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Any "alternative faith" or non-religious LF mamas out there?

post #1 of 26
Thread Starter 

Ie. Atheist/agnostic, Pagan, Buddhist, Hindu, liberal Christian/Jew/Muslim, etc.

 

Just wondering how many of us there are here. It seems like so many larger families are conservative religious, sometimes it even seems like a requirement or a competition, or that having a large fmaily is religiously driven. I kinda feel alone IRL because aside from my extended family I don't know anyone with more than 3-4 who isn't super religious or who is more alternative.

 

Anyone out there?

post #2 of 26

My family doesn't have any religion at this point although my husband prays to Guadalupe and I occasionally read something from Jehova's Witnesses since I have a few friends with that religion. I have four kids and all of my life I have struggled finding something that makes me feel complete and that truly makes sense. Catholic didn't work, Born Again didn't work, Presbyterian didn't work, Pagan didn't work, JW didn't work... So I have just taken what I've learned from each and applied it to my life. I have concluded that I don't need a religion to have faith or believe in something. There is no "right" religion for everyone and all religions all flawed. We are far from conservative over here. LOL. 

post #3 of 26

We are pretty much agnostic. Don't know/don't care. I do care, but can't find the truth lol I think if I were anything, it would be pagan. I was raised strict Southern Baptist, dh was raised nothing.

post #4 of 26
I'm atheist, DP and the younger boys are are Reform Jews and the older kids celebrate the nature based holidays with their other mama.
post #5 of 26

I dont really have a definitive faith, no. At least not one you can search by category in the phone book. ;) Mainly because most (not all) religions wildly conflict with my staunch uber liberal pro-everything lifestyle. I do have a belief in a higher being and strongly believe in many different things and ideas, I pray etc. But nothing strict or compartmentalized. 

 

Sometimes I am envious of people who do though, it must be very reassuring in a lot of ways. I have often felt that people who have religions that prohibit birth control/ quiverful must have such a sense of calm. Unlike me who has a near constant "Should we have another baby?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" inner war with myself that is so, so exhausting. 

post #6 of 26
Thread Starter 

So glad that I'm not alone here! DH is a lapsed/holiday Catholic, I'm... nature-based, I guess. No real definitive beliefs but probably not totally atheist either. Our kids celebrate Catholic holidays and are baptised (for the sake of his family), but we all observe nature-based and even somewhat Pagan holidays so we're pretty much all over the map at this point.

 

We've let mother nature decide with our fertility. Not so much as a religious thing as a, "whatever happens, happens" thing. Both DH and I wanted a large family and we've found parenthood enjoyable, so as long as we're healthy and no one is left wanting (for resources, attention, or other needs), we're fine with having as many or as few is natural for my body or our circumstances.

post #7 of 26

I was wondering the same thing, Dela.  I also wonder if I'm the only one here who sends my children to school!

 

I was raised loosely Christian (Episcopalian)...my single mother would take us to church in random stints, and my aunt is very religious born-again so sometimes we'd go along with them.  I craved religion- I was allured by the rituals and the RULES!  I remember trying to figure out, around 12 years old, if I could become Amish; I thought it was cool that they didn't use mirrors to ward off vanity.  I also worshiped the Ingalls family and the Waltons, so though I wasn't raised in a religious home, I do believe that quite a lot of what I've come to believe came from those families.  I'm very grateful that's where my guidance came from, as opposed to other t.v. shows of my childhood!  My husband was not raised with a family religious practice but his father had considered becoming a minister and now his mother claims to be Wiccan; he was raised with a lot of education on different religions.  

 

We celebrate a lot of festivals- Martinmas/lantern walk, Solstice, Advent, Saint Nicholas Day, Christmas, Easter, and May Day- all with a humanistic and pagan twist.  I teach Waldorf preschool so there are a lot of ways I've been able to make the festivals relevant to all families (including mine!) regardless of their religious beliefs as I have pared them down more to their purpose/meaning and what lessons they have to offer.  We also keep the fun parts- the Easter bunny, Christmas tree, Saint Nicholas.  I am feeling really good with the rituals I've created for my family and using them as a venue for passing on family values.  

 

We are liberal politically in general, though I have some more conservative judgments around certain issues that I notice differ from my circle of friends and even my husband.  

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by momtoafireteam View Post

I dont really have a definitive faith, no. At least not one you can search by category in the phone book. ;) Mainly because most (not all) religions wildly conflict with my staunch uber liberal pro-everything lifestyle. I do have a belief in a higher being and strongly believe in many different things and ideas, I pray etc. But nothing strict or compartmentalized. 

 

Sometimes I am envious of people who do though, it must be very reassuring in a lot of ways. I have often felt that people who have religions that prohibit birth control/ quiverful must have such a sense of calm. Unlike me who has a near constant "Should we have another baby?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" inner war with myself that is so, so exhausting. 

