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Birth Plan

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 

I am working on getting my birth plan together for my husband and little reminders for myself. I am 28 weeks now, and I feel like I should get this together. My mom will also be there to help take care of our other children, and I was wanting some pointers for her also. This is just for birth plan related items. I have cheat sheets for emergency situations already. My birth plan is coming together pretty well, but I could use some input. Here is what I have so far:

 

 Ashley’s Birth Plan

In Case of Emergency call 911

 

Once Ashley confirms labor has truly started Sean needs to:

            Call Cora, Tamara, Grandparents, and Shannon; explain severity of symptoms.

            Ask Cora to pick up kids from school if necessary.

Start setting/filling up birth tub 94-98 degrees.

Help Ashley take a shower, get comfortably dressed, and apply makeup if she desires.

Make sure Ashley drinks at least a few sips of water/juice every few minutes, and goes to the restroom at least once per hour.

 

Once people arrive at our home:

Shannon can start taking photos: many photos of all the kids, family, birth supplies, things all set up, all stages of labor/positions/support/etc. Photos of EVERYTHING!!!!

Sean, Cora, and Tamara needs to start setting up and laying out all of the birth supplies, warm compresses need to be placed in crock-pot of hot water, get container for placenta, and something for Ashley to throw up in.

Make sure there are easy snacks (fruits, finger foods, cheese and crackers, etc) and drinks for Ashley to intake to keep up energy.

Clean things around the house and make sure kids are happy and occupied to ease stress from Ashley.

Make sure Ashley drinks at least a few sips of water/juice every few minutes, and uses the restroom at least once per hour.

 

Tips to help Ashley through labor:

            Offer to rub Ashley’s feet, back, legs, shoulders, head, hands, etc.

Apply counter pressure to either side of her hips/lower back hard enough to spread hips and relieve pressure; she will tell verbally guide you through this.

Encourage Ashley to change positions when she isn’t coping well; positions to offer include: hands-and-knees, sitting on ball, bent over counter/bed, holding on to someone, swaying hips back and forth, getting into birth tub, taking a shower, and laying down to rest.

While in birth tub, use a cup to pour water down Ashley’s back, down arm, and down the back of her head.

post #2 of 10

You know the people around you, and you've done this before, so you're the best one to be the judge of this - but if it was me, I'd want to make sure that things like 'make sure' and 'encourage' aren't taken the wrong way, and would suggest words like 'suggest' or 'offer' instead. I'm one of those people who just wants to do my think in labour and I'd fair throttle anyone who tried to make me move or drink (and some people really do think they're helping by barking orders or taking charge). My mother is the panicky type - despite being a retired nurse - and doesn't deal well with me being in labour (she says stupid, annoying things) so she's at her most helpful with a specific task like child minding or boiling water. It's so hard to know how people will react that it may help to let your partner know that he's in charge and is to speak for you to redirect or shoo anyone who is annoying you, if you're unable to do it for yourself.

post #3 of 10
Thread Starter 
Thank you. That makes sense. My husband knows he is in charge of delegating tasks to people. Him and I have talked about it in great lengths. My mom, sister, and grandparents are in charge of my other four children, making food, and cleaning the house mainly. I do well with encouragement. I am greatful for your input.
post #4 of 10

If there's one thing I've learned about labor and birth, it's that you cannot plan too many of the details of it.  I like to dream about my ideal birth, but I accept it probably won't happen exactly as I imagine it.  My husband's job during my labor/birth is to do whatever I tell him to at the moment.  :)

post #5 of 10
Thread Starter 
smile.gif I realize a lot of it will be just whatever happens, but I wanted at least a small guide for my husband; I want him to have some pointers. Is there anything anyone found during labor to be helpful? I'm afraid I will not remember any possible means of coping if I don't write them down. I'm too much of a list maker I think. Lol
post #6 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Almi View Post

If there's one thing I've learned about labor and birth, it's that you cannot plan too many of the details of it.  I like to dream about my ideal birth, but I accept it probably won't happen exactly as I imagine it.  My husband's job during my labor/birth is to do whatever I tell him to at the moment.  :)

 


