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What name do you use for private parts? - Page 2

post #21 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by philomom View Post

I don't think its benign to teach a word in its wrong usage. Vagina is the inside part... its like saying your squishy is turned inside out. No one touches or even sees your vagina except your lover, midwife or your molester. For casual use and the part you may see while changing or diapering ... vulva or labia is the correct term! Grrr!

Yes, I understand that. Did you read everything i wrote?

To put more simply, "vulva" doesn't teach everything, either. Even using "vulva" and "vagina" together doesn't help educate that which encompasses female genitalia (see my arm and hand analogy). So if you're going to be nitpicky, you might as well go the full extent or not at all.

Also, i have not encountered as much hostility and judgment when it comes to naming body parts than with female genitalia. I think this has to do with the shame about the body parts themselves rather than the actual names. Its just easier to fixate on the labels rather than look at the underlying issues.

I just noticed you used the term "squishy". I hope you're joking. You just made a big deal about "vagina" and then you called it "your squishy being inside out".

I do not agree that only "your lover, midwife or your molester" are the only times when its touched or seen. You make it sound like this part belongs to other people, which is very disturbing. Self-exploration shouldn't be denied or glossed over. The vagina is a very important part of female genitalia because it is the part of us that is private, leads to our womb, allows menstrual blood to be flushed out every month, helps a baby come into the world, and is a huge source of pleasure, both with and without a partner. When i wipe myself and my daughter, i do not just wipe the vulva, i also wipe across the vaginal opening. Its important for girls to learn to wipe from front to back precisely because of the vaginal opening. Yeast infections happen inside the vagina and other infections can happen there, too. This shouldn't be ignored nor trivialized and especially not shamed.

The vagina is a great source of power and pride. Please do not belittle it or try to ignore it.
Edited by PrimordialMind - 7/21/13 at 4:24pm
post #22 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrimordialMind View Post

Yes, I understand that. Did you read everything i wrote?

To put more simply, "vulva" doesn't teach everything, either. Even using "vulva" and "vagina" together doesn't help educate that which encompasses female genitalia (see my arm and hand analogy). So if you're going to be nitpicky, you might as well go the full extent or not at all.

Well, as your child grows you can add urethra, clitoris and all kinds of other words. My kids both male and female knew all their parts. Yes, everyone uses shorthand words sometimes but its no excuse for your parents not teaching you the right words to parts all humans have. Even if you as the parent are squeamish on the subject.
post #23 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by philomom View Post

Well, as your child grows you can add urethra, clitoris and all kinds of other words. My kids both male and female knew all their parts. Yes, everyone uses shorthand words sometimes but its no excuse for your parents not teaching you the right words to parts all humans have. Even if you as the parent are squeamish on the subject.

I just added more to my previous comment. I didn't see that you had already commented, so read what i wrote if you like.

Also, the majority of people who commented on this thread alone only use the term "vulva". You are doing the exact same thing you don't like.
Edited by PrimordialMind - 7/21/13 at 4:22pm
post #24 of 38
Sigh, I never said your vagina belongs to other people. I'm just saying your vagina is not "out there" for casual touching, cleaning, changing that most of us do when parenting small children.

And I never said self-exploration or vaginas were shameful in any way, shape or form. I love mine but its never seen by anyone but my midwife or hubby. I've never had yeast infections or any troubles. That sounds terrible for you.

You really seem to have an ax to grind here but I guess I do, too. So its even.

I just want to encourage all new parents out there to use the real and correct terminology with their children! I think its very, very important!joy.gif
post #25 of 38

A vulva is the most obvious visible part and the first part that you interact with. As a girl grows she can be taught more terms, but I think not starting with vulva is a mistake. Thanks to the Vagina Monologues and probably other things as well, I think the word "vagina" is more out there than it used to be but a lot of people still seem to get squeamish about "vulva", which bugs me. 

post #26 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by philomom View Post

Sigh, I never said your vagina belongs to other people. I'm just saying your vagina is not "out there" for casual touching, cleaning, changing that most of us do when parenting small children.

And I never said self-exploration or vaginas were shameful in any way, shape or form. I love mine but its never seen by anyone but my midwife or hubby. I've never had yeast infections or any troubles. That sounds terrible for you.

You really seem to have an ax to grind here but I guess I do, too. So its even.

I just want to encourage all new parents out there to use the real and correct terminology with their children! I think its very, very important!joy.gif

WTH? "That sounds terrible for me"? I was giving examples of why its important to not neglect the term and education of the vagina, and for some reason you made what i said about me personally. How odd.

You can sigh all you want to, but your statement is, in fact, indicative of saying that that body part doesn't have any purpose except in relation to others. You are inadvertently teaching any daughters you may have this because of your approach.

So these "small children" you speak of? Do they not have any interest in their vaginas? When do you decide that its okay to teach them about it? Just because the vagina is not "out there" for parents to touch doesn't mean the child is unaware of it. Its not about the parents, its about the child and their experience. If you really stopped and thought about it, you might realize that their experience is or will be much wider than going potty.

Yeah, lets jump for joy for correct terminology. This is why i apparently have "an axe to grind" because i am sick of threads like these popping up and it is filled with mostly a chorus of "vulva" with barely any mention of "vagina". On top of that people get all worked up about "vagina", especially if it is used alone, even though that's what they're doing with "vulva". It is hypocritical and obnoxious. But, hey, i guess "squishy" works, too, right?
post #27 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by erigeron View Post

A vulva is the most obvious visible part and the first part that you interact with. As a girl grows she can be taught more terms, but I think not starting with vulva is a mistake. Thanks to the Vagina Monologues and probably other things as well, I think the word "vagina" is more out there than it used to be but a lot of people still seem to get squeamish about "vulva", which bugs me. 

