Okay, folks. My last desperate post was titled S-L-E-E-P (we aren't getting any).... now, whether situational or hormonal or chemical, my husband and I are both extremely depressed and anxious.
Our girl is spirited, that's for sure, and we've developed some coping mechanisms over the last five months but now really nothing is working and we're at the point of desperation. "Maybe we shouldn't have started a family!" "Maybe Margot will be an only child!" "Maybe we should let her cry it out?" "Maybe she needs to see a sleep specialist?!"
I have a scrip for Zoloft and a lovely group of counselors waiting for me in my new hometown (we're in the process of moving). I haven't taken the plunge into meds yet because I've just NEVER been a meds kind of person. I don't even take ibuprofin if I have a headache! But the thing is, my situation is stressful and not likely to become less so: husband in medical school, living without friends/family in the area, endlessly fussy baby who doesn't sleep, parents divorcing, tight on money. The list goes on.
My aunt recently and unexpectedly died and my family expects me to be on the West Coast by the 27th to speak at her memorial service. But I'm not sure I can hold it together enough to make the trip by myself. I just did a trip to California last month! And it was hard traveling with baby! Now I'm even more depressed, more exhausted, and baby is showing signs of teething. The thought of a flight with her is enough to do me in. My husband thinks I'm justified in forgoing the funeral. I feel guilty about missing it and not being there to support my family, but the thing is that *I* need help right now and am just barely capable of holding it together enough to go about my daily tasks, let alone travel and spend a few weeks hopping from household to household (grandma's house, mom's house, cousin's house) providing support in their grief.
What do you ladies think? Anyone missed a funeral or big family event because of baby? (If the memorial was driving distance, this wouldn't be as much of a problem. But the issue here is having to take a long cross country flight- with layovers- with a grumpy baby by myself when I'm barely hanging on. The thought is panicking me, actually.) Anyone dealing with depression or anxiety? Anyone have any fussy baby tricks? This baby doesn't really like being worn, just likes being held/walked around inside all day (walking outside overstimulates her and makes her a total grump). I have an Ergo and a Moby, but am thinking of plunking down the cash for a nice woven wrap because I am just.that.desperate.