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Had my first appointment...

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
Had my first OB appointment today - no checks or anything, just discussions etc on plans. I've been with the same practice for all 3 previous births (all sections) and needless to say I think I'm going to be switching to a new OB. The entire practice is COMPLETELY against a TOL for me to attempt a VBAC, and while I can appreciate the fact they have their rules I want to at least look at the possibility of it. Not just be automatically shut down. In addition to that, they are be very insistant that I get a tubal, which I very much do not want. They said, "well you already have 3 kids, and a fourth on the way so thats enough isn't it?" Who are they to continue to push it on me when I clearly stated, "NO." I literally had to explain to them why I didn't want it (not that it's any of their business why I personally don't want one IMHO.) I had to tell them, yes, I do have 3 kids already - with my EX-HUSBAND. I'm now with someone new, who has no children and we are wanting this one and possibly one more after. GRRRRR! Just made me so mad.
I came home and already got in touch with the OB in the area who I know supports VBAC's, and his office said to come in for a consult when they are settled in their new office. They assured me that yes, he will support a VBAC even after 3 sections. I know I can end up with another section, but I at least want to try to let my body do what it was designed to do. I was never given the chance with #2 & #3.
Ok, I feel better now since I got to vent! lol
post #2 of 12

So sorry about your experience with the OB. It seems like nowadays they just want to do whatever reduces the risk of being sued and/or is more lucrative.

 

I've been obsessing over what provider to pick- CNM at hospital, CPM at home...liked my homebirth, but I would have liked more testing and backup at hospital if things went wrong (and there;s none of that here in Mass)- I just made my appointment with a birth center. The hospital is right across the street if need be, but it's very home-like (and I don't have to set everything up like I did at home). My stress level has dropped greatly.

post #3 of 12

Good for you for sticking up for your own care. If they can't meet your needs, no shame in going elsewhere! I'm sorry you had that experience.

post #4 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by naturalmama1002 View Post

Good for you for sticking up for your own care. If they can't meet your needs, no shame in going elsewhere! I'm sorry you had that experience.


thumbsup.gif

 

I'm a little scared on picking my OB or midwife. Last time, I went with a birth center connected with a hospital. It was a very homey place and also had a spa tub for post partum mamas. But when it came time to give birth, it turned nasty. The nurses were mean, snobby, and they wanted to rush me out of there. (I was in labor for about 46 hours) There were nursing students there who pointed and laughed at me while I was struggling to push. I had no lactation consultant to help me so I had to rely on my own knowledge from reading books. I didn't want DS to have a bottle or a sugared pacifier but they gave it to him anyway (DS had troubles latching) Then, they messed up the birth certificate and put in the wrong gender. I am staying away from there. irked.gif

 

I am going with a midwife for sure but there are only two places in KC that have such a thing. One of them is on maternity leave so I have no choice but to go with the midwife practice that is associated with a hospital. It sucks because this hospital reminds me of the last one. I would love to do home birth but I prefer it in my own home and not in my in-law's place *awkwaarrdd*

post #5 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by C is for Cookie View Post


thumbsup.gif

 

I'm a little scared on picking my OB or midwife. Last time, I went with a birth center connected with a hospital. It was a very homey place and also had a spa tub for post partum mamas. But when it came time to give birth, it turned nasty. The nurses were mean, snobby, and they wanted to rush me out of there. (I was in labor for about 46 hours) There were nursing students there who pointed and laughed at me while I was struggling to push. I had no lactation consultant to help me so I had to rely on my own knowledge from reading books. I didn't want DS to have a bottle or a sugared pacifier but they gave it to him anyway (DS had troubles latching) Then, they messed up the birth certificate and put in the wrong gender. I am staying away from there. irked.gif

 

I am going with a midwife for sure but there are only two places in KC that have such a thing. One of them is on maternity leave so I have no choice but to go with the midwife practice that is associated with a hospital. It sucks because this hospital reminds me of the last one. I would love to do home birth but I prefer it in my own home and not in my in-law's place *awkwaarrdd*

 

Wow. Just wow. I'm so sorry about your last birth. That's awful.
I hope that you bring all that up with the new one so that she knows to protect you from that this next time!

post #6 of 12
I'm so sorry for your experience! greensad.gif I had lots of problems with my OB before I switched to a midwife due to his obvious lack of support of my birth plan. There are good OB's out there but they are so hard to find. Good luck finding a new OB or possibly a midwife that delivers in a hospital. I have a friend that had a homebirth after three c-sections, it's totally possible. The most important thing is to have a care provider that wants you to have a natural birth as much as you want to. smile.gif
post #7 of 12

man (hugs) to everyone who's had negative birth/ob experiences

 

I had an ob at first with my first. He seemed natural and supportive. Until I said that I didn't want an episiotomy under any circumstance...he said oh well i'd only give you an episiotomy if you need one...and i realized that unless I was high risk, hospital birth was not for me.

