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supervised visitation......HELP!!!!!!

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 

     My 7 year old daughter recently started supervised visitation with her father after not seeing him at all for 2 1/2 years. Her father and i were young when we had our daughter. I was 19 and her father was 18. I am now 27 years old and have been a single parent for almost four years now. When i had my daughter i grew up very quickly because i wanted to be a responsible mother and a great role model for my daughter. Unfortunately her father did not. He went down the total wrong path and started to get in trouble with the police. That is what caused me to leave him because i didn't want my daughter to grow up around that type of lifestyle. He has been in and out of prison for the last 4 years for mainly drug offenses. As that is the only way he thinks he can make money is by selling drugs. I obtained an order of protection in march 2011 because he was harassing me and threatening me that if i would not let him see his daughter he would hurt me. So fast forward to march of 2013 my order of protection expired and i was going back to court to file for a 2 year extension on my order of protection and guess who was there my daughters father. We went in front of the judge and we had a hearing right then and there. long story short his was fighting the order of protection because he didn't think it was fair that my daughter was on the order of protection and that he wanted visitation rights with her. Now keep in mind this man just got out of prison after serving an 18 month sentence for possession of a controlled substance. We were both able to give our side of the story to the judge and at the conclusion of the hearing he was granted an hour a week supervised visitation with our daughter. I could not believe my ears i was so devastated. I had been the one who did everything by the book and always been both mom and dad to my daughter. I can not believe that the judge is allowing a repeat criminal to be around my beautiful daughter. but there is nothing i can do now i have to follow the court order. thank god there is a family visitation center in the county where i live and they are the ones who will be supervising the visits. Just wondering if anyone out there has experienced supervised visits before and if you have any advice that would be wonderful. please help.    help.gif

post #2 of 5
Thread Starter 

Sorry my post is so long but i didn't know how else to explain my situation. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated.

post #3 of 5

Hi there! I don't know the laws in your state, but I do know that typically, the people who do the supervised visitation are well trained and will ensure that your daughter is safe. If the visits go well, they may increase his time with her. Have they ordered parenting classes? Is he willing to take the steps necessary to keep her safe? If he is unwilling to change his ways, that will become clear soon and then you can take action. But perhaps he is ready to mature and being a father will help with that? 

 

I know it's hard to deal with this but legally, he has a right to be a parent and by giving a tiny amount of supervised visitation, the judge is giving him a chance to prove himself in an extremely controlled environment. I hope I don't come across as unsympathetic, I totally feel for you, but, like you said, there really is nothing you can do at this time, so try to look at it in a positive light. If he is changing for the better, that is a GOOD thing, and if he hasn't, the visitation monitors (or the police) will see that. 

post #4 of 5
Thread Starter 
Thank you for your advice. I do agree with what you said. Hopefully he is ready to mature and ready to step up and be a father to my daughter. Only time will tell i guess. There's just alot of water under the bridge and alot of issues that are unresolved. But at the end of the day i just want my daughter to be happy. Thanks again for responding.
post #5 of 5
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikaylasmomm View Post

     My 7 year old daughter recently started supervised visitation with her father after not seeing him at all for 2 1/2 years. Her father and i were young when we had our daughter. I was 19 and her father was 18. I am now 27 years old and have been a single parent for almost four years now. When i had my daughter i grew up very quickly because i wanted to be a responsible mother and a great role model for my daughter. Unfortunately her father did not. He went down the total wrong path and started to get in trouble with the police. That is what caused me to leave him because i didn't want my daughter to grow up around that type of lifestyle. He has been in and out of prison for the last 4 years for mainly drug offenses. As that is the only way he thinks he can make money is by selling drugs. I obtained an order of protection in march 2011 because he was harassing me and threatening me that if i would not let him see his daughter he would hurt me. So fast forward to march of 2013 my order of protection expired and i was going back to court to file for a 2 year extension on my order of protection and guess who was there my daughters father. We went in front of the judge and we had a hearing right then and there. long story short his was fighting the order of protection because he didn't think it was fair that my daughter was on the order of protection and that he wanted visitation rights with her. Now keep in mind this man just got out of prison after serving an 18 month sentence for possession of a controlled substance. We were both able to give our side of the story to the judge and at the conclusion of the hearing he was granted an hour a week supervised visitation with our daughter. I could not believe my ears i was so devastated. I had been the one who did everything by the book and always been both mom and dad to my daughter. I can not believe that the judge is allowing a repeat criminal to be around my beautiful daughter. but there is nothing i can do now i have to follow the court order. thank god there is a family visitation center in the county where i live and they are the ones who will be supervising the visits. Just wondering if anyone out there has experienced supervised visits before and if you have any advice that would be wonderful. please help.    help.gif

 

 

My 2 1/2 year old son has supervised visitation with his father.  He pulled a "Father's Rights" and filed and eventually got it, even though I had a restraining order against him for myself, our son, and my older son.  Even though he was extremely abusive towards me and my older son and becoming neglectful towards my baby (imagine refusing to hand over a hungry nursing 2 month old for 4 hours, because if he nursed, he'd prefer Mommy and not Daddy, so he's gonna drink this bottle or starve hopmad.gif), AND threatened to kidnap the baby out of the country the first chance he got.  But... "he's the father and he has rights to his kid".  I'm sorry- there's nothing you can do about it if it's court ordered, and if he "does well" with supervised visitation and "shows he's a loving father and they bond", he may choose to eventually file for unsupervised visitation.  And there will be little you can do about it.  I was devastated when I found that out, but to not go along with a court ordered agreement is risking losing custody.

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