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Queer, Pregnant, & Parenting- July, August, & September 2013! - Page 3

post #41 of 222
So happy for you, max! orngbiggrin.gif
post #42 of 222
Max-A big huge congrats!!!!!!!!

Soto-Yay for a girl!! After the huge boy boom we need some girls. I can't wait for our scan on the 22nd.

Carmen-So sorry baby is so big. Hope everything else is ok!

AFM- Our older two have made a bet on what sex the baby is. Too cute. All I could do is laugh. The winner gets control of their TV for a whole month. I have a feeling our eldest will lose and it will do him good since he thinks he's the best at everything. Aww I love them and am enjoying my summer home with them!
post #43 of 222

good morning


i was on the boards a few years back under a different username, rainbowvalleymama (that referred to the place i was living when i first joined mothering, and hasn't been relevant for a long time).  i had an early miscarriage two years ago, and since then have had a handful of chemical pregnancies, and a ton of bfn cycles.  in may/june, my partner and i decided to do an ivf cycle, and now i'm seven weeks pregnant with one embryo (we also have ten more blasts frozen).  


i have been hesitant to come over and re-join this board, because after such a long time trying to become pregnant and have a baby, it feels so unlikely that this pregnancy will ultimately produce a child.  but, i'm also really hopeful that everything will be okay.  i just had a dream about bleeding last night, and the same thing happened last time, with bleeding starting a few days later.  has anyone else dreamt of miscarrying without it actually happening?


my partner is a painter/illustrator/art teacher, and i am a graduate student and also teach high school humanities at an art-focused charter high school.  we have been together since college (around twelve years now) and live in a beautiful little house, in a weird little town, two hours south of portland.  we also have a wonderful golden retriever--who yesterday ate a baby bird that fell out of its nest in the apple tree in our yard.  


at this point we have begun interviewing midwives, and i'm deciding whether to go to an ob/gyn one time in a couple of weeks so i can have another ultrasound to check on things.  at 6w3d we saw the thriving embryo, who was measuring to the day, and had a heartbeat we were able to hear.  assuming everything goes well until then, i'm thinking of having another ultrasound at 11 weeks, a couple of days before my mom comes out from the east coast to visit, and when we're planning to tell her about the baby.


congratulations to all the mamas of new babies, and especially to max!!  so, so wonderful you have your babe at last.

post #44 of 222

Congratulations and welcome back, breadandcoffee! How wonderful that your early u/s was perfect... Yes, I too dreamed of miscarrying when I was in my first trimester, but am still pregnant. Now that the baby moves frequently throughout the day, my anxiety has moved on to focusing on those hours when it doesn't move no matter what I do... Which isn't much better. I don't have much advice to give on coping, but I personally feel better knowing a lot of us here are feeling worried throughout our pregnancies! Hugs to you.


Summer with the big kids sounds great, Amt! I'm glad to hear they're excited about their new sibling... A whole month of tv control is quite a prize.


Crap, carmen, that sounds awful... I'm so sorry. If this continues, are the docs talking about inducing you early? Hurrah for the start of mat leave so soon! It must be a huge relief.


Soto, I'm so happy for your and your DP! Congrats! Will you be having any more u/s, or was that it until Olivia joins us on the outside in November?


AFM, I'm turning out to be one of those lucky people whose breasts are getting ready for baby-feeding super-early! Which is to say that many days I find my chest all sticky with colostrum. "How wonderful!" says my midwife. Sure, it's great... But also annoying, to be honest. I was at a wedding this past weekend, where I spent a lot of time holding my friends' 6-week old son, and that alone resulted in quite a mess inside my dress eyesroll.gif. I'm glad, really I am, that my body's so on board with the breastfeeding thing... I just wish it'd hold off a little, because we've got about another 4 months or so to go!

post #45 of 222

Welcome back, breadandcoffee. And congratulations!! I can understand feeling apprehensive after a many losses. I had 5 between 7 and 10 weeks before my current pregnancy so I can relate. Big hugs to you and I hope you can relax and enjoy your pregnancy smile.gif



Afm: Yes, I found out today that the protocol will be to induce at 37 or 38 weeks. I'm really hoping they wait until 38 weeks so I can see if my body can get things going by itself. I will see the OB next Tuesday and I believe she makes the call. Of course it's still my choice but ultimately I want to do what feels safest to me. Midwife said to pack our hospital bags and get ready. Ack. We don't even have our bed moved over to the new house yet! We will have a busy, busy weekend huh.gif

post #46 of 222

Escher - hurray for 20 weeks!


