My little one is 29 months old.
He often does not respond to me talking to him.
It's becoming increasingly hard to get him to make eye contact.
He's begun spinning, chewing his fingers, sensory seeking like crazy.
He has very little attention span at all- he can't stand up facing me long enough for me to pull his pants up after a diaper change, heck, each diaper change takes 5 minutes or more, because he cannot/will not lay on his back or stand up straight long enough for me to do so quickly.
He's never been a good sleeper, very hard to get to sleep, very sensitive to sounds and lights that wake him out.
He's very particular about what goes were, OCD like, such as each toy has it's own spot on a particular toy shelf. (He may have learned that from me- I'm a bit OCD.)
He sometimes plays with toys correctly, though often throws toys in the air or just lines them up.
He's very verbal, has been very verbal early on, but he's at the age where he should be able to be carrying on conversations, and I'm noticing more and more, he's only good at his part of the conversation, not so much the listening to me or the give and take.
I've noticed lately that he doesn't seem to "get" what I'm saying sometimes, things I know he knows. An example that kinda freaked me out this weekend was, I was trying to close the hatch back of my fiance's van, and I had my hands full of groceries, so I couldn't physically move him, so I repeatedly said, in different wordings and tones, "James, you need to move so I can close the van, James, look up- the door is gonna bump your head. James, look at Mom-Mom", etc, but he was completely zoned out and did not respond. He had a completely blank look on his face that I'd never seen on his older brother (his older brother has Asperger's, it should be noted). After about two minutes of calling his name, I finally caught his attention, and he was looking at me, but had a look on his face like I was speaking a completely different language. At that point, my fiance came out to see if there were more bags, and put his hands on James' shoulders, which got James' attention, and then told James (with words and with hand gestures) that he needed to move so that I could close the back of the van, and then James "got it". Two, three months ago, he would have "got it" almost immediately. This really scared me.
He's aggressive towards others, but sometimes it's just for the heck of it, such as swinging his arms and hitting someone.
He cannot sit still to save his life.
He's extremely intelligent- when tested when he was 23 months, he was testing on a 3-4 year old level in many areas.
He has someone come from the local Pediatric Development Center an hour once a week, and they see none of this- he sits like a perfect angel, pays attention, does everything he's asked to do, etc. The same with his weekly playgroup from the same program.
I don't want to come off as a hysterical Mother or hypercondriac to the doctors or the therapists, but these things they don't see and I do, and I am aware that I have to be hard not to "look" for Autism issues, because so many people (my older son, my nephew, two of my three nieces, one of my brothers, possibly me, possibly my Mother, my uncle, my Grandpa) have been diagnosed or have shown symptoms of being on the Autistic Spectrum.
How does my son sound to you? What course of action should I take now? The professionals don't see it, I'm starting to sound like a broken record, but I don't feel like I'm being taken seriously. Also noted, I've worked in preschool/childcare for 20 years and he seems somewhat "off" (though not seriously) compared to most the children I've worked with.