I know most of you have younger children, but I would like your thoughts/opinion anyway.
I am living with my fiance. I have a 25 year old DD, he has a DS 23 and another DS who is 20. We all get along great!
The question is...after graduation/college, when a "child" no longer comes home/lives with you, how long do you wait to change the childs room into something that is needed for the home? To be upfront with everyone *I* would prefer to have all 3 kids living with us, FT...so would my FH...but the boys dislike living in the country. The younger boy went to one year of a 2 year tech program. He hasn't spent the night here in 1 1/2 years. We see him often, he just doesn't "live" here anymore.
Currently when my family/friends come to visit (I moved in with my FH, which is a couple hours away from my previous home) they sleep on the couches or floors (which I am fine with). However, knowing there is a perfectly good bed upstairs not being used, I'd like to allow guests to use that room. The 20 year old has made it clear that he doesn't want anyone in "his" room. So, for the time being, I continue to have guests sleep on the couches/floor.
I am wondering...how long do we wait to change the room around? We've explained to him that it will still be "his" room. He can still stay here whenever he wants...the room is still there, his stuff is still there, just not "out". He says he's not sure what his plans are and he wants to leave his room the way it is. I am fine with this...to a point. I don't feel we need to keep it as it is forever...but I am fine with leaving it alone for a while...just trying to figure out what that "while" is.
Like I said, he hasn't stayed here one night in one and half years. He does store his snowboarding stuff here, and has some clothes here still, but hasn't used any of the stuff in his room (which is still matchbox car and farm "toys").
At this point he's still living with his mom (who lives close to his work).
I don't want him to feel that he's being kicked out or not welcome here...but I'm getting a little tired of changing the bedding...not because anyone slept there...because it's all getting dusty!!! :)
Any thoughts? (and yes, his dad is the one who has the conversations with him...I'm just looking for your thoughts on how long one waits to change the kids room into a guest room/work out room/craft room/man cave/etc)