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Fess up! What do you do that doesn't jive with attachment parenting and/or natural family living? - Page 6

post #101 of 124

I also drive an SUV, don't buy organic foods (but I try to grow or make whatever I know how ;-) ), let my kids watch TV and play {gasp} video games (educational/kid friendly), I had ultrasounds during all of my 4 pregnancies, I use disposable diapers and wipes, eat junk once in a while. No one is perfect and no one is better than anyone because of the way they choose to live. While it is nice to educate people and get the info out there about alternatives we can't expect that what works for one will work for another. This post is great! TY

post #102 of 124
Before they were conceived, half my children's genetic material was mailed to me in a tiny plastic vial cryogenically preserved in a tank of liquid nitrogen. And I don't even know if the plastic vial was BPA-free!
post #103 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by seraf View Post

Before they were conceived, half my children's genetic material was mailed to me in a tiny plastic vial cryogenically preserved in a tank of liquid nitrogen. And I don't even know if the plastic vial was BPA-free!

ROTFLMAO.gif

post #104 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by LiasMommy View Post

 

I don't recycle peanut butter jars because it is too difficult to rinse them.

 

 

Me too! Anything that takes more than a few rinses goes into regular trash in our house. We still recycle a TON of stuff, though. But then maybe that is a bad thing because we are generating too much waste!  orngtongue.gif

post #105 of 124

This thread is so wonderful! I know that nobody is perfect, but it's nice to own up to it without criticism. Very cathartic!

 

We have a nearly one-year-old.

 

-She's fully vaxed

-She doesn't do full baby-led weaning, and I buy her purees pre-made. 

-Wears sposies at night and during travel

-I love my Baby Jogger CityMini stroller, and she loves it, too! I sometimes feels it's more convenient than baby-wearing.

-DD plays with my iPhone at least once a day

-She has cried in her crib, and I let her... I needed a time-out!

 

 

Phew!

post #106 of 124

I came here originally believing in Natural Family Parenting as the natural answer.  Since giving birth I have become quite disillusioned with not only that but many things I was inspired to try as a result of coming here. Especially seeing some of the fear-based, anti-authority, and ideologically judgmental beliefs, I would say I'm much more of a science and medicine kind of gal than most here.  I sometimes question whether I should be on the forum at all. But I respect a lot of moms on here and can use the help and it has been great to have some support.

 

I believe in the idea of Attachment Parenting, and I love the support and knowledge and experience some of the moms here have; moms who have been through trials and figured out some pretty useful stuff doctors are clueless about.  I think this site is the reason I never gave into CIO techniques that my pediatricians all push on me and am sooo glad.  I think we are all mostly conscientious moms who love our kids very much; not women who treat our kids like trophies or pets, as so many women do.  This forum attracts a better, more educated, more interested group than many others.

 

That said, I drive an SUV (DH insisted), do all vaccinations (one visit to India will change how anyone sees vaccinations), have a chlorinated pool, am hoping to schedule an elective c-section, hate cloth diapering, have decided co-sleeping is not best for me or bebe, think that it is ok to ignore your child a little bit under certain circumstances, use a stroller sometimes, and am not really in on the natural bandwagon at all aside from it being a "direction", but not a "lifestyle".  The word "natural" is a gimmick to sell people stuff in my internet world opinion.

 

That said, there are many pioneers on this site who are bringing back wisdom from the past that my male and corporate dominated world of information in the medical and greater parenting community badly lacks.  It's hilarious when my hospital nurse hands me a flyer about skin-to-skin benefits with a baby.  That has been common knowledge on this site for years and years and they think they are so edgy.  

post #107 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by demeter888 View Post

I came here originally believing in Natural Family Parenting as the natural answer.  Since giving birth I have become quite disillusioned with not only that but many things I was inspired to try as a result of coming here. Especially seeing some of the fear-based, anti-authority, and ideologically judgmental beliefs, I would say I'm much more of a science and medicine kind of gal than most here.  I sometimes question whether I should be on the forum at all. But I respect a lot of moms on here and can use the help and it has been great to have some support.

