Thank you for sharing your own experience with this issue, Sarafi. :) I should note that I have very strong opinions regarding this issue :) I will still aim to keep things even because I do think it creates resentment in the end. I would like to think it doesn't, but apart from my own sister's complaining, I've heard stories from close friends on how their parents "gave X to their sibling and they didn't get anything like that". One might think that it's simply general conversation material, but constant casual mentioning has a deeper root in my books. I think the resentment is there for many people but they don't want to admit it because they feel they might be perceived as narcissistic.
I don't want to create that resentment between my children and if that means they have missed out because it wasn't fair for all of them overall, then I will chalk it up to: that's also a good life lesson to learn. There are times in life when we miss out because it's not for the greater good of everyone and we have to learn how to deal with that type of disappointment too. My mom is one of those "Well, why should you miss out just because it wasn't fair for others?" type thinkers and IMO it's an incredibly selfish approach. She raised me using with that motto and now I sit back and deal with all the resentment it has caused. I vow not to repeat history. I'm kind of annoyed that my parents gave me more overall, because now I have to deal with sibling resentment towards me when I did not actually do anything to instigate it. I did not find out until much later (adulthood) that my sister never had what I was afforded. If I could take it back, I would! It's always thrown in my face and I have to live with this type of relationship for life.
There are few stages in life where two or three of my children won't get what their sibling has and it's where age appropriateness is a concern. But they know that once they hit the age their older sibling is at (and it becomes age appropriate) then they too, can have their turn.
It takes a fair amount of foresight to try and keep things fair all the time and as I was saying in a previous post, it is not the most sustainable approach. However, it's what I feel is right for our family.
Littleplumhill - Student loans suck don't they! :( It took us quite a few years to pay off ours too. Here's to those months going by as quickly as possible!