When are you announcing your pregnancy?
arreedrn78~Two trains of thoughts on this, waiting til second trimester where risk of miscarriage is lower so that if it does happen you will not have to tell everyone over and over that you are no longer expecting or you can tell everyone and have a big support group to help you through a difficult time if, God forbid, a miscarriage does happen. It depends on your personality.
Well I'm really sick and starving so it's forced my hand a bit. We've told close friend's and family, I told a board that hosts some of what's left of Amity'(an old attatcment parenting forum), and I told my boss so he'd know that I wasn't being lazy when my time/numbers took a dive.
We were going to wait to tell the kids until three months, but my kids are like the littlest Sherlocks here, and I have a policy about honesty so I can't really directly lie to them. LOL Got myself in a bind there don't I? But the children are already horribly offended that I won't tell them that I'm pregnant, since that is what they suspect is the problem. We will probably tell them this weekend.
We will wait on a general/facebook announcement till three months probably, but again as sick as I am, and as quickly as my muscles are giving up the ghost....i don't think anyone won't know in another month. lol
I've told my main people. I'm one that doesn't keep anything quiet. If you tell early you have to fuss with talking about a miscarriage if it happens. I found that I didn't mind that when I did miscarry - I was sad and this was why. Any almost everyone I knew had had one, so it was very comforting.
I will probably wait for the big Facebook reveal until I've had blood tests. Probably. :)
We've already told his parents, sister and grandmother but not a single person in my family. He was super excited and it just kind of slipped when he was talking to his mom as this is his first. I don't want my family to know yet for a couple of reasons. 1. We are not married and I don't want to choke down the backhanded comments I'm sure to endure from my mother and 2. I can't stand the comments like, "you DO know what causes that right?!" because I already have 3 from my first marriage. My grandfather actually made the comment with my last one "you won't be BREEDING anymore, will you?" I wanted to die and it has really stuck with me. His family on the other hand has been super ecstatic and supportive and has agreed that "mums" the word until I tell my family. His mom, sister, and grandmother started crying with joy when he told them lol. The grandma was actually crying hysterically and was having trouble breathing she was so excited lol.
I'm with Seattlemomma and the two trains of thought. We haven't told anyone-except all of you! I'm still getting used to the idea. With my first I waited until 12 weeks when I had an ultrasound and saw the heartbeat. I had no worries or concerns about a healthy baby, testing for different things in utero, this time I do, and I'm not sure I really want to deal with all my friends/family/co-workers yet on anything that might end up to be difficult. I live in a tight community and word will spread like wild fire so I am hesitant to tell anyone. I only had one ultrasound with the last baby and am just seeing on these forums that people are avoiding them. The doctors office told me today I will have one in 4 weeks, which would be 9 weeks which to me still seems early to tell folks - but I can't see how we will wait until 12 weeks. I feel like I'm not being completely honest with my son, but he'll want to tell his dad, step mom, his friends etc- and that is ok- it's going to be a big change for us. Also with the tight community people from my work will find out and I am just not sure what I'm going to do about work yet.
Am I wishy washy or what?
I was one of those people who said, well I'll tell some friends and if I m/c, then I'll just have to tell them, it happens, no big deal. But then it did happen, and it sucked. But, it did feel good talking about it, and low and behold, I became pregnant about 20 days after the m/c...whooopeee! I read a stat on mayoclinic.com that said less than 5% of women m/c twice, consecutively, so feeling very positive and want to tell the world. BUT, my only advice is if you are not one of those people who feel comfortable having your business out there, wait wait wait!!! i just saw someone announced at 4 weeks on facebook, praying nothing goes wrong.......
I told soem of my clients that I am close with (I teach a boot camp class and I am very close to the girls in it) but we haven't told anyone else. They all knew I was trying and I had just announced that I wasn't going to do the class anymore and then I got my BFP, so I wanted them to know.
We won't tell family or the kids until we see a heartbeat. I THINK I will go get an ultrasound around 8 weeks and then the Materni21 test at 10 weeks and then tell everyone. This will be my IL's first grandchild, so they will be super-excited. My family won't care.
See that is my issue exactly. I have high functioning autism/aspergers and discussions about that sort of stuff are both confusing and horrifying for me. The last time I had a miscarriage I only told my mom and my best friend and I ended up comforting her when I told her. I seriously just don't know how to function inside those conversations. Dh would like me to want to tell more people, especially my geeky guy friends but they don't care about babies and I don't like talking about my feelings. So I'd really really rather not. What if i lose the baby? and even if I don't lose the baby, I still have to struggle through an awkward conversation with someone who fundamentally does not care. yuck.I already look three months pregnant anyway, people are gonna figure it out lol. so far I've really only wanted to tell women. Women are excited about the new life just on theory. Men, feel awkwardly obligated to congratulate you on your loss of freedom and increased responsibility. lol I know about all that and don't feel the need to exist through that conversation...if that makes ay sense.
The best and most hoped for response ever!This is great! I told my niece, because my daughter practically blurted it out while we were have a girls night. She was so excited and gave me hugs. I love those kind of responses. Everyone should respond this way! We have enough to deal with without negative feedback to add to our baggage.
Last pregnancy I waited until an u/s confirmed a heartbeat (9 or 10 weeks, I think).
This time, I told right away. I wasn't going to but our chicks hatched out, our cat had kittens and I got a bfp all in one day. That's something to share, imo! :)
I have been thinking about "what if" but not telling people doesn't make a person not miscarry. I respect those that want to wait though... I'm just not that person!
We are waiting as long as possible. I've miscarried in the past, but the main reason is I am not ready to tell my mother in law yet. I know we are in for a huge lecture because we have a lot going on right now, I am very busy with work, starting homeschooling this year (which our family is not on board with) and our 5 year old is autistic, so every time we get pregnant we always get asked "if that's a good idea, my hands are so full already." Not to mention everyone asking me if we are trying to catch up to the Duggars. It seems like everyone I run into asks how many kids I have again. (We're only on #4!). So we are mostly delaying for that reason. I'm not sure i'll ever do a facebook reveal or anything, just tell friends/family and word of mouth can travel.