 

I believe in the idea of Attachment Parenting, and I love the support and knowledge and experience some of the moms here have; moms who have been through trials and figured out some pretty useful stuff doctors are clueless about.  I think this site is the reason I never gave into CIO techniques that my pediatricians all push on me and am sooo glad.  I think we are all mostly conscientious moms who love our kids very much; not women who treat our kids like trophies or pets, as so many women do.  This forum attracts a better, more educated, more interested group than many others.

 

That said, I drive an SUV (DH insisted), do all vaccinations (one visit to India will change how anyone sees vaccinations), have a chlorinated pool, am hoping to schedule an elective c-section, hate cloth diapering, have decided co-sleeping is not best for me or bebe, think that it is ok to ignore your child a little bit under certain circumstances, use a stroller sometimes, and am not really in on the natural bandwagon at all aside from it being a "direction", but not a "lifestyle".  The word "natural" is a gimmick to sell people stuff in my internet world opinion.

 

That said, there are many pioneers on this site who are bringing back wisdom from the past that my male and corporate dominated world of information in the medical and greater parenting community badly lacks.  It's hilarious when my hospital nurse hands me a flyer about skin-to-skin benefits with a baby.  That has been common knowledge on this site for years and years and they think they are so edgy.  

Demeter, it's probably a bit too serious for this thread winky.gif  but it would be fun to discuss how AP has incredible merits even if one never even gets into the NFL side of things. Mothering happens to have its origins in both, but the AP stuff and brain science/development and how babies and mamas "work" (the neurology) could stand alone!

post #108 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by genniemom View Post

I love this thread. Rather than listing all of my many non AP practices, I would like to admit that I put on a façade when I'm around other AP parents. I pack special organic snacks instead of the junk my kids usually eat. I make sure to bring my secondhand American-made cloth diapers instead of the Chinese sweatshop ones that comprise most of my supply. I wear my baby during the whole outing instead of handing him off or setting him down. I yell way less than usual and act surprised when my children hit or bite other kids. "He's never done that before!" I feel self-conscious about the fact that I am overweight, as if it proves that I'm not living a healthy lifestyle.

I love having a category to encompass the ideals surrounding most of the choices I make, but I do not feel like I have to adhere to absolutely everything. In certain situations, I have to make a decision between adhering to the AP label or doing what works for me. I do what feels right. Some things I'm working on changing, but I'm doing so very slowly and deliberately so as not to overwhelm myself. Most of the time, I feel very satisfied. Other times, I decide to change. I really hope that I haven't contributed to making other mothers feel inadequate.

THIS!

Why do we do this?!

I once went to a book club and did not change my daughters wet diaper because I had her in a disposable and was among cloth-only mamas. I didn't want them to see that I didn't CD 100% of the time.

I then felt like a horrible mama and realized how ridiculous I was acting, but I still fear judgment from other AP/NFL moms.
post #109 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissElliephant View Post

THIS!

Why do we do this?!

I once went to a book club and did not change my daughters wet diaper because I had her in a disposable and was among cloth-only mamas. I didn't want them to see that I didn't CD 100% of the time.

I then felt like a horrible mama and realized how ridiculous I was acting, but I still fear judgment from other AP/NFL moms.

I didn't realize that some moms feel the need to pretend they do things they don't and hide other things because they're afraid of judgment. This is sad to me. Nobody is perfect and just because a mom practices AP doesn't mean she holds power over others. I don't know about anyone else, but i personally haven't made it a habit of judging the little things, like a baby wearing a disposable diaper or a non-organic snack. Things like that are so trivial in the grand scheme of things. However, if i see a mom verbally or physically abusing a kid, that's when i cant help but judge and get angry. Short of that, i allow for differences since we're not cookie cutters nor do i think any of us want to be.
post #110 of 124
Let's see:
My children are fully vaccinated.
I had both of them in hospital - they have a really nice whirrlepool there. That beats the old bathtub at home by the landslide.
I introduced solids already after at five months of exclusive breastfeeding.
My children and I eat tons of ice cream in summer (the organic one, but still), and chocolate for the rest of the year.
I completely and utterly fail at house cleaning. It doesn't even matter that I buy ecologically okay cleaning products every other year or so, because I never use them anyways.
My children do watch movies and some you-tube.
The worst one is, I do slap once in a while.
post #111 of 124

We eat the occasional fast food :)

We don't have cable but I let her watch movies.

