or Connect
Mothering › Groups › February 2014 Due Date Club › Discussions › ~Expecting a Rainbow - July 2013~

~Expecting a Rainbow - July 2013~

post #1 of 61
Thread Starter 

Continued from ~Expecting a Rainbow June 2013~

 

rainbow1284.gif Worrying does not take away tomorrow's troubles, it takes away today's peace - author unknown

 

A "rainbow baby" is a baby that is born following a miscarriage or still birth.

A beautiful and bright rainbow follows a storm and gives hope of things getting better. The rainbow is more appreciated having just experienced the storm in comparison.

The storm (pregnancy loss) has already happened and nothing can change that experience. Storm-clouds might still be overhead as the family continue to cope with the loss, but something colorful and bright has emerged from the darkness and misery. - modified from Urban Dictionary
 
grouphug.gif
 
This thread is to support the women among us who are expecting their Rainbow Babies in February 2014. It is a place for all the ups and downs of the roller coaster called pregnancy after loss. Excited? Worried? Happy? Nervous? Thrilled? Scared? Ambiguous? Concerned? Whatever you are feeling, however you are doing, this is the place to get/give support to others experiencing the same thing. Here we can discuss our concerns and problems in the safety and company of other mamas like us. Compare BETA results, our prenatal screens, show off our scans, and in what seems like a lifetime away - our newborn baby pictures.
 
 
While there is an Expecting Our Rainbow Babies thread in the Pregnancy after Birth Loss forum, I really wanted to connect with women experiencing similar pregnancy timing.
post #2 of 61
Thread Starter 

Hello Ladies! How is everyone???

 

I went to my follow up appointment since I had that early red bleeding and everything looks good. We were able to see a lovely little heartbeat heartbeat.gif and the ultrasound measurements matched my dates thumb.gif

 

I have just started having morning/all day sickness and I leave on Sunday for a week long business trip. I got some zofran for the flight. I am pretty much dreading the whole thing. I wasn't pregnant when I signed up for the trip and it's a great opportunity, I just feel like crap now.

 

We went ahead and told the kids about the pregnancy and none of them were happy about it. Oh well.
 

post #3 of 61

Yay! So glad you got to see that heartbeat, Patti!

 

And sorry about your morning sickness. Zofran got me through the third month of my last pregnancy. I hope it makes your trip better!

post #4 of 61

Thanks for starting this thread, Patti! And so sorry to hear about the m/s :( With my m/c I didn't have any m/s (I mc'd at about 6w2d so probably wasn't even far enough along). So far with this pregnancy I almost felt sicker earlier on than I do now at 7w1d. Three nights ago I threw up but it came on very suddenly and was gone just as suddenly and I haven't really had anything more than mild waves of nausea here and there since like if I get too hungry or something. I thought ms was supposed to be more of an all-day thing, as you mentioned, so I'm kind of freaking that for me I've only had one bout so far (late at night) that lasted about 10 minutes. I keep telling myself everyone is different (I'm not prone to nausea or vomiting -- I think the last time I threw up before this weekend I was in college and it involved having a little too much fun) but it's hard not to totally freak out! As miserable as I'm sure it is, I would almost rather have the intense nausea!

 

Adding to my anxiety is the fact that my hCG betas started off on the low-ish side of normal (121 at 15 DPO; 262 at 17 DPO; 1700 at 21 DPO) although my progesterone was oddly super high at 103. When we went in for an u/s at 6w3d baby was measuring right on schedule and hb was 118. In the normal range but again, on the low side. So while it was a huge relief to hear that heart beating I'm now counting the days until our 8w4d u/s. 

 

Best of luck, ladies!!

post #5 of 61

I went in for my first real appointment today. Our little gymnast is measuring right on track and was trying out some new tricks with those itty bitty legs. Heart rate was 181. joy.gif

post #6 of 61

wow, so many of you are having such wonderful and reassuring appointments!  i'm curious whether anyone has been dreaming about bleeding/miscarrying?  and, if so, have you had an appointment where you saw everything was fine after?  i dreamt i was bleeding last night, and now i'm pretty freaked out--especially because i dreamt of bleeding a few nights before miscarrying last time.  it's so hard to not know whether i'm just processing my fears or having a horrible premonition.  i want so badly to believe in this baby, but i can't handle thinking and planning for him if he's not actually coming...

post #7 of 61

Breadandcoffee, I've had several bleeding/miscarriage dreams. I haven't had any appointments yet, but I'm trying to stay positive :)
My first appointment is the 22nd!

post #8 of 61

I have woken myself up in tears several times because of bleeding/miscarrying dreams. I'm trying to stay positive in the moment because 1) worry won't do me or baby any good, whether it's going to stick around or not and 2) the future will be what it will be, and right now I have to believe that everything is good or I would have moved in under my bed and gone completely crazy already. I hope I'll feel better after the 12 week mark passes (when I lost my first), but I really don't think I'll be completely reassured until I can feel regular movement.

