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Queer conceptions: July 2013 - Page 3

post #41 of 163
Thread Starter 

Hi ladies,


Just a quickie. Back from the IVF clinic this morning. Had a bit of a disaster greensad.gif turns out the cracked syringe meant I didn't get enough of the ovritrelle (brings on ovulation) so the 16 follies they took out had no eggs at all. Had to pay for the whole cycle and that's it, bust. Pretty gutted but going to try again next month. The doctor had never seen it before & I was the only one this morning out of 10 with any problems which of course didn't make me feel any better!


We have to ignore the £3k we spent and just focus on next go.  xx I had a feeling this morning something was wrong & was a bit stressed about it, turns out I was right!

post #42 of 163

Oh Shit. That truly sucks. I am sorry Liz. hug2.gif You sound amazingly calm about the situation. I hope you get to at least enjoy the city a little bit with all that disappointment. Are you staying or will you return home eralier?

post #43 of 163
Pookafaye—that is so sweet! I bet they appreciated seeing her smiling face!

Lovestreet—fingers crossed! I’ve never heard of a membrane before.

Redrock—oh, that sounds SO NICE. We’re getting out of town for a long weekend in North Carolina on Wednesday, and I am just dying for a break from the routine around here. Scuba diving would just put it totally over the top! How long is your trip?

Mama—Ugh to track marks. It’s worth it, but still, awful. Good luck today!

Jwaite—sorry about AF.

Jam—do you have the internet cheapies or the fancy smiley face OPKs? I usually test first thing in the morning and again in the afternoon, since sometimes you can miss the surge if you wait 24 hours between tests. I find that the cheapies make it MUCH easier, though, since the smileys are so freaking expensive! When do you expect to O?

Fmorris—oh, I wish I had that attitude! I am so grumpy about everything leading up to TTC—I just get so stressed out about getting the formula right. Hopefully this is your last cycle anyway, even if you enjoy it!

Oh, Liz. That’s just devastating. I’m so, so sorry.

AFM—just nervously counting down the days for this cycle to get going, and trying to calculate when we need the swimmers shipped out, etc. AF should show up in the next couple days, and then the countdown begins!
post #44 of 163
Thread Starter 

Hey Friederike I'm pretty gutted but I hadn't expected it to work so not unexpected even though I expected to at least have some implanted first! DW has been really good today about everything and we've decided to try again next month. We're really lucky that I have the holidays to take it and we've just sold our house so we have the money. At least everything else looks like it was going well so on the face of it I should be able to get pregnant. I just keep reminding myself of how lucky I am with everything else that's gone on this year and know that sooner or later we'll have a little one, even if I carry DW's egg xx


PrettyISA good luck x

post #45 of 163
Thread Starter 

Friederike ps we're going to stay here & have a holiday. At least I can have a drink now even if it is over EUR10 for a glass of small wine!

post #46 of 163
liz- sorry for the shitty luck. But good on you for seeing the glass half full. I'm glad DW and you are in a financial (and time) situation to be able to try again next month. Enjoy the rest of your holiday.

Thanks prettyisa! Good luck with your next cycle! I hope it goes swimmingly!

AFM- triggered last night after my last regular season hockey game lol. Tomorrow morning we go to the RE clinic to send the swim team on their way! Last time I found the IUI to be very painful- both during and after. Wish us luck.
post #47 of 163

Happy Monday everyone! thumb.gif


fmorris 28 – I am so happy to be back and am trying to be brave this time around J You ladies make it so easy to do! I was leaning toward listening to the Dr. but you have all just confirmed that J Good luck with the new adventure at home! I know what you mean by wanting to have all your ducks in a row, I feel the same.


lizbian – I would be lying if I didn’t admit I have resorted to google a few times myself! I am so sorry to hear about your trip! You sound so positive; I am not sure how you do it! Wishing you nothing but the best of luck and enjoy your holiday while you can.


mamaetmaman – thanks for the reassurance that later is better, I think I have the first time jitters and I am trying to be over prepared, is there such a thing? Painful, yikes! Hopefully this go round is much smoother!


chortles – I did double check and I got the Clearblue advanced digital ovulation tests and they say to test your first morning urine in their directions… I am going to go with the majority and test later in the day J


prettyisa – I actually bought the fancy smiley face ones for this go round, I was previously using some dollar store cheapies to try and get the hang of it but I found a good deal on amazon so I snagged some good ones ups. I was thinking about testing multiple times a day but didn’t want to over test, but at the same time wanted to make sure I was testing at the right time! So much to think about, I think I have the first time jitters and want to get it all right the first time, don’t we all! I am actually expecting to O late next week! I can’t believe it’s here already! The wife is getting ready to head out of town but should be back in time, fingers crossed! Sounds like things are going well for you this cycle, what bank are you using?