We don't eat all Organic.

She wore disposable diapers until potty trained.

I tell her No and occasionally have to send her to timeout.

I do let her have sugar...Natural sugar but sugar..

I buy her plastic toys..

I use as much natural cleaner as I can but I also have a bottle of Bleachy cleaner because I do have cats :/

 

When someone invites her to Chucky Cheese I say YES(she does eat the gluten free pizza though) :0

 

Prob have lots more but I will leave it at that...lol

post #112 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissElliephant View Post


THIS!

Why do we do this?!

I once went to a book club and did not change my daughters wet diaper because I had her in a disposable and was among cloth-only mamas. I didn't want them to see that I didn't CD 100% of the time.

I then felt like a horrible mama and realized how ridiculous I was acting, but I still fear judgment from other AP/NFL moms.

 

I hope you don't feel so horrible/afraid any more!  I have seen that there are always going to be some who judge and criticize in every group, and crunchy moms are far from an exception, ironically.  There is a fringe group of moms who just want to challenge the status quo because they are paranoid or control freaks or both; they do the right things for the wrong reasons.  So, I can see how being judgmental would make them feel all the more morally superior.  Thankfully most are not like that but a few bad apples is all it takes to scare the rest of us away from what should be a supportive community.

post #113 of 124

Everything I do I feel is very compatible with attachment parenting, but it's possible some on the mothering board wouldn't agree.

 

For instance, I vaccinate my son. I think you can be an attachment mom who vaccinates.

 

Other than that, we keep things pretty simple so a lot of what I do is pretty classic AP. We breastfed and co-slept and I wore him. We cloth diaper and did the baby led weaning thing. We don't really have junk food or sweets often, although I do allow him to drink juice which some moms find shocking.

 

I do let him watch some tv and play with my phone.

post #114 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by MichelleZB View Post

Everything I do I feel is very compatible with attachment parenting, but it's possible some on the mothering board wouldn't agree.

For instance, I vaccinate my son. I think you can be an attachment mom who vaccinates.

Totally agree. I don't actually think vaccination has anything to do with AP way or the other. NFL maybe but not AP.
post #115 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by katelove View Post


Totally agree. I don't actually think vaccination has anything to do with AP way or the other. NFL maybe but not AP.

This is the big distinction for me too. We're 100% AP, not even 50% NFL. I don't feel the two are mutually inclusive. Loosely linked, yes. Necessary to one another, no.

 

We're all about gentle/non-punititve parenting, babywearing, breastfeeding, homeschooling, not circ'ing, etc. But when it comes to NFL well... we do what we can but don't go far out of our way. We recycle religiously, have a no-waste home in terms of food, have reusable water bottles, CD, and have solar for our home and recreation needs, but we also use real TP, tampons (well, I do, I hope DH doesn't :D), selectively vax, drive a big ol' van and go on vacation and stuff.

post #116 of 124

I don't know what NFL means, so... sure!

post #117 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by MichelleZB View Post

I don't know what NFL means, so... sure!

Natural Family Living... AKA crunchy stuff!

post #118 of 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dela View Post

Natural Family Living... AKA crunchy stuff!

Ah! Well that is indeed difficult to define!

 

I find I do a lot of things like gardening, cloth diapers, no paper towels, re-using containers, etc. because it is cheaper, and out of a concern for the environment.

 

We don't eat a lot of processed foods because they are not good for you.

 

Some people, however, lump in some things I consider quackery, like homeopathy. We don't do any of that.

 

I think an important component to AP is the approach to discipline, and we definitely have a very gentle approach over here.

post #119 of 124

xbox, wii, iPad, etc....   They do have limits per day as to how many minutes, but they are a big part of their lives, which I definitely have mixed feelings about.

post #120 of 124

A thread where we can brag about circumcising, CIO and spanking on Mothering, yay!

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