Cry, cry, cry - Page 2
Yeah, I am knee deep in tears half of the time here now too. (I think) I was way worse with DS, but a lot of those tears were funny to me then like crying at movies, over the birth of goats or hatching of chicks, losing a matching sock to the one I already had on... once I realized why I was crying I usually ended up cry-laughing. This time around my tears seem to be driven more by my crabbiness or frustrations (mainly with DS or DH). And this sucks. For everyone. It is the weirdest thing though. Some days I have the patience of a saint, then the next I am fuming or crying (or both) because DH is sharing snacks with DS while I am making dinner, and then neither are hungry 1/2 an hour later when dinner is hot and on the table. Gahr! Just thinking about that gets me frustrated because then they both look at me in all innocence like "What? Are you okay? We were just hungry, so we ate. No big deal."
YES! I feel like I've got a split personality thing going on. I think the patience for me has more to do with feeling guilty over the angry outbursts though... I'm really feeling like a bad (ok, boring) mom these days.
Either of those things would have sent me over the edge, too. Why do toddlers like to turn our lives into frat houses?!
Last night I hardly slept and cried and cried and cried because I was convinced my DH didn't love me anymore and would rather have a beautiful, young girlfriend and be free of responsibility. This was all completely fabricated by me, btw, not characteristic of my DH at all. And even such a fantastic tale doesn't sound like me. Nevertheless, I cried most of the night. And today, I was soooo tired...
I cried yesterday because DH wanted to take the kids to a movie and let me stay home and rest. I decided that he wanted to leave me home because I am fat and slow and too much trouble to take anywhere.
I also cried because I wanted a burrito.
It was my turn to cry today. I woke up feeling sore and very tired and anti-social. I ended up being very crabby and emotional all day, and almost lost it with the girls a couple of times (once over their room being a disaster and again when DD2 clocked me in the head with a toy). And of course when I am a grumpy mom it makes me feel MORE emotional because I feel so guilty. When DH finally got home from work I just started crying because I was feeling so worn out. Luckily he is wonderful, got us take-out for dinner so I didn't have to cook, and put the girls to bed for me. I have a feeling I will cry again when I go to bed. I am just hoping tomorrow is better. Sigh...only 5-6 more weeks, I hope my family doesn't hate me by then.
This morning after breakfast, I felt out of breath after walking maybe 100 feet and so when I sat down, I saw my feet were swelling a bit and I just started crying. In public. Not loudly, but noticeably. My mom told me I should go lie down and I started crying harder because of how sweet she is. Oh dear.