing fine overall, but this is obviously confusing for them and stressful for me and I just can't believe it has come to this. I will be calling legal aid first thing Monday to get help filing for custody of course, but until then I wondered if anybody had any experience in a situation like this...?