 

When will you go in for an appointment? Hang in there!

post #9 of 61

Congrats on the successful appointment, Chelsea!

 

Breadandcoffee -- Yes, I've had at least two bleeding dreams (both at the end of the 6th/beginning of the 7th week) that were so realistic that I got up to check if it was real. It wasn't! Honestly I don't think these dreams are "signs" of things to come. (I dreamt about getting a positive pregnancy test on cycles when I wasn't pregnant so I'm not putting much faith in the predictive power of dreams!) We saw a baby measuring on track with a heartbeat at 6w3d and my symptoms are all still there (and actually intensifying) so I just chocked it up to anxiety. Really -- don't read it as a bad sign!

post #10 of 61

Found out that my pregnancy is over yesterday, as we traveled across the country at what should have been 10 weeks on the nose.  Left MN in the morning, started spotting, went into a hospital to get checked out, and everything looks similar to last time, just slightly more developed.  We decided to try and drive as far as we could (trading while I felt good), and luckily got home without passing anything on the road.  Thinking the process will really start today not that I'm rested and home.  I'm not even sure how I'm feeling - the same crushing sadness, fear that I'll never have children since this is the second time, confused because I am an absurdly healthy/health conscious person, angry and blaming my childhood for causing potential health problems/fertility problems, angry that people that don't want a baby seem to have them so easily, angry that people pay to have babies like mine taken out because they don't want them, and that someone like me who goes to births as an apprentice midwife, is a babysitter, and wants 4+ babies has now gone through this loss twice.  I'm worried about my mental health but not really sure what to do about it other than take it one day at a time, keep eating and sleeping, and somehow put these pieces back together again.  

 

Thanks for the time we did have ladies <3 I'm going to head over to the loss boards eventually and see if there are any good ideas - hoping progesterone or something simple is the key, although then I'll almost feel worse that I didn't have that info these times.  Ugh.  

 

(I did have a miscarriage/bleeding dream around 6 weeks, but weirder is that my mom dreamt I was pregnant the cycle we conceived, and she had a bleeding dream Monday night - creepy!)

post #11 of 61

So, so sorry Margo. I can't imagine what you must be going through. It's just flat out unfair. I hope you manage to find peace and solace and I know that eventually your baby will find her way down to you. 

 

Are you planning on testing for a chromosome issue? I know this probably won't make you feel any better but friends of ours went through a similar thing -- I thikn three miscarriages (one technically a still birth at >20 weeks) and they now have a beautiful baby girl. So there's reason to hope.

post #12 of 61

I'm thinking of you so much!  It's such a difficult thing.  Also, remember that hormones are quickly changing for you right now so it makes everything so tender and hopefully in a week or so it'll feel a little less like your emotions are so rapidly changing.  I spent time at the Mothering loss board for many of my miscarriages and a lot of the women's thoughts and ideas were helpful.  Go easy on yourself and just let whatever you feel be OK because it is all apart of the healing process.  I wish I could grab some of your sadness and pain and take it with me to ease your pain just a little.  Big huge hugs and remember to rest and be easy on yourself.  Sending much love!  hug2.gif

post #13 of 61

Hello,

 

Poking my head in here. I'm almost 9 weeks along. I had a miscarriage last year in September. It was a missed abortion so we only found out at the first 12-week ultrasound. It was a really bad experience (aren't they all). We were sent home without any information and told to book a D&C the following day. The miscarriage started around 10 pm that night and ended up with me in ER with a hemorrhage around 1 am. That was our second miscarriage. So we ended up getting a lot of testing afterwards, we were diagnosed with a complete bilateral tubal obstruction. Which made things feel even worse because it felt like the last pregnancy was our last chance and my body had closed down. The good news is we were eligible for funded IVF, so that is where we are now. It has meant a lot more tests and early ultrasounds, and right now I'm very grateful for that since I think getting regular progress updates is what is keeping me sane. We've had the heart beat confirmed at 6/7 weeks and again at 8/9 weeks so I'm starting to feel hopeful about this one. 

