Regarding the AAP link... I am just skimming, but I am seeing a lot of good info, along with the message that because certain situations make bedsharing more dangerous then we need to just make a blanket recommendation against it. I don't like to make decisions for my family based on that kind of method.
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Is Bedsharing Safe? - Page 2post #21 of 826/25/13 at 2:39pmThread Starterpost #22 of 826/25/13 at 2:57pm
We are all coming here with love for our children and want to do what is best for them and our families' various situations. I think a lot of us have the question, "How can we most safely bedshare" in mind. I suppose that would be a whole 'nother thread, though.
I know that my frustration is based on the fact that so many government campaigns are releasing these blanket statements to never sleep with your children, when, if done safely lends lots of benefits, especially to breastfeeding mothers.
Thanks, fruitfulmomma, for making a new thread here. (Oh, and I am new...how can I link your user name into the body of this message?)post #23 of 826/25/13 at 3:03pmThread Starterpost #24 of 826/26/13 at 8:05amThread Starter
The author is discussing problems with the latest meta-analysis on bedsharing.post #25 of 826/26/13 at 8:10amThread StarterQuote:"How can we most safely bedshare" in mind. I suppose that would be a whole 'nother thread, though.
You are welcome to discuss that here. Posts #2 and #3 have links to basic safe bedsharing guidelines for anyone who wants to review or hasn't yet become familiar with.
One thing I am really seeing in the numbers of these studies is the importance of sleep position. I have not always been consistent with the back to sleep thing, sometimes preferring a side-lying position, which while it doesn't appear to raise the risks as high as tummy sleeping, does still have some increased risks it appears. I think I will be more diligent in keeping any future babes on their backs until they can roll over themselves.post #26 of 826/26/13 at 8:18am
As a mother of a victim of SIDS, I have done a ton of research on the issue and I have come to the conclusion that I believe bedsharing to be as safe as anything else. That being said, my infants sleep in cribs- mainly because they are monitored.
SIDS happens anywhere and everywhere- babies die in cribs, babies die in mama's bed, babies die in carseats, in bassinets, paci or no paci, breastfeeding, eating formula, not vaccinated, vaccinated, with fans on and without fans on. There are things that can help prevent it, according to studies and statistics, but in the research I've done it seems that has only been one major thing in the past two decades that we have seen conclusive research proving that it reduces SIDS: put your baby to sleep on his back.
Personally, the thing that I hear and see mom's doing all the time that I think is way more unsafe than bedsharing is swaddling a baby that is old enough to roll over on his belly and get stuck.post #27 of 826/26/13 at 8:58amThread Starter
One questions I have about back-to-sleep, if anyone has come across any info, is what about nap time? I often will sit at the computer to do work while baby is having a nap, which sometimes means baby is chest to chest with me in an upright position. Same with if we are in the store and baby falls asleep in the sling. Does this go against back-to-sleep guidelines?post #28 of 826/26/13 at 9:27ampost #29 of 826/26/13 at 12:44pm
One pet peeve of mine is that NO ONE ever discusses the fact that there is NO organization who states that putting your baby to sleep in another room is @ all a safe choice. However, socially, if I were to lose a baby to SIDS in a crib down the hall, I wouldn't face the scrutiny that I would if the baby was in my bed. That is not science, it is US Cultural Bias, which is about as valid to me as a McDonald's Hamburger with a side of GMO Fries. No one writes articles about the Formula Feeding factor when a baby dies of SIDS either, even tho the risk is increased 70%.
I have looked @ all the science and it seems clear to me that the absolute safest spot is on a separate surface, right next to the mother's bed. However Breastfeeding is a HUGE SIDS reducer, so many allowances must be made to allow Breastfeeding to no only occur but succeed greatly.
