My husband and I just got married 3 months ago. We live in California, his family lives in Massachusetts. He is very close with his family, and every year since he was 25 or so (he's 42) he has gone "home" and stayed with them for a month, and then over his christmas break (he's a teacher), he goes and stays with them for 3 weeks) He has 6 nieces and nephews and 3 brothers and sisters, and his mom is widowed and needy. I am not close with my family at all, they live on the east coast too (but in florida) and I visit them maybe once a year for a couple days, just to see my mom.
This christmas we went and stayed with them for 2 weeks and by the end of the first week I was ready to go. It was freezing outside, snowing, we didn't have our own transportation so we were at the mercy of when his mom/sister would let us borrow her car to get out of the house and do stuff, and it's suburban massachusetts an hour from the city so ... it was horrible. Also- I do not celebrate christmas and really can't stand all the christmas propaganda... and I'm vegan... and we're just SO different, I was given hell about my food choices, bombarded with questions about my family (I essentially don't have one, had a horrible childhood) and had NO personal space for 2 weeks because the kids were constantly all over grandma's house (where we stayed) at once. BUT, it was deal-able with because we had just returned from a vacation in mexico and had gotten a lot of relaxation and sun... and I wasn't pregnant.
Now I'm pregnant and this is hellish. It's summer, so at least we can go outside, but it's 95 degrees and humid or raining most days and I'm pregnant and uncomfortable. The house is almost constantly bombarded and full of 6 kids and his brothers and sisters, and I have to retreat to the upstairs bedroom for any privacy, which is the hottest and most humid room in the house. We again don't have a car and have to borrow one, and when we do it can only be for quick errands... we're supposed to be here June 27th- July 16th. Just short of 3 weeks. It's only been 4 days now and I am READY to go home to California, where I have autonomy and can do the things I need and want to do when I need to do them... like seeing my girl friends and going to yoga and going to the health food store- and eating things I always eat and not being questioned about it or having people act like I'm being high maintenance if I won't eat dairy or meat... so annoying.
My husband just doesn't GET that QUALITY time is so much better than QUANTITY time. His family guilt trips him because he has chosen to live on the west coast (which is way more his style)... so he feels bad and tries to make up for it every year by spending a ridiculous amount of time here... but this is NOT how it's going to be in the future when we have our baby. His mom was already trying to GUILT me into bringing MY 5-6 week old NEWBORN baby on a plane over CHRISTMAS (WHICH OUR CHILD WILL HAVE NO PART OF) just so everyone can meet her. It's not fair- they need to come visit US and feel like aliens/foreigners to really realize what a huge inconvenience it is for ME to carve out 3 weeks of my summer being somewhere I don't want to be. There is no freaking way I'm bringing my newborn baby on a plane just so they can see her at christmas. and there is no way I am bringing my 6 month old for a freaking month to hot humid boring suburban massachusetts this time next year. We will come for a WEEK MAXIMUM.
Is it just me or is THREE WEEKS LIVING IN MIL's HOUSE INSANE???? in my husband's childhood bedroom too. AGH. survival tips please. My husband promised me he'd take me to yoga class almost every day (i've gone twice out of 4 days so far, so good) and take me to the health food store so I can eat edible food (we're stocked up on groceries I need, so far so good with that too)... only thing is I'm freaking bored and uncomfortable 98% of the time we're stuck in the house.