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Mothering › Groups › September 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › Talk this through with me please? (Am I just being hormonal?)

Talk this through with me please? (Am I just being hormonal?)

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
This is probably going to be pretty long. OK, so. My OBGYN delivers at two local hospitals BJ and PW. I had my youngest two at PW (both inductions with eventual epidurals). It's only like 6 years old, so the rooms are nice and bright and everything is newer and IMO more comfortable. BJ is older and the rooms are smaller and much more basic and not nearly as nice IMO. PW is also more familiar to me, like when I envision giving birth, I envision myself there-because it's what I've come to know. That being said, BJ has jacuzzi tubs in each room (I believe EVERY room) and they also have a birth pool for labor use (technically they don't let you actually birth in it, but I've talked to the OB nurses as well as my OB and they won't make me get out, but they're required to request I leave the pool for the birth). PW only has showers, and crappy fold down slotted seats in them. From the women I've talked to, including my OB as well as two of the NP's in her office, BJ is hands down the better hospital if you're wanting to have a natural non-interventional birth. So, it would seem like my choice would be pretty easy. I decided a while ago to go with BJ, although the idea that I'll be there in labor for a few hours, and actually just recuperating with baby for 2 days, so maybe the nicer accommodations would be preferable-but BJ still won out in my mind.

Skip ahead to two nights ago. I went into BJ"s L & D because I had what I thought was a UTI (it was) and I started having really, really bad cramps from it, and they honestly felt like and were timeable like contractions. I mean, this is my 5th, I know what contractions generally feel like. They hooked me up to the monitor and for those familiar with how contractions register, it would go up about 10 points when I would have them, but in the grand scheme of things, they really weren't registering. The OB triage nurse acted like I was a spaz and imagining the pains because they weren't registering so they obviously didn't exist. Then the house doc came in to see me and said he was going to check me-I was like, why, you've clearly said I'm not having contractions and I don't have cervical checks before active labor. He was like, well we need to make sure blah blah blah. I get that, but I also get that if they were so adamant I wasn't having contractions, and I had no other signs or indications of dilating, it wasn't really necessary. Fast forward to having a bad UTI, getting two bags of IV meds, and then waiting to be discharged...the nurse comes in and tell me that house doc has written me a script for Macrobid-I'm completely opposed to taking Macrobid at this point in pregnancy, because it's specifically contraindicated in the last 2-4 weeks of pregnancy due to it causing hemolytic anemia in the baby (it destroys baby's red blood cells), and the internets were riddled with stories of complications in newborns with anything from jaundice to brain bleeds. Even though I'm only 31 weeks, I AM NOT comfortable taking it at this stage of pregnancy, not even a little. So I say to the nurse, "can you please ask the house doc to prescribe something else, I'm not comfortable taking Macrobid this late in pregnancy" she then goes on to say well we always prescribe this in the third trimester, and only if you were due in the next few DAYS would it be an issue (the 2-4 weeks figure is from the manufacturers website), I also think house doc talked to regular OB and she was fine with it. I said I understand but I'm not comfortable with it, then she agreed to call the house doc and ask. She comes back and repeats the same info and says house doc said if I have an issue then to call regular OB in the morning. Nurse says well I'll still give you the script and what you choose to do with it is up to you.

Obviously (?) I was annoyed with how that whole thing went down. So now, where my issue lies, is that I DO NOT LIKE that house doc. The bigger issue is that my OB generally doesn't attend births after hours, so if I do go into labor after hours, there is a very good chance that this house doc will be attending my birth. The thought of that really bothers me. I do NOT like him, at all, even a little. And I have no doubts that everything with my labor and birth will end up being an exercise in constantly needing to assert myself, and there's already a precedent of he doesn't give a shit what I want.

In my births at PW, I wasn't even questioned or even given a second thought about all my "quirky" requests or denials of consent in my birth plan for typical aspects of labor and birth. I even had a nurse comment how awesome it was I was informed and not afraid to make my preferences known and I should question everything anyone wants to do and forgo if I don't like it or understand it.

So now I'm left in this quandary of do I return to what I know, foregoing the option of a tub to labor in (which I think will be instrumental in a successful natural birth), but being familiar and knowing the kind of situation I will be in, or do I roll the dice and have the availability of a tub or pool to labor in, but possibly end up with an OB who will likely demand I leave the tub for labor anyway, will likely ignore my wishes, and be left feeling like I have to advocate for myself on a consistent basis??
post #2 of 13
Originally Posted by thefreckledmama View Post

From the women I've talked to, including my OB as well as two of the NP's in her office, BJ is hands down the better hospital if you're wanting to have a natural non-interventional birth.


