~The wise don't strive to arrive~

[maemaesmama]

~The wise don't strive to arrive~ OK, I must repeat this 100 times daily! I'ts not helping. I feel very low latley. I am new around these parts. New to a whole lot of things.....TEXAS being one of the hardest to accept : I moved from WA state (I miss the trees&mts) in Jan. My divorce was final in March, lived together seperate since 02'. I pulled every bit of strength I had left within me to navigate my way through what could have been an ugly divorce. I decided to leave for many reasons. Some I have mentioned on other threads. I still feel like it was the healthiest choice for the children, and I. But, when does the second guessing go away? Did I become so codependent in my marriage to an alcoholic that there is no hope left for me! : I know it will take time to grow from this, and readjust to a new life as a single mama. I am sooooo LONLEY I have looked up playgroups, and mothers groups, LLL ect... I just feel like I am not quite accepted. My parenting ways set me apart from most other moms I meet. I am not passing judgment, but I want to be around ladies who inspire me, not just another mom KWIM? Being that I am a SAHM for now It has been hard to meet anyone. Any more ideas? Tomorrow I am going to a UU church in Austin. Anyone know about it? Funny,I always end up answering my own questions when I post a thread here. LOL I guess deep down I know I have to accept that with this pain will come wisdom, and I should accept where I am in life. I just want so badly to be where I dream of being instead LOL! I miss cloth diapering, gardening, and just making my own rules. It is hard living with your mom I guess mabey it is a blessing in disguise. I would just love to hear some words of wisdom. Thanks

[mocha09]

Greetings from Washington.

I don't have any wisdom for you, just gentle support. It can take a long time. I groaned for you when I read you were in Texas, but then when I read Austin, my heart did lift for you. (Of all places in Texas, Austin is definitely the best....)

I got to a UU church. Is this your first time going to one? Most of them have a visitor's corner and a greeter (don't worry about anyone trying to convert you; that is practically impossible for a UU church, since they're not out to "save" anyone). They usually have a social thing before and after where you can talk to people.

Good luck. I've been reading your other posts, and think you are a courageous and strong mama, and I admire you for taking such enormous steps.

In the meantime, hang out with us! (virtually, that is....)

[dreadmama]

Hang In There!

I know exactly how you feel! When I moved in with my Mom after I left my alcoholic ex I was so lonely too. It has been 1.5 years and I'm just now starting to meet like-minded mamas... about 3! I've been considering checking out a UU church too, let us know how it goes.

I luckily met another local single mama from MDC from the finding your tribe thread... put the call out, you never know if you might find some other cool, natural parenting mamas out in Austin. It takes a while, but hang in there, because good friends are hard to find, but once you find them they will be there for you when you need them. Go to out to parks, window shop at cute boutiques, go to health food stores / co-ops, and hang out at cool coffee shops... even if you are not meeting anyone else it is sometimes nice to people watch... and maybe you'll meet some other mamas there too.

Don't get discouraged, it takes a little while to get readjusted.

Peace,
Karen

[oatmeal]

Hey mama

Hang in there

I totally know how you feel.

I think you should be able to find some like-minded moms in LLL or somewhere in Austin - aren't there ap moms around there?

I have a playgroup who are so not into me being single and are judgemental or whatever - but I take dd because SHE loves it.

Also I have to say I have gotten a lot out of Science of Mind. I see a practitioner once a week at the moment. I am not so into going to church in Sundays. They do hold church though - I am positive there is one in Austin - it's world wide.

Also, meditation helps me a lot. Once a great while I get to go on Sundays when someone will watch dd - I go to the zen center.

It takes time to make friends. don't second guess yourself.

You are on a journey. Stay postive as much as you can.

xxOatie

[Soul-O]

Oh, I feel your pain. It is hard to get adjusted to a new area, especially when you are a single mom. Besides joining LLL, it might be worthwhile to consider Parents without Partners or some other type of single parent support group. You also might consider contacting some of the non-profit counseling centers in your area. Many of them sponsor single mom's groups - both for support and fellowship.

Good luck to you - keep your chin up, and remember that you are doing the absolute best that you can, everyday, for your children.

[ishta]

Hi there, it seems like we have a bit in common. I moved here to Austin from Olympia and my partner and I are going through an off and on seperation. He is bipolar (untreated) and I am codependent, what a pair huh? Last week I finally told him that unless he gets treatment I can't live with him anymore, way too much aurguing and uginess for our little one. He doesn't want to be on meds so I am preparing to leave and go back to Washington this summer with our daughter. Anyways, sorry for hijacking the thread, just wanted you to know that I'm here and would be happy to get together during the rest of the time I'm in TX. Email me if you want: [e-mail]

[maemaesmama]

Thanks Gals! I knew your loving, supportive, kindness would give me just the lift I needed! Things are looking better today. I am trying to take more time to breathe. The frustration for me comes from having been in a relationship that didn't allow me to create the life I dream of. Now I have to figure out where to start, while still taking time to appreciate what I have here in this moment. The love I have for my children is just overwhelming. I love being a mama more than I can ever express in words. I want to give them the home, and lifestyle that I see fit. I want it so bad, and have for years. I have to remind myself it is the little things that will add up in the end, not the house, and things. What they will remeber is nights like this evening, all piled ontop of oneanother intertwined nursing, and lovin' one another. My two little bits fell asleep on top of me after baths, and massages. It was too precious! I wish I could live in thoose moments FOREVER! I hated to get up, but I had to come tell you guys about it LOL I just want to say THANKS! I love ya all even if I don't know you personally I feel connected to you somehow. I am so glad I found this board

[mocha09]

Oh, I just read a post from Thistle in TAO, and she was mentioning the huge AP community in Austin. I immediately thought of you and this post, and it took me forever to remember where this was hidden....

The thread where she talked about Austin is the where would you relocate no tv/ap community thread (I didn't copy it, so I don't remember the exact name....)

You can click on Thistle's user name and check out her last posts to find it.

She said that API has a group there. I found the Texas API Site:
http://www.attachmentparenting.org/group/webtx.shtml
Meetings are held in Austin, Houston, and San Antonio

Please send Thistle a PM!!!!!!!!!!!!!