 

So true!!  Love that last line, I think I've said those exact words myself before!  

post #8 of 26

Mata- My older kids do go to school, but I severely miss homeschooling. I miss my kids and our "old life". I will definately also homeschool the toddler for years, too. I see alot about public school that I hate, but there is good, also. My kids have done well so far, and my oldest starts college next month(!!omg.i'm.so.old!!) Kids are definately different in public school...cultureally and socially...and it can be hard to get used to!

post #9 of 26
We're "spiritual"/UU/agnostic-ish and liberal (neither of us really fit on the democrat/republican spectrum), but both have some amount of Mormon background, which I'm sure influences our feelings on family size.
post #10 of 26

We're atheists. Well, my 9 year old is the only one of the kids old enough to say anything about it, and she says she is for now.

post #11 of 26
I tend to keep those details private, but I will say we are on a journey of self discovery and taking the kids along for the ride.
post #12 of 26

We are atheists and we participate in some religious holidays as a cultural experience. I let my children explore religion because I want them to decide for themselves as well as understand the history of religion. We also send our children to public and private schools. Our area is very diverse and it's important that my children learn to respect others' beliefs. I am thrilled to see so many other large families that aren't religious. I often feel left out when other big families start talking about their faith.
 

post #13 of 26
My dh is an atheist, I am more of a UU Pagan. I kinda flutter between beliefs and pick out what works for me. I have at least two kids who are atheist. We are not Conservative in almost any way. My maternal family is Southern Baptist or Atheist/Agnostic/Pagan and I was raised Jewish (step-father). I have large families on every line of family I'm connected to. I love it. It's what I like and am used to.
post #14 of 26

I also feel like we're one of the few large families and homeschooling families who are not super religious.  We are Christian but I don't feel that we have to read the bible or attend church to have a relationship with God.  Having said that, we sure have a lot of bibles in our house!  Different versions of the bible come with the curriculum we order for our kids.  We read the kid bibles sometimes as part of school but mostly to just know the main bible stories.  We don't memorize verses or anything.  I feel like we are "homechurching" instead of attending church services.  We belong to a church but really just to baptize our children and help our community by delivering food with them to the local homeless shelter monthly. 

post #15 of 26
I am Pagan. The husband has Buddhist leanings. The children don't practice anything at this point.
post #16 of 26

Okay so I don't really belong on this thread ;) but I just wanted to share that it was my love for huge families that really brought me to Christianity in the first place. LOL I hadn't cracked open a Bible or had a religion until after having lots of kids. It just seemed like all the happy, smiling, large (homeschooling) families I ever found were always Christians. I felt left out of something fun and positive or something. I didn't know anyone else that was supportive of large families! So I started reading their blogs and ever so slowly but surely got drawn into Christianity and the joy it offers. So, I was a non-religious LF! :P

post #17 of 26

Here! We're secular homeschoolers, and I am expecting #4 (it's still early so I haven't made any announcements in public yet). We're not atheists or materialists, don't believe that God is a person, do believe there is a higher good than we know, more to existence than we know, and that our choices matter a lot, whether to grow into the best we can be, or to shirk that responsibility.

 

Being homeschoolers with 3 kids in tow (and it doesn't show yet, but another on the way!) makes a lot of people assume we're religious homeschoolers, and another subset of people assume that you're either a church-goer or an atheist.

 

We also got some rude comments that made me think of the commenter as a simpleton like Gomer Pyle who just didn't know better than to blurt out whatever popped to mind, like "Gawwwwlee! You shore do have a big mess o' kids, dontcha?" and weirdly, they have come, each time they have happened, from people in their 50's or 60's...who are also the most likely, unless they are either homeschoolers themselves or have grandkids that are, to have outspoken opinions against homeschooling.

If necessary, since these people make such comments in front of my kids, I will turn to the kids and tell them, "see? this is a good example of how NOT to behave. It's called a Rude Personal Comment." I don't know if I could do it, though.


Edited by goingonfour - 1/22/14 at 5:49am
post #18 of 26
DH and I are not religious in any sense. I don't even contemplate it really. It does amaze me and bring forth a little jealousy at how most large families appear to be Christian. I want to homeschool, but I'm afraid that I won't have enough community support since I won't have a Christian-based curriculum. I have been to a UU church and a Catholic church with my friend and once with my aunt when I was a child. I've looked at paganism and buddhism. Buddhist definitely fits me best, but I don't have the time or energy to begin to be religious IYKWIM. If asked, I'd say I'm agnostic. DH is atheist. I'm liberal and DH is republican, but I wouldn't call him conservative. That's it in a nutshell.
post #19 of 26

We are atheists with four children. I'll throw in a fun twist, my children attend a private catholic school. :wink I never get comments on my family size there! Two of the four are already have declared themselves atheists as well but are handling the school environment just fine. 

post #20 of 26

Motivated Mama,

Not sure where you are located, but I bet you could find come good support for homeschooling in your area.  Most homeschoolers are open to lending a hand and welcoming others, even if they don't share faith.  The educational stuff would be your common ground :)  The only exception I have found is a Christian co-op, where signing a statement of faith was mandatory...so you just find a different co-op to go to if that's not your style.  So, don't be afraid to give homeschooling a try!!

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