Could you/have you asked them about what makes it the better hospital if you're wanting to have a "natural non-interventional birth"?  Is it just the tubs?  Is it about the staff?  Could you ask your OB, the NP's, friends, etc about their experiences with this particular doctor?  Is there any way of finding out if this person is there once a week?  Or five days a week?

post #3 of 13

In my opinion you are going to be a woman in labor, you shouldn't have to be distracted with advocating for yourself and explaining in detail why you will or will not do something. That's not the time, you're busy IN LABOR! DO you have a doula who could advocate for you? If so, then I would say go for the facility with the tub and all that. However, if you don't I think foregoing those luxuries to labor at the facility where your "quirks" won't be questioned would provide a better experience and help you focus better. Is it possible to play by ear up until the day you go in labor and if you go during "business" hours then go to the facility with the tub where your OB will be? If you could just wait and see as to what time you go into labor, that would be ultimately the best option I think. That way you are leaving it all open so if "A" happens then you go this route, but if "B" happens then you can take this other route.  I know that is a lot of up in the air, nothing set it stone scenario.


Whatever way it all goes I hope you get the experience you deserve and that the attending staff respect you and your wishes. :)

post #4 of 13
Thread Starter 
Part of it is the tubs, and a large part of it is the staff. Of the two hospitals my OB goes, the more natural one is where she does the most births, the other hospital has a satellite office.

I would like to have a doula, but unfortunately with doula's in my area running in the area of $750+, it's just not something we can afford.

I think in the end I probably will end up playing it by ear. She has asked where I intend on giving birth, but even if at the last minute I decide differently and she gets a call that I'm in labor it's not like she's going to say no you picked the other and make me move from one hospital to the other. I'll probably discuss it a bit at the next appointment as well, and if she's able to tell me that all the things we have discussed and she's ok'd that are in my chart will be followed by him then I will also have my mind put at ease at least a little.
post #5 of 13

One question is, since it's your 5th, do you plan on being in the hospital long enough to need the labor tub?  Would you rather have the tub or have your requests amicably received?  Those are two things I think of, not trying to suggest the path you should take.

post #6 of 13
Would it be an option to bring your own labor pool (buy or rent) to the PW hospital?
post #7 of 13
Thread Starter 
That's a good point. I probably should factor into account planning to stay home as long as I can, and then the amount of time they may very well make me stay in triage, then how long it would be until I'd actually be getting into the pool and would it realistically be long enough to make it worth while.

Taking my own pool to PW isn't an option. They specifically have a policy against it-insurance from damage from possible leaks, etc,. etc...
post #8 of 13

This is such a tough call. I can totally understand your dilemna. But, I think in the end, I'd stick with the PW hospital. As much as I loved my water birth (and just laboring in the birthing pool), I think I would give that up for all the other benefits of the PW hospital over the BJ hospital, as you've described them.


I hope, whatever you choose, you are able to have the birth experience you're looking for and supportive staff helping you with it. Good luck!

post #9 of 13
I would also go with the PW hospital. My fear of birthing in a hospital is based totally on the bad treatment and disregard for my wishes I've received in my experience with hospitals, and if I were pretty sure I had the choice of going to a place where my wishes would be honored and I'd be treated respectfully, I'd opt to go there even if the accommodations are less cosy. I do understand your dilemma, though!
post #10 of 13
Thread Starter 
I have an appointment with my OB tomorrow, and I'm going to discuss all this with her, but I think I've more or less decided on PW. In the end, it's familiar, and I think all things being even, that familiarity will be comforting to me, rather than thinking about any unknowns. Also, my SIL who will likely either have my two younger kiddos, or be there with us lives literally 5 minutes away, so that's also a plus.
post #11 of 13

Sounds like you're making the right decision. smile.gif

post #12 of 13
Thefreckledmama- just wanted to chime to say that maybe you can find a doula in training (which is what I am) who may attend the birth for a greatly reduced fee. If you are interested you can find doula trainers contact info on the DONA website and contact them about pitting you in touch with one.

Best of luck with our decision.
post #13 of 13
Thread Starter 
Thanks vegrunr, I'll look into that. I had hesitated to ask in my local AP group and other places that seemed like a good place to be asking because in the past when anyone has asked about reduced fee professionals there's always an uproar about paying individuals for the work they do, so I was afraid of offending anyone.

I talked to my OB yesterday and she said while she still thinks BJ is great for natural births, that if I feel like I'd be more comfortable at PW then that's what matters more. We also discussed if I go over my due date and she said at 41 weeks we will check fluid and such, then at 42 weeks we will take it day by day but as long as she looks good, she has no predetermined limit on how far I can go over. She also said since this is my 5th, she doubts I will go too far past my edd anyway, unless we were off on dates and baby just needs time to cook, but were pretty sure on dates so we shall see!
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