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How to help 4.5 year old be more confident?  

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
Any ideas would be great!

My 4.5 year old is a sweet little girl - quite reserved when she doesn't know people, but warms up to people quite quickly. Especially in situations where her dad and I are around - she does well.

I'm introverted myself, and I dont' want my dd to every feel 'less than' because she is reserved, you know?

She goes to preschool three times a week, and loves it - is always eager to go, often doesn't want to be picked up, etc., etc. She has several little friends there and they always seem happy to see her (and she them).

My problem - she is very, very reserved with the teachers. So much so, for example, that she won't ask them to go to the bathroom when she needs to go!

And at lunch time, there are times when the staff forget to hand out desserts to children who've brought them (some children eat the lunch provided at the nursery, while others bring a lunch, so it can get hectic). I've thought about just asking that she be given her whole lunch (and probably will do that) at once - but I still want her to have the confidence to be able to raise her hand and ask for her dessert, you know?

Any ideas?
post #2 of 5
Your dd sounds like a real sweetie--she just needs some practice asserting herself! (I can relate....)

Have you tried role-play? Using puppets, or just adopting roles yourselves, to practice asking for the things she needs?
post #3 of 5
Could you give her an opportunity to get to know the teachers better? One of my son's preschool teachers is a student and babysits on the side, so we've had her over here a few times when we needed to hire a babysitter. Of course, that might not be feasible, but I thought I'd suggest it.

I'd recommend bringing this up with the head teacher and seeing what ideas s/he has to help your dd. They may not even realize this is a problem. Perhaps they could have a moment in the day when they ask if anyone needs to use the bathroom or something (or even ask your daughter individually) to make her more comfortable speaking up. Good luck!

Becca
post #4 of 5
Thread Starter 
Oh my goodness - I am usually very good about coming back to threads I start, but I somehow missed this one. I'm sorry - I'm not usually so rude!

Thanks so much Beccabo and Sunnmama for your ideas. I think role playing is a great idea, and will maybe try to do some of that with dd1.

She's leaving preschool in another couple of weeks for school - yikes! It will be interesting to see how that goes as far as speaking up for herself, etc.

So ironic, as she has no trouble at all telling her Dad and I that she wants/doesn't want something! :LOL
post #5 of 5
If she puts her hand in the air, will her teacher come close to her so she can speak quietly to her?
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Mothering › Forums › Parenting › Ages and Stages › The Childhood Years › How to help 4.5 year old be more confident?