Still super excited for MAX! 


Soto - awww, congrats on your little Olivia! A GIRL!!


Granite - what a picture, the bikini and a non-alcoholic shandy. DW has her bikini ready and we are going to try to make it to the beach this weekend. Also, that sounds annoying but good news about your advanced leakage. Hah.


Carmen - that is a bummer about the big baby size. Hoping your cervix gets itself ready before induction. Wow, your baby will be here so soon!


Bread&coffee - welcome back and congrats! I hear you on the worrying. It is hard to avoid sometimes, especially if you've had a tough TTC journey.


AFU- hectic but happy week. Just celebrated the teenager's 17th and this week is DW's birthday followed by our 5 year anniversary. As soon as my work week is over we may go to Mt. St. Helens for a picnic date and the next day meet some friends on the Oregon coast. I seriously can't wait to sit on the beach and relax. Our 32 week appointment is tomorrow. The twins are super active and everyone can see a lot of movement from the outside. Now the pressure is on to get that baby room ready!

post #47 of 222

MAX!!!!!!! I am so so over the moon for you and DP.. welcome baby Aiden.. I can not wait for our 4 boys to have a play date.. Aiden is a LUCKY LUCKY boy!!!!!!!


Carmen.. Hang in there.. I know this whole GD thing has not been fun or what you planned.. but in the end you will be have your new LO to hold close and love on.. hugs!!


Soto.. A girl!!! how exciting for you!! love her name!!!!!  we def need some girls around here....


Welcome BreadandCoffee.. try to stay positive!!!!  congrats and fx for a healthy 8 months!


Granite.. well at least your body gets it.:)


BigFoot/Mrs.. holy crap 32 weeks!!! those boys are gonna be here soon :)



Hello to everyone else.. LOTS Of new babies this month.. Any news Outdoorsy? 





AFM.. knee deep in cuteness over here.. the babies are 4.5 months old ( 3 corrected) and are becoming more fun.. they are super talkative and laughing. they think I am pretty funny LOL.. We have started reading and I love to see them get soo into the books.. our favs is  Chicka Chicka Boom Boom.. they light up when I read it or sing it.. we even downloaded the song :) they seem to really like it!

A is sleeping 7 hours a night and taking 4 hour naps! The other 2 are sleeping anywhere from 5-6 most nights and only 1-2 hour naps.. Aug really loves his sleep.. 

All 3 are rolling over from tummy to back and working hard on going the other direction now! They are noticing the dogs and get happy when they see them...the dogs love to clean up baby spit up.. its kinda gross LOL :) 

Some days I am overwhelmed but i realized those are the days I dont get out of the house.. I do get out often.. and it will be much easier once the new stroller arrives ( a triple) 

post #48 of 222

MAX! Congradulations!!! I am just so so happy to read your news today. I have been thinking about you and DP. Welcome baby Aiden!!!



post #49 of 222

MAX--jumping out of new baby land lurkdom to say CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!  Welcome baby Aiden!!

post #50 of 222
Max congrats !!! So happy for you. I was just thinking about you a few weeks ago and am thrilled for

Everyone else hi and read all your updates and thinking if everyone but too overwhelmed with recovery and being a mom of two to respond individually but so excited for everyone's good news
post #51 of 222

Drive by post to shamelessly solicit y'all to come on over to the babywearing photo contest and vote for #126 ... the one of my and eldest and I in Costa Rica.


post #52 of 222

Hi everyone! Our sweet baby boy was born July 3 in the wee hours! I had an induction due to being 41 weeks and over age 35 (my doc lets younger women go another week). The induction was painful and I got an epidural after a long night of contractions. They said I was a good pusher, but I ended up having to have to pulls of the vacuum to get him out pronto at the end because the cord was tight around his neck and his heart rate was erratic.


Anyway, it's all worth it! Thanks everyone for your support on here.


I apologize for being too private to share a photo.

post #53 of 222
Congratulations, Outdoorsy! I hope you are all enjoying your time together! I'm sorry that the birth was challenging, but I'm glad that it is worth it to have him here now!

BIgfoot: 32 weeks already! Wow!

Carmen: You're getting so close! Were you able to get lots done this weekend? Do you have an induction date set?

Breadandcoffee: I remember you when you were here before. Welcome back! Congratulations on your pregnancy! What a journey you've had. I definitely understand the feeling that it can't possibly actually produce a baby. I felt like that for most of the pregnancy with our son. Anyway, great to see you here!

