My fiance and I will be marrying next summer. I have an 18 year old son who will still be living with me and a 2 year old son who lives with me as well. My fiance has a 13 year old daughter, a 9 year old son, and a 6 year old daughter.
When we marry, we will be looking for a 5 bedroom apartment. If we get a 5 bedroom apartment, my fiance and I will share a bedroom, my 18 year old will have his own room, and then we will either split up the girls, or split up the boys. The problem is, they really all need to be split up, for different reasons. What would you opt for if this was your family.
Reasons why they should share a bedroom- they're sisters, have been since the younger one was born. They have similar interests and are pretty much inseparable. They are both very... messy... and just leave things where they fall (better to have one messy bedroom than two?). They're both night owls. They both sleep with a night light and a radio (or tv, but I'm hoping to have that habit gone by the time we're all living together).
Reasons why they should not share a bedroom- the 5 year old will NOT leave the 13 year old alone. To the point where she will not sleep in her own bed, she will sleep IN the 13 year old's bed, sometimes practically on TOP of the 13 year old. We're working on this, but without any improvement so far- unfortunately, if they don't share a bedroom, the 5 year old will likely sneak into the 13 year old's room and join her anyways. Also, the 5 year old has also been VERY curious about the 13 year old's changing body (puberty) and will stare and even try to touch the 13 year old in uncomfortable ways. Unfortunately, if they
Reasons why they should share a bedroom- they get along pretty good. They've been friends since my son was 9 months old, so they're like brothers. They are slightly (6 years, 9 months) closer in age than the girls (7 years, one month). They both can be night owls, but are easier to get them both to sleep by 10-10:30 (as opposed to the girls and midnight).
Reasons why they should not share a bedroom- the 9 year old has Asperger's and everything has to be in certain places and he gets upset if someone moves it. The 9 year old also has a habit of storing his things in odd places (but that's where they go! lol) that are not always appropriate or safe for a 2 year old to be around. The 9 year old sleeps with a nightlight, but my 2 year old cannot sleep with any visual or auditory stimulation. My 2 year old is a 2 year old. He cannot and will not keep out of the 9 year old's stuff. We plan on eventually having more kids, which, the logical bedroom to put the future baby in (when too old to sleep with it's parents) would be in the youngest child's bedroom, which would be my 2 year old's.
One other option my fiance suggested is his 5 year old daughter and my 2 year old son share a room. I can't let that happen- he will not sleep if she's up half the night, or if she's got a nightlight on, she cannot sleep without a nightlight and will likely not let him sleep alone in his own bed. Also, she has shown inappropriate behaviors towards other children (touching, etc) and aggressive behaviors towards children smaller than her (bending fingers backwards, etc) that I will not leave my son unsupervised with her, especially at night when I might not hear to stop anything.
I also suggested the 5 year old girl and the 9 year old boy possibly sharing a room, at least for a couple years until the 18 year old moves out and one of them can move into his room, because even though their schedules are opposite (early bird, night owl), they usually get along pretty good, but my fiance is against it for some reason. (The 5 year old acts appropriately towards the 9 year old- that's not an issue- however, they are a bit like Bonnie and Clyde, they do get into trouble together if they're the first ones in the household awake, but that can happen with them in different bedrooms, anyways, 'cause it's not like they stay in their bedrooms in the mornings.)
The 18 year old has Asperger's also, and is very isolating. He's okay... as long as he has his own space to "escape in". The 18 year old sharing a room is not an option.
Given the facts, what would you suggest for sleeping arrangements if this were your household?