True that, but then, I want people to know what I *really* want, not just what I might say I want in the moment. I screamed for drugs I didn't want the first time around, and was duly given them, instead of being supported through transition. The side effects sucked :(

post #7 of 10
Thread Starter 
My husband knows he is to redirect me as many times as needed if I ask for drugs. I don't want them and he knows that. He needs lists and guides or he will just panic seeing me in pain. I'm trying to prepare him as much as possible. Thank you for the replies.
post #8 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by abk51673 View Post

smile.gif I realize a lot of it will be just whatever happens, but I wanted at least a small guide for my husband; I want him to have some pointers. Is there anything anyone found during labor to be helpful? I'm afraid I will not remember any possible means of coping if I don't write them down. I'm too much of a list maker I think. Lol

 

I'm a list maker too, which is why I'm sharing with you how little I plan my births, lol.  Having a guide for your husband is great actually, I just wouldn't make it too detailed or anything.  You might end up with your husband greatly annoying you when all he's trying to do is fulfill your guide.  Of course if you don't mind him bothering you with things, that's different, but I know that when I'm in labor I'd just rather not be bothered with anything unless I ask.

 

I also want to warn planners and list makers that if you are able to "let go" and give up control of your birth, it will most likely go more smoothly.  That's why it makes me nervous to see such a detailed birth plan.  I say plan your boat (place of birth), gather your supplies, choose your shipmates, and then just ride the waves (not plan the waves), unless of course it's not going to upset you if none of your plan is followed.  But I know that I'd be upset and have anxiety over my "plan."  The anticipation alone kills me, but then if things start to not go according to plan I get pretty upset.  Which is the only reason I'm giving you advice...maybe you're not like me at all though.  Just figured I'd share my two cents anyway. :)

I found it really helpful to practice breathing and relaxation when I had BH contractions.  There's also an easy method of learning how to cope with pain if you're not having any tough contractions before labor.  What you do is take a piece of ice and hold it in your fist for about a minute (the length of a labor contraction).  It'll start to hurt...that's where you can practice coping techniques.  My favorite coping techniques are breathing, having something to focus on, relaxation, and one that I think I got from the book Birthing From Within.  What you do is think about a part of your body that doesn't hurt, and focus on that part instead of the part that hurts.  Suddenly your pain will lessen.  It's really interesting; try it next time you're in pain.

post #9 of 10

I think redirecting nervous people definitely helps. My mother pissed me off when she didn't have tasks to do like boiling water or making coffee. Some people do well under pressure, some don't. My husband said it helped him greatly, as a 'mechanical' sort of person, to have the job of inflating and filling the birth pool, getting the temp right & keeping it that way...heck, he's an engineer and beforehand he was calculating fill rates and whether the beams would support the weight ;-) It took his mind off things he couldn't control or take away - my pain, scary unexpected complications...the sort of things that plague an idle man's mind.

I did have a relatively detailed plan, which was mainly a list of do-not-wants for the midwives. But I've changed my mind, and I no longer feel comfortable with them respecting my wishes if they're in the room, so I'm simply going to request that they remain downstairs until if & when *I* want them. I've asked my mother to child-mind and occupy the midwives with cups of coffee - fortunately, she seemed to seize that opportunity with relief. She's wonderful with the kids, and a wonderful support before and afterwards, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings by saying outright "You don't deal well with intense situations and say the wrong things and I don't want you in the room". This is where assigned tasks can really work wonders!
 

post #10 of 10
Thread Starter 
My birth plan is more of a stress relief for me. I don't feel a need for it to be followed, but if my husband does not have tasks like "call someone to watch the kids, fill the tub, etc" he will ask me every 5 minutes what to do, and that will make me crazy! The birth plan relieves stress by giving me the illusion of being able to control things right now. I make millions of lists for family vacations that never go the way I "plan," but the lists help me feel less chaos in the before stages. If any of this makes sense. I am sure I will completely play it by ear wants it actually starts, but my husband would be lost without my lists. Lol. He also knows I want to labor alone for the most part unless I ask for him or someone else. My mom and sister are assigned to kids, cooking, cleaning, and making cake! I appreciate all of your advice! I plan to practice the ice thing, and focusing on different parts of my body during pain. Thank you so much!
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