Our ultrasound last week went well. Everything looks healthy. The baby was in a funny position and then moving around a lot, so we didn't get tons of cute views (I remember with our son we were able to see him sucking on his hand, and this time we were struggling to even see where the baby's face was). But the point of the ultrasound was to check on things medically, so we're ok waiting to really see the kid until he/she is born.
post #54 of 222

Congratulations Outdoorsy!  So happy to hear from you.  Inductions are tough, but I'm glad your baby boy was born without a c/s.  I hope you are healing and adjusting well.


Congratulations on the girl, sotohana!  How wonderful!


escher, so glad the u/s went well and baby is healthy!


breadandcoffee-Congratulations!  I hope you have a healthy and peaceful pregnancy.


carmen-I'm sorry GD continues to cause you worry.  I hope everything goes well and that maybe baby decides to arrive on its own.

post #55 of 222

escher, good to hear baby is healthy :) I have had many u/s this pregnancy and have only seen the baby's face twice...and it's been close ups so can't really make much out.


outdoorsy! Congratulations on your baby boy!! love.gif Glad to hear you are both healthy!



Afm: Nope, no induction date set. I see the OB tomorrow at 9 so we'll see what she says. 37 weeks on Wednesday so we're definitely getting close! I had a good acupuncture appointment on Saturday and will have another one on Wednesday to kick start things. And we got *some* things done. We hope to rent a moving truck for Saturday so we better have everything ready by then! 

post #56 of 222

Congrats outdoorsy!  I had a long day of pitocin contractions with DD's induction.  14 hours.  My body couldn't relax.  After I got an epidural, dilation went from .5 to 9.5 in the matter of 30 minutes.  I felt horrible, but if I didn't do the epidural, it would have turned into a C-section.  So glad everything went okay with you!


AFM -I have been having growth scans every 2 weeks :( because of "standard care" for my type of twins.  Baby A is now mildly discordant with Baby B, so now I have to do biophysical profiles every week, which means amniotic fluid measurements and cord blood measurements, along with growth scans every other week.......  This is all so frustrating!  On the up side, I met my new OB yesterday.  It went really well.  My care can pretty much be taken over by her, instead of the specialist.  She was very open and stressed that her philosophy was to include us in the decisions and to be very informative, that she wasn't going to say that something had to be done this way, but would go with whatever we decided on after she gave us the information we needed.  And that she didn't want us to feel like we didn't get a vote at all, that the show was ran by her.  Then she did talk about the things that could happen with Baby B during delivery and why an epidural would good...  And also the new recommendation that twins with 1 placenta be born at 36 weeks because of modest rise in fetal death after that point......  Which freaked DSp out....  Also, I had my 1 hour glucose test and got the call this morning that I didn't pass.  So on to the 3 hour test for Monday.........

post #57 of 222
Thread Starter 

So many congratulations, Outdoorsy! No apologies needed for not wanting to share photos. We are just glad to hear that he is safely earthside and that all of you are well!


Welcome, Bread&Coffee! I live in the greater Portland area and can think of several weird little towns about two hours south of us. lol :) Oregon is the best. Was I right to list your due date month as March 2014? 


Cananny- your boys just get cuter and cuter by the day! They slay me with their adorable little faces. 


Escher- So glad to hear that everything went well with you and DW's ultrasound! We too didn't get very good pictures, but 'twas okay because I know she's doing great in there and that's all that really matters. 


Carmen- I bow down to you for moving at 37 weeks. I guess we do what we have to do, though. So excited for you- our next mama due on this board!


Esenbee- that's great to hear about how supportive your new OB is being! And I'm glad to hear that they have a protocol to deal with the risk associated with twins sharing one placenta. So, I don't know much about twins- does the one placenta mean that they are identical or does that have nothing to do with whether they are identical or fraternal? 


Bigfoot- how was the coast? That sounds absolutely divine right now. We are sure having the perfect weather for it too! 


Granite- Your post about producing colostrum was such funny timing for me to read. Just the day before that I had read on the MDC Nov Mamas FB board that some women were producing colostrum already and so I, of course, tried squeezing my nipples super hard to see if anything came out. lol. Nothing came out, so I was assuming that meant that one could only produce colostrum at this point in pregnancy if they were not having a second or subsequent pregnancy. I guess I was wrong! ps. one should never squeeze their nipples super hard at this point in pregnancy. It hurt soooo bad. lol. 