I actually see more people getting squeamish about "vagina". They act like its a dirty word. There is nothing remotely dirty about it. Which term to teach first is a debatable issue, just because something can be more easily seen doesn't give it precedence over something else. For example, the stomach and intestines cant be seen but a lot of people, including kids, have issues with them. Does that mean we shouldn't teach the terms because they can't see them? Some little girls enjoy playing with and sticking things in their vaginas and they don't pay much attention to their vulvas. So before you assume a one-size-fits-all for every girl, maybe you shouldn't make a big deal about individual choices.
post #28 of 38
The question was "what name for private parts?". I said "vulva" because it is the collective term we have taught our daughter. It doesn't mean it's the only term we've taught. As others have said, it is the most obvious part and, for her, the part she noticed first. As she has asked more and as things have come up we have added new words. The vocabulary evolves as she grows and explores.

I imagine my second daughter will have some of these terms earlier because she will hear her sister using them.
post #29 of 38
Bravo! I can't believe someone is getting upset about vagina but uses squishy. Also, "how terrible for you" is incredibly condescending and presumptuous. Mdc at its best!

Quote:
Originally Posted by PrimordialMind View Post

WTH? "That sounds terrible for me"? I was giving examples of why its important to not neglect the term and education of the vagina, and for some reason you made what i said about me personally. How odd.

You can sigh all you want to, but your statement is, in fact, indicative of saying that that body part doesn't have any purpose except in relation to others. You are inadvertently teaching any daughters you may have this because of your approach.

So these "small children" you speak of? Do they not have any interest in their vaginas? When do you decide that its okay to teach them about it? Just because the vagina is not "out there" for parents to touch doesn't mean the child is unaware of it. Its not about the parents, its about the child and their experience. If you really stopped and thought about it, you might realize that their experience is or will be much wider than going potty.

Yeah, lets jump for joy for correct terminology. This is why i apparently have "an axe to grind" because i am sick of threads like these popping up and it is filled with mostly a chorus of "vulva" with barely any mention of "vagina". On top of that people get all worked up about "vagina", especially if it is used alone, even though that's what they're doing with "vulva". It is hypocritical and obnoxious. But, hey, i guess "squishy" works, too, right?
post #30 of 38

Did I mention those crazy Romans yet?  orngtongue.gif

post #31 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by swede View Post

Bravo! I can't believe someone is getting upset about vagina but uses squishy. Also, "how terrible for you" is incredibly condescending and presumptuous. Mdc at its best!

Thank you blush.gif. Sometimes i just can't bite my tongue anymore! When someone says they actually feel ashamed for teaching the word "vagina" instead of "vulva" and that feeling is created and continuously reinforced by moms like the ones who post in this thread, i get angry. That is sickening and i cant help but be furious.
post #32 of 38

Vulva and penis generally. Sometimes we use "bottom" generally too. Teaching "vagina" to kids drives me crazy. 

post #33 of 38
I'd like to add that much of our society is still stuck on debating whether its better to teach cute names vs. vagina or vulva. Most people are not at the level of debating vagina vs. vulva. I don't know if its a sign of intelligence to go to this extreme or a sign that some people are so sick of the dumb, cutesy names that they can't help but react and become fiercely technical.
post #34 of 38

we are trying to be cute so I taught my child to call "back petpet" or "front petpet" his private parts.

post #35 of 38

At home we use the correct names...I want her know what they are actually called..But in public I use Private Area...

 

I have a friend who calls her daughters private area her cookie though ROTFLMAO.gif

post #36 of 38
Totally guilty of calling the whole shebang a vagina or 'outside of your vagina'. Vulva just sounds SO creepy to me.....why does it? And vagina sounds kinda fun! Most other parts are there to support/protect it, right? It is kind of the main attraction.

We always do balls and butt too because they sound lighthearted and real. Guess I want the kids to feel comfortable not stressed talking about bodies. Although of course we do study the more scientific terms just to prep for the BIG QUIZ.
post #37 of 38

Ever told a child to "wipe your mouth" when the mess is only on her lips?  How about "my stomach hurts" when the pain might really be coming from your intestine, uterus, or liver?

 

Indeed, "vagina" is the technically correct term only for the inside part, but I don't think that makes it horribly wrong to use the word more generally.  I grew up saying "vagina" as a collective term for "female genitals" and did not find it anything like confusing to learn the correct terms for the specific parts.  It was exactly like learning that "stomach" technically means one specific internal organ, not the entire front squishy part of the torso and all its contents.  No big deal.

 

I have only a son, and he's not been very interested in discussing female bodies except when asking about birth, so "private parts" has been an adequate term most of the time, although we did tell him the names of the basic external female organs when we first talked about that.  We didn't teach "vestibular fossa" and "fourchette" because it didn't seem necessary.  He's also not been very interested in discussing his own parts, except when he noticed some boys are circumcised and asked about it, so he knows "penis" and "foreskin" but I'm not sure that "scrotum" or "testicles" are words he could retrieve from memory at this point.

post #38 of 38

Vulva and penis.

My son came home from his dad's once when he was maybe four and said something about his "winkydonker" it made me cringe and we started using penis. I have no idea what we said before that. It made his dad really mad "What if he goes to school and says his penis hurts?" Um... His teacher will think his penis hurts? Would you rather him look goofy by saying Winkydonker?

 

Anyway, to my knowledge, he has only said penis since then. Unless he says something else at his dad's.

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