I have sole physical and legal custody of my 29 month old son. His father was abusive and controlling and gets supervised visitation. He also threatened to kidnap our son and take him out of the country, when my son was 1 1/2 months old. I live in Western, MA, my son's father lives in the Bronx. The custody/visitation was done in NY, Westchester County, where I lived with my son at the time, but none of us live now. The judge allowed me and my son to move to MA for our safety (from my son's father). We had supervised visitation halfway between our homes, in Hartford, CT, but I recently talked my son's father into moving visitation closer to my home- Springfield, MA, for financial reasons. The judge told me in court that I'm responsible for paying for supervised visits, however, nothing is written about it on the actual custody/visitation order.
Our custody/visitation agreement goes something like this:
1. I have sole physical and legal custody.
2. He has supervised visitation somewhere between our homes. (Nothing is said about how often. We started out twice a month, then he went down to once a month, then I asked him if we could officially go down to once a month, because I was having a hard time affording it.)
3. The supervised visitation has to be affordable to me. (I found the cheapest available, but still more than I can afford. I've been bringing my son anyways.)
4. I have to inform my son's father of all major health, educational and general welfare of my son. (I've done the minimum, but that's mostly because he shows no interest- I've had to reschedule visits before because our son was sick, and didn't even get asked what was wrong with our son, or if our son was okay.)
5. We both need to inform the other if our home addresses change. (I moved last August and informed him immediately. His house was sold 14 months ago and I have proof that he's moved, but he has yet to inform me.)
6. Basically, both parties have to play nice, especially in front of the child.
My son's father has not seen my son for his monthly visitation for three months. Last month was my fault- my ride was very sick and I had to cancel at the last moment. I offered to reschedule for the following week, but he told me he already had the bus tickets and his (female) friend in Springfield to spend the night with for that night, and it would be too expensive to reschedule. The two months before that, I just never heard from him about visitation, so I didn't pursue it. Since we started visitation about a year and a half ago, I cancelled maybe three times total. But... my ride's car is in the shop and I have to bring my son to visitation on Thursday, as in, less than 48 hours, and he made it clear that if I "deny him his child again", I will find myself in court for contempt of court, and he will be asking for full weekends, weeks in the summer, holidays, etc. During supervised visitation, he's been on his best behavior, and I'm afraid that since he plays a good game when people are watching, he may get more visitation if we go back to court. And then my son will be in serious danger.
I can't find a ride to bring my son to visitation on Thursday and I have no money (and nobody who can lend me the money) to buy bus tickets or train tickets. Can he file for me being in contempt of court and "denying him his child" for me having to cancel two visits in a row, making him not to have seen our son for 4 months, if we have to wait until next month for the next visit? Basically, my question is, I'm trying my hardest to make this work for him, but if I can't make it work, how much doodoo will I be in?