AFU- DW has been refinishing the floors of our condo this past weekend while I've been visiting my BFF in Seattle. This time away has been super nice and relaxing, but I'm ready to be home with my sweetheart and to see my kitty babies, Georgio and Bella. We've told many people so far that we're having a girl, but DW still has a few more people to tell before I'm allowed to put it on FB. Tbh, my first response after finding out was to cry super hard with happiness, but my second response was to feel super guilty for caring so much. I don't think anyone else would get it, so I haven't shared this with anyone but DW. My worry is that I'd already be socializing her to feel constrained by society's definitions of gender if I was happy at any level that she's a girl, which I am. I guess I feel like I should feel totally neutral about it. I also have concern about announcing it on FB because I don't want to be disrespectful of my trans friends. So, I'm conflicted by it for sure. Did any of the rest of you worry about this kind of thing too? If you decided not to find out the sex was that why? What about announcing it on FB- what are your thoughts? 

post #58 of 222

Had yet another epic day of appointments. I will be induced between July 24 and 31...I should know the date in the next day or two. I *think* I'm ok with it but I do know that it feels like the safest option at this point to me. Of course that is partially based on fear. Baby is measuring 5 weeks ahead now and I ended up in L&D assessment after all my appointments because the midwife caught one small dip in heart rate...and I had just had a NST earlier! But, I had another one. In the hospital I had another NST that indeed showed a lower baseline but was considered normal. Midwife tried to check my cervix and do a stretch and sweep and couldn't reach it! She will try again next week...I would still like to beat the medical induction if possible!


Sorry for lack of personals, it was a whirlwind day and I'm burnt out. Not to mention my ankles have permanently disappeared!

post #59 of 222

carmen  -sounds rough!  I have been doing all kinds of research on inductions vs. spontaneous labor and the outcome of the baby, but haven't found a study that was set up in the way that would tell me what I want to know...  I am facing induction at 36 weeks and I am so worried about their development/maturity.  My new OB is too.  I was induced with DD and the whole experience was horrible for me...  hug2.gif


soto -fraternal twins always have 2 placentas.  So, if there is one placenta, they are for sure identical (well there was one case of fraternal twins that shared a placenta, IVF babies).  If there are two placentas, they can still be identical, the embryo just separated super early.  For me, my first scan was at 19 weeks, which is after the cut off of 14 weeks to be for sure that there is 1 placenta.  SO, they are pretty sure there is just one placenta, but COULD be two placentas that have fused together and just can be seen by scans.  They can examine the placenta after birth to see if it's fused and we can elect to have DNA testing to see if they are for sure identical....  All pretty confusing at first to keep it all straight!


for your question about sex/gender, with DD, I wanted to make sure she wasn't forced to be ALL girl, so we got the gender neutral toy colors, not too girly clothes and that sort.  She ended up being the girly-est girl I have ever known.  But, she also has a tough attitude and loves to dig in the dirt and loves, rocks, rolly pollys, worms, lightning bugs and lady bugs....  I think if you give her the room to figure out who she is, she will fine.  In regards to FB announcing and offending people, you could just say that the biological sex of the baby is female.  My DSp is trans and has no problem with saying that the twins are boys.  Different people have a different level of sensitivity/comfortableness with boy/girl and male/female statements, comments, discussions, etc.  I wouldn't worry too much about it..

post #60 of 222

Carmen ... I'm thinking about you lots!  If there is anything we can do, don't hesitate to text me.  


Soto ... This is a great opportunity for you and DW to do what YOU feel compelled to do.  If you want to shout it from the rooftops, go for it!  If you want to keep it to yourselves, go for it!  There are going to be so many times as a parent when you'll feel judged, uncertain, pressured, coerced or pushed.  Now is a great time to check in with DW and figure out what you feel, and what *you* two want to do about it.  Good practice for what's to come.

As for us, we didn't find out with dd, but we did with ds.  When we told people that ds was a boy, we usually said something like, "Look like the baby is a boy ... for now!" 

In our house, gender doesn't count for much.  We often said that too. (DP is genderqueer)

Congratulations on your girl!

My girl turned out to be a kick-butt little kid who is a fierce protector of the underdog and defender of justice, likes to keep her hair very short, never plays with dolls or dress up or any other kind of 'girly' type thing, wants to be a warrior/entomologist when she grows up, and could care less about what she wears.  And she is exactly perfect as she is!  My little boy carries his babies around in a sling, sings all day long, and sets up tea parties for his stuffed animals.  Go figure.  

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