DS is 2.5. My goal was the spring after 2. We're a few months over that and its kind of getting on my nerves, especially when he wants to switch back and forth the whole entire night. We've been 'not offering' since probably 18 months. He just asks. I try to refuse but he's persistent. I really don't know how to go about things. He doesn't like nursing so much when there's no milk so I have some sage tea being delivered tomorrow. I don't want to stop things too abruptly though. Should I just drink one cup a day and see how it goes?
When she was about 18 months old I had to cut my daughter back from 10-14 times a day--she would have nursed all. the. time. if it were up to her (and she was night-weaned by this time!) and it was driving me up the wall. I reduced her frequency of nursing gradually. If she asked and I said no I would offer an alternate activity. She would hate it for a few days, but then she'd get used to the new limits and quit asking all the time. Over a period of a couple of months I cut back to 2 or 3 times a day using this method. When I felt like I was starting to go bonkers with nursing, I'd cut back a little more. By the time I found out I was pregnant, when she was a month shy of her second birthday, she was down to just one feeding in the morning. We dropped that one by changing her routine: instead of my husband bringing her in to me to nurse, he'd instead take her downstairs to eat breakfast. She did ask a few times after that and I nursed her one more time a few days after the day I had decided we'd be done. But a reply of "Let's go get a drink/snack" was acceptable to her most times.
I think "don't offer, don't refuse" probably works for some people, but it doesn't work that well when you have a kid who asks all the time. I would probably start by dropping whichever feeding is driving you the most bonkers, and offer an alternate activity. If it's day, offer a snack or game or a book; if it's at night, let him snuggle without nursing, or let him snuggle with daddy if daddy is available. He probably will not be thrilled... but if nursing is driving you around the bend, something has to give. Setting limits will not scar them for life.