I would love some input from moms -- i'm a first time mom, due at the end of October (but since it's my first, could go as late as 2 weeks into November, or early October- no idea!! My husband has not had any experience taking care of newborns, whereas I have worked at a daycare in the infant room, nannied for 2 8-week old babies, and taken care of babies since I could hold one- I am also very into health and fitness and I know that after having this baby I am going to want and need to be in my own environment, at home, recovering my pelvic floor, healing in all ways, and establishing a routine/sense of normalcy and bonding with my baby.
My husband is VERY close with his family... so close that I am suffering through a 3 week extended car-less visit in suburban massachusetts during a heat wave 6 months pregnant FOR HIM... he is convinced that it's completely fine to take our newborn baby to the east coast (we live on the west coast, so 7-8 hours travel time) over christmas to spend with his family. I don't have a close family so there's no issue there with who we're spending time with over holidays-- except that I simply REFUSE to take my newborn daughter on a packed plane during the holidays across the country while I am most likely still bleeding recovering from birth to go stay at his childhood home where we don't have a car, or any of the things that I am so carefully putting together with nesting (cloth diaper setup?? not good for travel until you really get the hang of it!!) -- it's just not happening.
Depending on when this baby is born, she will be anywhere from 5-6 weeks at the youngest (if I go really late 42ish weeks) to 8-10 weeks at the oldest (if she's born around 37/38 weeks)... if she's born on her due date she will be 7 weeks old for christmas- and I have taken care of 8 week old babies before- there is NO FREAKING WAY I would take one on a germy nasty plane for 7-8 hours and then be out of my safe comfortable familiar environment taking care of one.
My mom is planning on being out in California with us for at least a month to help with the newborn stage, so I will have help, so the whole argument (that my inlaws tried to use with me) that it will be nice to "hand the baby off" to someone and "get a break" is null and void - especially because I am breastfeeding, I'm still going to be the one who has to be around constantly it's not like I can just leave her with them.
I feel like they're just being selfish, because they want to see the baby. His mom and sisters can come visit US in California (only his mom has ever come out to see him and he's lived out here for 16 years with a solid job) if they want to see her newborn, otherwise they can wait, until we come NEXT summer when she is 7-8 months old for ONE week. It's just ridiculous they expect me to fly with my newborn daughter when I'm not even out of the 3 month postpartum/4th trimester recovery/bonding period.
am I right??