AFM – Just trying to wrap my head around what is going to happen next week! A lot of exciting and to be honest a little bit scared of the unknown! Thank you all for the support! 

post #48 of 163
Thread Starter 

mama GOOD LUCK!!! I hope it's less painful this time. Try to relax as that's supposed to help even though it's easier said than done.


jam very exciting & scary and I hope it works for you x

post #49 of 163

Mama good luck and baby dust goodvibes.gif I hope the insem soes smooth and painless this time. Did your doc tell you a reason for the pain last time, like did she/he have trouble getting into the cervix or so? I thought IUIs shouldn't hurt, but you're not the first one I heard who had a painful experience.


jam if your test instructions call for first morning, I would go with that. Manufacturers might do things differently. Oh and welcome back, it's such an exciting place to be.


Liz just a suggestion, I hope you don't mind - ask your doc about DHEA supplements. When I had my fertility appointment with the endocrinologist she said that it could be prescribed to increase egg quantity and quality in follicles especially for IVF patients. Enjoy your expensive whine. Did you visit the little mermaid?

post #50 of 163
Thread Starter 

hey Fried - great suggestion, I will speak to them as soon as I'm back. Thanks xx

post #51 of 163
jam - Sorry to disagree with Friederike, but I used the clear blue digital OPKs and based on everything I had read, I remember being really surprised by the instructions. I never got a positive with fmu. I would not want to use up expensive tests on fmu because it is so unlikely to catch a surge. If it were your first cycle charting and you had an abundance of cheap tests, I would say go for it, test all day and night just to get a better feel for your timing. But I think most people agree not to test until 3-4 hours after you wake up. The cycle I got pregnant, I got my first positive opk at 5pm.

Good luck, mamaetmaman! I found my first IUI really uncomfortable, too. I hope this one goes better for you.

Liz.. Wow. So many hugs for you. Enjoy your well deserved vacation.

And good luck to everyone one I missed. Reading along and cheering for you all!!!
post #52 of 163
thanks everybody for your well wishes! it made a difference- my IUI today was totally painless!

In fact, it was awesome on all fronts- the post wash motility count was good, the RE himself did the IUI (a nurse did it last time), and there was absolutely no "leakage" afterwards (I would hate to waste volume of "liquid gold" that we paid 900CDN/0.5mL for!). Last time there was so much pain and a lot of leakage as the nurse pulled out the speculum. When I asked the RE why there might be pain, he said it might be because the catheter wasn't completely through the cervix and was poking into the wall of it. That's what we figured, and am glad that this time the swim team was launched into the uterus!

Anyway, please move me to braving the two week wait! thanks again everyone for your warm thoughts and babydust!

Baby dust to all of you as well in your respective statuses!
post #53 of 163

Mama - Glad to hear you had a great IUI this time!!  That stinks that you've had painful ones in the past.  I've had uncomfortable ones, for sure, and definitely one nurse in particular who sucked at finding my cervix.  Best to you on your TWW!!


Lizbian - I could just cry for you.  How awful that the stupid syringe screwed up your whole try.  You sound like you are handling it calmly, and that so admirable.  Kudos to you on your positive perspective!!  Have safe travels home.  Drink some wine on the plane.  Hell, drink some wine wherever you can.  winky.gif

Redrockband - Ha ha!  A bit of both, actually!  -- DP got to see the basics at the clinic when I had IUIs there.  But mostly she just researched on her own!  She's amazing at planning our trips or finding deals, because she researches until she can't see straight!  After our unsuccessful IUI in June, she decided she wanted to be fully prepared for July, so she read a ton and she was a total pro.
Welcome, Jam!!  Excited for your upcoming insem, and enjoy the ride!
Thanks, ladies, for the input on the CM.  I didn't think it was anything to be concerned about.  It was the perfect EW in there, sounds like, so that can only be good!
AFM, I'm 6 dpo, and so far slightly calmer than I was last month.  I'm trying not to drive myself nuts looking for "signs," but it's difficult.  Boobs were really full a couple days ago, and today I'm having ridiculous nausea.  Came on me in a flash about 1.5 hours ago.  Been eating pineapple for the past few days, in hopes it will help the nugget stick (if there is one in there)!
The thing that keeps going through my head is that I don't know how we could've done it any better.  Everything was perfect.  So, if this didn't work...?  We try again, of course.  But it would be disappointing.  With other cycles, it was like, Well, yeah, the sample was small, my lining was thin, etc.  Doing it at home takes some of those factors out of reach, but I know our timing was great.  And that's all we can do!

Best wishes and baby dust to you all!!
post #54 of 163

SanDiego, Awesome!  I looked at their website, but got the feeling that they would be too expensive for some reason.  Do you have any information about their pricing?  


We just met today with Fertility Specialists and Dr Morales was really informative, advised doing up to 3 natural IUIs with HcG shots, but was concerned about my partner's weight and lowish AMH.  Still, she did an u/s and said everything looked good and we could go ahead for the next cycle with our first insem if we wanted to.  