With my next baby I am going to try the Finnish Box, in my room, next to my side of the bed.post #30 of 826/26/13 at 12:56pmQuote:Originally Posted by dinahx
One pet peeve of mine is that NO ONE ever discusses the fact that there is NO organization who states that putting your baby to sleep in another room is @ all a safe choice. However, socially, if I were to lose a baby to SIDS in a crib down the hall, I wouldn't face the scrutiny that I would if the baby was in my bed. That is not science, it is US Cultural Bias,
I really agree with this! Great point.post #31 of 826/26/13 at 1:06pmpost #32 of 826/26/13 at 1:56pmThread StarterQuote:it depends how you do the bed sharing...is bed sharing safely safe? Yes. Its a stupid question...
Why is it a stupid question? Babies die in their parents beds. No one wants babies to die. The AAP and other medical organizations and governmental authorities try to make this so with attempts to scare and shame parents. Babies still die. Maybe it is time we actually started having a real conversation about it.post #33 of 826/26/13 at 4:23pm
I don't think it's a stupid question! In fact, I think it's great within NFL if we occasionally dig up a subject and really discuss it. And, depending on which country you live in, if you're answer is "yes" then it is MOST definitely not a stupid question. Thanks for posting the question Fruitfulmoma!post #34 of 826/26/13 at 5:57pmQuote:Originally Posted by fruitfulmomma
One questions I have about back-to-sleep, if anyone has come across any info, is what about nap time? I often will sit at the computer to do work while baby is having a nap, which sometimes means baby is chest to chest with me in an upright position. Same with if we are in the store and baby falls asleep in the sling. Does this go against back-to-sleep guidelines?
Apples and oranges.
Back to sleep is necessary because the baby is distanced from the mother. She cannot monitor its breathing and her breathing cannot regulate the baby's.
While baby wearing, you are right there to monitor your baby's breathing.
The back to sleep campaign was only necessary because of our western culture and the tendency to separate mothers and babies. I don't need studies and statistics. Bed sharing is as old as time. It was always the safest, and only, option for me.post #35 of 826/26/13 at 6:08pmQuote:
Suspost #36 of 826/26/13 at 10:44pm
One of MY pet peeves are all the weird contraptions coming out in the midst of the SIDS/no bedsharing stuff - those weird Nap Nanny recliner things, bean bag chairs with little straps... not to mention the sheer amount of parents I still see using crib bumper pads, pillows and blankets in a newborn's crib, and the amount of time babies are spending in their car seats!
They need to start coming down on all that crap as hard as they come down on bedsharing, IMO.post #37 of 826/27/13 at 1:17pm
I think the links shared upthread in response to the question, addressed that question adequately. Bed sharing can be done safely or unsafely. You dont bedshare if you are drunk or on mind altering drugs, that wouldnt be safe. Sharing a blanket is unsafe, having a gap between the bed and the wall is unsafe. There are a list of factors to consider that are well known, or easy to access (see above links) if you want to educate yourself of whats safe. Basic common sense also helps.
Its like most things, you can do it safely or unsafely. Babywearing isnt safe if done incorrectly, nor is pushing a stroller down the street. Using a crib certainly isnt safe if done incorrectly, or using a faulty crib, driving....well, is driving unsafe?
Bedsharing is normal, and safe if done correctly. So i still think its a .....question. But thats just me.post #38 of 826/27/13 at 1:30pm
We sleep share and sometimes it scares me. But so does putting her in a crib. Ha! And now at 18 months it's not even an option. ;)
I never planned on co-sleeping, I never knew about it. The lactation consultant at the hospital helped me because I had a complicated pregnancy, delivery, and it was because of her and sleep sharing that I believe I was (am!!) able to breastfeed.
Our baby girl was able to roll to her side from day 1, and my husband would watch us and see how even if I didn't fully wake I was aware of the baby. That was reassuring. But I still check to make sure she's comfy in the night (at 18 months) and that she hasn't been smushed or something.
