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Im lost!

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 

Please Please

I have just started on the road of adoption. I am in the state of Oregon(if the matters) any I was wondering if you experienced parents can give me some advice on adoption for when just starting out.

 

I dunno what to even ask or start.

Is there certifications I should look for in an agency?

Is there a spot I could connect with the mother only and not through an agency?

I'm just lost and need some guidance.

post #2 of 12
Thread Starter 

Oh my....20 views and no advice!!! Common mamas. I called OHS today to see if I did a homestudy would it cover every agency.....the answer was no. I have a lot to learn. How do I pick a agency.  Any advice would be appreciated.

 

I have recently had my last failed IVF cycle with no success and I just want another baby to love!

post #3 of 12

I am sorry you have not gotten any helpful responses yet. Unfortunately, mine won't be much better. Although I am also in Oregon, my experience, both personal and professional, is with the foster/adopt path, not newborn adoption. Have you considered international adoption, foster/adoption, other ways to build a family? It sounded from your post that you were looking only at domestic, newborn adoption. In no way a bad choice, but I wonder if you have considered alternatives.

 

If I were you, I would start by contacting several different agencies, and see what they have to say. You could find them in the phone book, or a google search, or whatever. Each may have a slightly different focus; one may fit you better than the others. At this stage, I would not commit to anything, certainly not give anyone any money. Just ask lots of questions. I believe there are lawyers who specialize in adoption - they would know if you really must go through an agency, what the advantages are.

 

It sounds like your IVF experience is quite recent. You need some time to grieve. Using this time to do some research may give you time to sort out your own feelings, and learn about the options at the same time.

 

I know you are anxious to get on with this, to build your family. But remember, it is never a quick and easy process. And you have the rest of your life - six months or a year of planning and research will be long forgotten in the decades of love you share with a child.
 

post #4 of 12

When you post a new thread, it pops up in the new posts area, so often there are a lot of views but the right person hasn't come along to answer it. :)

 

I think more info is needed to help you out. I'm not in Oregon, but what type of adoption are you looking to do? I did a direct consent adoption in MI with an attorney.

post #5 of 12

I am one of those views. I was stalking you last night because I was wondering how you were. Sorry I can't give you any advice (a hug instead? hug2.gif)
 

post #6 of 12
Thread Starter 

Thanks RcR for stalking me, I need itsmile.gif

Krisnic I do understand about the views....but I also felt there was some info out there not being shared.  And as a mod I know that a lot of people are hesitant to  be the first to answer a post. Thank you for you reply. I do have a question for you......Did you feel that having a direct attorney was best for your situation or do you think it would have been better/easier to go through an agency?

marmarhu~ I am anxious to get started can you tell? We have always wanted to adopt but because age was against us we wanted to try ivf first. Since out last FET failed I am just ready to move on and make my family larger. I have always wanted to adopt and feel like I have had many foster parents myself. Trust me I m dealing with my feelings too. Thanks for your concern. I have called two agencies so far and getting information in the mail. In addition, my RE has recommended a couple of places. I am open to international adoption to but it seem there a some age restrictions that I do not meet. I guess 38 is too old for mothering *sigh*

Thanks for the advice.

 

I was just wondering if there were some tips out there or if people looked back and thought"If I had asked,or known" questions to help me out. And also just trying to feel what the adoption community is like here on Mothering. I spend a lot of time In parenting and fertility, and good ole toddler threads.

Thanks all

 

ETA: I have the answers to a few of my questions already from my original post........just was able to do more research.

post #7 of 12

Definitely better that we had an attorney. There aren't really any agencies around us that could have done our adoption anyway.But our attorney was to the point and had a relationship with the court that got everything done seamlessly. 

post #8 of 12

Hi Tracy, have you also looked at the Resource sticky for this forum? There is a lot of good information in there!!

 

http://www.mothering.com/community/a/adoption-and-foster-parenting-resources
 

post #9 of 12
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by lauren View Post

Hi Tracy, have you also looked at the Resource sticky for this forum? There is a lot of good information in there!!

 

http://www.mothering.com/community/a/adoption-and-foster-parenting-resources
 

Oh thanks Lauren! I am checking it out now.

post #10 of 12
I'm also in the beautiful state of Oregon. I'm pursuing domestic infant adoption. We have our home visit this morning yikes!

I started by calling a bunch of agencies in Oregon. Open Adopt out of Portland was especially helpful. Adoptions from the Heart was very unhelpful. We are using a lawyer to be our action arranger and so far so good. When you use a lawyer, a home study is a home study as long as it is done by someone certified. Adoption Mosaic is a good website too.

Good luck! I can share more of what I've learned so far with you later and can let you know all about the home visit soon. I need to go prep for our visit right now. :-]
post #11 of 12
Oops! Adoption arranger not action arranger! Although I'm hoping for some action really soon :-)
post #12 of 12
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by sisqamy View Post

I'm also in the beautiful state of Oregon. I'm pursuing domestic infant adoption. We have our home visit this morning yikes!

I started by calling a bunch of agencies in Oregon. Open Adopt out of Portland was especially helpful. Adoptions from the Heart was very unhelpful. We are using a lawyer to be our action arranger and so far so good. When you use a lawyer, a home study is a home study as long as it is done by someone certified. Adoption Mosaic is a good website too.

Good luck! I can share more of what I've learned so far with you later and can let you know all about the home visit soon. I need to go prep for our visit right now. :-]

Thanks for the info. I am going to make some calls today. I cannot find if I am able to adopt from a facilitator(independent) in Oregon.  Laws are different in every state.

How was the homestudy?....details please!!!!!!!! Did your homestudy then come from DHS?

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