The blow came when their financial person came in and told us that she had to clarify with our insurance (Cigna,) but is now positive that our $20,000 infertility benefit does not cover our first SIX inseminations, which we have to pay for out of pocket, and will not consider an individual or same sex couple infertile until they pay for these 6 failed cycles.  Straight couples need only have unprotected sex for 6 months to a year, depending on age, which is FREE, but no matter.  THEN, after those 6 cycles we pay for out of pocket, our coverage excludes any inseminations involved donor sperm, whether known or anonymous.  So, how are we supposed to inseminate?  Basically, we just found out today that we will be paying for all of this ourselves, despite having "great" insurance.  Do any of you have insurance benefits that cover or exclude your inseminations?  This blew my mind.  I really couldn't breathe after hearing this.  We still haven't cleared up the whole $5300 bill situation with our first RE, and here we are finding out from our potential new one that each insemination cycle will cost us roughly $1000, $1300 if we use clomid.  IVF is $16000.  For one cycle.


Basically, we are realizing that the money I had reserved for more sperm is now going to have to go to the inseminations for the six vials we already have.  And that if we don't both get pregnant off of those 6 vials, (me in several years), then we are going to just simply not get to have the family that we wanted.  Because of money.  How frustrating. (I will be thrilled if we can have one child, don't get me wrong.)


So, other than the hippie provider who does not deal with insurance and does not offer meds (she can just put the sperm in the uterus), who charges $200 per cycle--and I agree with you all that multiple vials a cycle seems like a waste when we wouldn't have any monitoring or trigger with her--and I wanted to like her, because I'm a hippie at heart, I just...have reservations.  


What do you all think?

post #55 of 163
sandie- while we in Canada have fairly good health coverage in general, fertility services aren't generally covered (unless you have blocked Fallopian tubes or some other significant barrier). Each time we inseminate, it costs us 1400 cdn dollars out of pocket. We have an "excellent" extended health care benefit through my (and DW's) work, which does NOT cover IUI or IVF, but does cover fertility drugs on a pre-approved basis, up to a max of 2000. In addition to our 1400 bucks, the government pays the doctor for the IUI (even though they charge us a 600 dollar fee for IUI "administrative" fees), and my drugs which are covered by my extended health plan.

Anyway, this try is IUI#3 for us, and if it doesn't work, we have to rejig our finances to perhaps pay for IVF. Right now I'm teaching summer school (and hating my life right now because of it) to make some extra income in case it comes to that. Blargh.

I know how you feel. So unfair. Especially when you hear/see people getting "accidentally" knocked up.

Hugs sista.
post #56 of 163

Hey everyone! Sorry this is going to be so short, on the run. Thank you all for all the advice. Just have another question, where do you guys get these internet cheapies you speak of? I feel like I may need to know this information...

post #57 of 163
jam - there are a bunch of sites. I typically used either babyhopes.com or meditests.com. If I remember correctly, I preferred the quality of the tests I got from babyhopes over the ones I got from meditests.
post #58 of 163
Sandie-- what a blow. My insurance also required several rounds be paid for out of pocket to 'prove' that I needed fertility treatments, and they never cover the actual sperm cost. I would call yourself, though, about the never covering cycles with donor sperm thing. Because that sounds too discriminatory to be true--most people using donor sperm are straight with health concerns. I just don't believe that they would have a blanket ban on it. Sorry for all the bad news!
post #59 of 163
sandie what would they do if you claim to have used a KD for the last 6 months unsucessfully? There really is no proof for either a straight couple trying unsucessfully or you using a KD they could ask for? Those 1000$ for insems is without sperm right? With sperm it would be a decent price. Over here that is about what I pay out of pocket including the sperm, but I am using my regular gyn which is way cheaper than a fertility specialist. I think an option could be that you use the hippie doc once to teach you/your partner how to do IUIs and do it at home. What exactly were the concerns about the weight and AMH? Would it diminish her chance of getting preggers? I know you guys already ran a lot of tests, probably more that most people who just get started and they all seemed fine, right? I would go for IVF only if signs point to serious trouble (and probably shop around a bit and compare prices, those 16.000 seem a lot).

Afm - insem on monday. 2 follies on US but one is smallish (1,1) and probably won't do anything. My dear fiancée is glad she doesn't have to do my IUI.
post #60 of 163
Thread Starter 

mama really glad the IUI was painless - FX it's the one!


lovestreet so great it all went well for you but just remember that even with everything the chances still aren't that high for pregnancy - don't get too discouraged if it is a negative just think you need to keep doing the same thing & eventually it'll work.


sandie that sucks - sorry it's so expensive. I have to pay for everything out of pocket here & nothing at all is covered on insurance. Not only that but IUI & IVF is not done on the island I live so I need to take holiday/pay to go away every time we try! $16k is an awful lot though.


fried - great you've got a date & it's not the weekend. FX it all goes well & fantastic the doc can do the insem.


AFM still in bloody Denmark, not leaving until Sunday. Tomorrow would have been transfer day but I've moved on now & am gearing up for next cycle where we'll be back here again, hoping it all goes a bit better.

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