 

I have rape trauma, the idea of a strange man, cutting my vagina gives me the absolute hysterics. Even if i didn't, no one should think they get to decide things like that about my body, but me. lol

 

So if your provider can't give you the experience you want. I say, move on without any sort of guilt. it's your birth and should be the way you need it to be

post #8 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by Selissa View Post

man (hugs) to everyone who's had negative birth/ob experiences

 

I had an ob at first with my first. He seemed natural and supportive. Until I said that I didn't want an episiotomy under any circumstance...he said oh well i'd only give you an episiotomy if you need one...and i realized that unless I was high risk, hospital birth was not for me.

 

I have rape trauma, the idea of a strange man, cutting my vagina gives me the absolute hysterics. Even if i didn't, no one should think they get to decide things like that about my body, but me. lol

 

So if your provider can't give you the experience you want. I say, move on without any sort of guilt. it's your birth and should be the way you need it to be


Oh yeah, the episotomy. I didn't want that either. Actually, I didn't even know I had it done until my ob told me that I might need some pain medication after she stitched me up from the third-degree tear and episotomy. angry.gif I think I was so mad that it took my mind off the pain...because I didn't need any pain meds. The nurses were like "wow! you are a trooper..."  

 

I really hope my birth this time will be less stressful. I will definitely be asking a lot more questions to my potential ob or midwife...lesson learned.

post #9 of 12

Episiotomies make me so mad. The hubris...argh!!! I have always had midwives and had 10lb+ babies and never tore - thanks to expert care. To think that so many doctors just assume that your body can't do what it is meant to do makes me so angry. Maybe if the doctor SUPPORTED the area and massaged it like a midwife would they wouldn't need to cut. But then supporting a perineum is something ANYONE can do, so it makes doctors feel obsolete. Grrr. 

post #10 of 12
Oh man Selissa good thing you got out when you did it was like that for me too with my OB. I had a traumatic experience at 21 weeks with my first baby at the hospital. I went in because I was having contractions and I hadn't experienced them before so I was worried. I wasn't dilating or anything at all but the staff decided to cathetorize me even after a urinary infection test that was negative. They did an internal ultrasound which gave me a horrid yeast infection. They shot me up 3 times within an hour with tourbutaline ( spelling?) which made me violently shake for 2 days. It was horrid, and all of what they did was completely unnecessary. I hate hospitals.
post #11 of 12

So many of you have had traumatic experiences with birth and prenatal care.  I hope with your pregnancies and upcoming births that you have peace and find yourselves in a loving environment for the births. 

 

I have trauma, too, and for my two previous pregnancies, I ended up with two sections done by two less than kind surgeons after attempting births with midwives. It took until the birth of my son by c-section for me to be at peace with my first one.  I wish the medical community realized the emotional and physical hell that women go through when given horrible care by selfish and uncaring practitioners.  I'm working to be 100% at peace with the fact that  I'll have to have another c-section.  But my new OB came highly recommended by my very crunchy and amazing family doctor.  So I think I'll be in good hands. 
 

post #12 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shazer View Post

So many of you have had traumatic experiences with birth and prenatal care.  I hope with your pregnancies and upcoming births that you have peace and find yourselves in a loving environment for the births. 

 

I have trauma, too, and for my two previous pregnancies, I ended up with two sections done by two less than kind surgeons after attempting births with midwives. It took until the birth of my son by c-section for me to be at peace with my first one.  I wish the medical community realized the emotional and physical hell that women go through when given horrible care by selfish and uncaring practitioners.  I'm working to be 100% at peace with the fact that  I'll have to have another c-section.  But my new OB came highly recommended by my very crunchy and amazing family doctor.  So I think I'll be in good hands. 
 

I had a really good c-section. Everyone was wonderful. I hope that you have one like mine!!

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