To all you wonderful ladies who have been so kind to me, a WORLD of thanks from my neck of the woods.
This morn I had more brown watery discharge with cramping. I just had this feeling I should get an ultrasound to make sure all was ok in there. The rest of the day did not bode so well for me. I had ultrasound first tummy style and the tech was grimacing and squinting and I said "oh you having a hard time seeing it?" She was sweet and said "oh I think maybe your fibroid is casting a shadow or something we'll probably have to do a transvaginal." I said "oh ok." She was in there for TWENTY minutes then she called in her head tech and she took over and at this point I knew for sure something was amiss. They explained that though I was at 8 weeks I was only measuring 6 ish and they couldn't see a fetal pole. They said the doctor would have to go over the rest of the info for me later today.
I tried my best to remain positive but then at my doctors apt. she said I'm so sorry to tell you this, but they couldn't find a yolk sac or embryo but there is a gestational sack measuring 30 mm but at that measurement the fetal pole and yolk sack should be clearly visible by now. She said the gestational sack was also malformed, that it should be a perfect circle but that most likely there were chromosomal abnormalities and that I had choices to make when I was ready. I could wait and let my body do what it needed to do when it was ready, I could take pills and force a miscarriage, or I could get a D & C. I opted to let my body do what it needs to do and then erupted in tears. The doctor started crying too and hugged me and said take my time making my decision. Cried all the way home.
I'm SOOO sad. I told my husband when he got home and we both started crying and hugging and saying we'd get through this and that there must be some reason. We've had a lot of good talks in last couple hours. I've gone through a host of emotions including feeling tricked - like I thought I was pregnant and surprise, I never was. My body got all bloated and boobs larger and other pregnancy symptoms but no baby. But I digress...we are grateful for each other and the love we have and our hope is I'll be back on here in a couple months with a successful pregnancy.
Thank you all again so much. I think you are a wonderful group of women!