post #14 of 61
Thread Starter 

Hello Ladies, I am traveling for work so I haven't had much computer time. I will catch up on personals later. I did want to send Margo a hug2.gif I am so sorry for your loss hug.gif

post #15 of 61
Welcome beagle and congrats on the positive ultrasounds! It's funny how pregnancy after a miscarriage becomes all about small victories. Each day that passes with no bleeding and no loss of symptoms feels like an accomplishment to me. Anything to stay positive!
post #16 of 61
Got the heartbeat on doppler yesterday. I'm about 10 weeks now! Starting to get a little excited and told a few people. Next week we have our first appointment, I think after that I'll share. I've definitely had some anxious thoughts but its getting much better.
post #17 of 61

Congrats melimade! Sounds like you're just about in the clear. Good luck with next week's appointment!

 

Our second u/s is in two days. I'll be 8w4d by then. Like you, I'm still really anxious and have good days and bad days (like this morning when I woke up and my breasts were less sore than they were yesterday!) but for the most part I'm feeling hopeful. Honestly though I'm still kind of in disbelief I've made it this far. Fingers crossed for both of us.

post #18 of 61

I'm now waiting for the referral to the OB. I'm debating if I should call the office, our fertility clinic confirmed which OB I've been referred to. They told me I'm not likely to hear from them until week 10. I'm in week 9 right now. Without a next appointment in sight I cant' help but feel that everything is not okay. I know this is irrational, especially given two early ultrasounds with heart beat confirmed, but still it's hard not to worry. 

post #19 of 61
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by melimade View Post

Got the heartbeat on doppler yesterday. I'm about 10 weeks now! Starting to get a little excited and told a few people. Next week we have our first appointment, I think after that I'll share. I've definitely had some anxious thoughts but its getting much better.

heartbeat.gifThat's awesome!

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by oasis84 View Post

Congrats melimade! Sounds like you're just about in the clear. Good luck with next week's appointment!

 

Our second u/s is in two days. I'll be 8w4d by then. Like you, I'm still really anxious and have good days and bad days (like this morning when I woke up and my breasts were less sore than they were yesterday!) but for the most part I'm feeling hopeful. Honestly though I'm still kind of in disbelief I've made it this far. Fingers crossed for both of us.

fingersx.gifI hope your ultrasound brings you reassurance that everything is just lovely!

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by BeagleSmuggler View Post

I'm now waiting for the referral to the OB. I'm debating if I should call the office, our fertility clinic confirmed which OB I've been referred to. They told me I'm not likely to hear from them until week 10. I'm in week 9 right now. Without a next appointment in sight I cant' help but feel that everything is not okay. I know this is irrational, especially given two early ultrasounds with heart beat confirmed, but still it's hard not to worry. 

hug2.gifI hear you on the "hard not to worry". Everything looked great at my ultrasound two weeks ago and my next appointment isn't until August 2nd. I am having anxiety waiting for that next appointment. I have even passed all my milestones from early losses so you would think that would help the anxiety but no greensad.gif

 

 

AFM - 8 weeks, 4 days and I have morning sickness (that lasts all day), fatigue and constipation. My last ultrasound was good with a nice little heartbeat and I have passed all my early loss milestones yet still I have loss anxiety. I feel like it won't get better until I can feel those little kicks and punches on a daily basis.

post #20 of 61

Hello.

 

I have been lurking a bit, and don't really want to post anywhere but this thread yet.  This is my 2nd pregnancy- first ended at 9.5 weeks.  I am at 8.5 weeks now, and feel like I will be able to relax a little if I can make it to 10.  We don't have our first appointment (hopefully we will hear a HB) until Aug 6th, so counting down to that as well.  I am feeling sick quite often, as well as exhausted, so I am really glad for that.  It is so strange isn't it?  To panic every time your symptoms let up, but still be sick and tired of being sick and tired?

 

My step son is with us for the summer too, so that is another awkwardness.  We aren't telling him anything yet, but will tell him before he goes back to his mom if everything is going well.  We are in the midst of a huge, horrible, nasty custody battle for both my step daughter and step son, and of course that has added to the stress level.

 

I also want to let you guys know about an upcoming blogtalk radio show.  I am not affiliated in any way, but I do enjoy Gena's show, and asked her to do something on this topic.  http://www.blogtalkradio.com/progressive-parenting/2013/07/17/pregnancy-after-loss

  Return Home
  Back to Forum: February 2014 Due Date Club
Mothering › Groups › February 2014 Due Date Club › Discussions › ~Expecting a Rainbow - July 2013~