When I read about the deaths and get scared, I always want more information - did the parents drink? Do drugs? Are they heavy sleepers? Were they sick and on cold meds?post #39 of 826/27/13 at 1:43pm
to start off with id like to point everyone in the direction of www.naturalchild.org which is an EXCELLENT resource for attachment parenting, breastfeeding and yes- bedsharing. i personally bedshared with my son from about a week after i brought him home from the hospital. i was receiving no help whatsoever after giving birth and was having issues with breastfeeding because they put my son in NICU for observation and refused to allow me to breastfeed because the nurse had personal biases against it. in any case my son cried and cried for 3 months straight because on top of having to pump literally 24/7 i was also given misinformation about how often a breastfed child is supposed to nurse. in any case yes i slept with my son in my bed and continue to sleep with him in my bed at the age of 1 1/2. my bed is extremely firm (firmer than most baby mattresses) and i had tight fitting sheets. we both slept without clothes (and often without a diaper) because he overheated with the sleepers. THE INSTANT he moved my maternal instincts kicked in and i was awake to check on him. to this day if he even takes a deep breath i wake up and move my hand toward him to check on him. something i would like to point out is this... if you are worried about rolling over on your baby think about when you are pregnant- you simply DONT roll around especially in late pregnancy; you usually sleep on one side or the other dont you? its no different once youve given birth to your child, ideally the child is in the same area as when they were inside you because that is the perfect spot for night time breastfeeding. several studies have indicated that when mothers bedshare both the mother and child's waking moments overlap. you WILL freeze during the winter and you will find that your arm becomes your favorite (and only) pillow. i started off with a blanket and pillow and my son even as an infant just out of the hospital managed to knock both entirely away from both of us. i cannot condone using a pillow and blanket when beginning to bedshare with an infant (remember i was still "awake" *read- a zombie* trying to pump milk every hour on the hour for an hour. no bs thats how it went the first 2 months). i do very much recommend skin to skin contact with your child for several reasons. any germs on your child enter your system and your body creates antibodies which are then passed on through your milk to your child. my son has been sick twice in his almost 2 years of life and neither time has he needed to go to the doctor, both times he caught what i had (and let me tell you it was SEVERE for me but very VERY mild for him). along with most other aspects of attachment parenting bedsharing promotes a sense of independence by constantly reassuring the child that you will always be there when needed. you may think this a funny point to make but just try this logic on for size- since the beginning of mankind we have had predators- snakes, lions, etc. the babies who did not cry were the babies who were inevitably eaten thus keeping them from breeding and passing on that particular trait. although here in america we may or may not have these predators the trait still exists in our biological makeup to cry when left alone for the sole purpose of surviving. if the baby isnt left alone the baby doesnt cry. crying may be essential in the early stages of life but continuous crying is unhealthy for baby and unhealthy for mama (trust me know. im pretty sure i have PTSD from the two months straight of no sleep and shrill screaming in my ear. and i wont even go near a breast pump and looking at them makes me want to throw up). Ultimately it is YOUR decision whether or not it is safe to bedshare. if you DONT wake up at the very breath of your newborn its probably not safe, if you are restless at night and kick and punch in your sleep- its probably not safe. if you take any kind of medication (or drugs or alcohol) that effects the way you sleep.... its probably not safe. rather than saying either it is or it isnt safe- USE COMMON SENSE. there is no right answer or one size fits all scenario. rather than arguing whether its black or white or pointing a judgemental finger at people who DO bedshare or thoughtlessly promoting bedsharing and insisting that EVERYBODY do it- do your research!!! there are thousands of articles and studies on the subject for and against. make your best decision and if its not working then change it.post #40 of 826/27/13 at 1:51pm
I haven't read through all the posts here- but I wanted to comment. Is bedsharing safe? No. It isn't safe. But on that note, nothing you do with a baby is 100% safe. Driving in the car with baby isn't safe. Walking down the stairs with baby isn't safe. Even sleeping in a crib alone isn't safe! Many babies die each year sleeping "safely" in their cribs.
When we follow certain rules we as parents can make our babies' activities safer (when bedsharing, in the car, or in the crib), but sometimes you can do everything "right" and still something bad happens. But just because a baby dies or is harmed in one instance of bedsharing (or crib sleeping, or riding in the car) doesn't mean we should then completely avoid that activity. That's just not logical. Every situation is different, and EDUCATION on how to do things with baby SAFER is the best course of action we can take. Baby's gotta sleep somewhere, and whether that is in bed with mom or in their own space, we have to follow the guidelines we know of that reduce risks of injury or death.
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